Customer Reviews

The Final Act of Living

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This book is the 101 of end of life issues. Barbara Karnes covers it all in this book. It's informative like a text book yet easy to read. I found the stages of dying very helpful along with her ideas on grieving, how men and women grieve differently. Loved her personal stories, they made a very informative book more heartfelt.

I LOVE this book! Barbara Karnes, RN, reminds us that death is not a medical event but a normal, natural social event. It doesn't have to be the ordeal most people dread. With accurate information and adequate support, dying can be a rich, rewarding family experience.

Karnes also wrote the invaluable pamphlet "Gone from My Sight," which some hospices give to families of dying patients. This more recent book includes moving stories from the author's own longtime hospice experience, descriptions of the deaths of her own parents, and much more.

This nurse provides detailed, deeply reassuring information about how we die. For example, she explains the 3 areas--food, sleep, and social interaction--that let one know whether a person has weeks, days, or hours to live. She cautions against the practice of hydrating a person near death, reminding us that dehydration is "nature's anesthetic." She also recommends against using a suction machine, since it usually irritates the throat and triggers the body to produce more secretions. There are better ways to keep a person comfortable.

Karnes sees dying as an opportunity to address any unfinished business, to live in the present, and to say goodbye. But she goes beyond the tools and attitudes that can help a patient and caregivers experience a gentle, peaceful, natural death. She also explains what to do afterwards. For example washing the body and allowing people to view the body can help the grieving process. Additionally, she discusses legal questions and stresses the importance of having an advanced health care directive.

I can't imagine anyone I'd rather have as a hospice nurse than the knowledgeable, no-nonsense, compassionate Barbara Karnes. This little book is a gem!

Nancy Manahan, Ph.D. author of Living Consciously, Dying Gracefully - A Journey with Cancer and Beyond

i found barbaras book to be tremendously informative and helpful. it gave me knowledge and insight into a subject that i find is sadly neglected in our education.the tools and insight gained from this book have helped me feel more at ease and prepared. i am very grateful and would highly recommend it to any body who finds themselves faced with the reality of death.

I come from a large family of 10 children who was blessed with an amazing father. He made us all feel special , he was an optimist and easy going. A happy, funny, compassionate man who was the heart of our family. We all felt like only children. Last summer he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Researching online about his illness was scary. What's going to happen..this is going to be bad. An office worker of my brother recommended this book to him. My mom read it and we either ordered our own copy or passed it along through out our family memebers. If people ever ask me what are the top books that affected your life this one will be on my list. It was extremely helpful during my father's dying experience on many levels. My Mom and siblings still occasionally bring up how lucky we were to have all read this book. What it does is for one thing explain the dying process physically. I knew steps ahead what would happen to my dad ahead of time. As in not eating or not taking fluids. It is reassuring in expaining why this is natural when before our knee jerk reaction would have been to be upset or to try to get him to intake more. It helped us all care for him and let go more graciously. I knew it was possible my dad would metantally brake down at times. (He never did) or to understand even if he was sleeping it's o.k he can often times still hear me. It wasn't about ME when the visits got shorter. He really wasn't capable at the time and how ultimately as long as my dad was comfortable the visits were really more for me at the end and to not be hurt by that. We were calmed by stories of people dying who had visions of loved ones waiting. On how to truly care for my father. It has a lot from the dying persons perspective. Ultimately what it did for my whole family was to inform us what to expect. We were able to see the progression and understand where my father was in his dying process and to accept it along the way. By doing this and explaining what my father needed we were all able to cultivate inner peace. Nothing was a surpirse we were prepared and in turn we were able to surround my father with an truly present,calm, loving and peaceful supportive family. I tell people all the time I love the way my father died. The 6 months of his process were some of my most intimate and sweet,calm and warm memories. It would have for me personally have not been the case if it wasn't for this book.

This book should be so required reading everywhere.

My dad died OCT 09 and I wished I had known about this book before.

There were a lot of of unanswered question and "why's" after he died.

I was lucky to go Barbra's seminar she put on in Lansing Michigan Nov 09. I have to admit I had a mind set of being informed with just the basics of dying and most of the time being bored through most of it

Let me tell you that seminar was 4.5 hours and it held my attention the whole time not wanting it to end. When she asked anyone if anyone had questions after the seminar only 2 people asked and the reason for that I think is that she answered every question anyone had and answered it them all by just the info she gave at the seminar

The information she gave, blew me away. I came out of that seminar with all my questions and "why's answered. I could leave that seminar with my mind in peace and tell my mother, brother and sister that no one should feel guilty and they did everythig right with the information they had at the time. We were all 2nd guessing about should we have done this or that. Barbras' seminar made my mind at peace.

I was taking notes and was worried I wouldnt get all the information she was presenting where I wouldnt be able tell my family the process of dying and to ease their minds.

She was selling her book and I ask was everything she talked about in the seminar in that book. They said "yes" and even more detail was in the book.

I looked through it and sure enugh everythig she talked about in her seminar was in the book plus more.

This book should be required reading for anyone entering the medical field or anyone living so they can help them understand the dying process and what you can do to help or not help in some cases.


When he died and going to Barbara's seminar and then reading her book. I saw every one of the signs of the dying process years before that are stated in the book.

In hindsight my dad gave me a gift when he was dying. Now I am able to see the signs years before till minutes of death because of this book. Now I can help others who are dying or for the family that is going through a love one who is dying to help them understand it and ease their minds even in their own death one day

God Bless you Brarbra

What Marvin Gaye was to music, Barbara Karnes is to the writing of "The Final Act of Living."

This book is Authentic in that Barbara tells it like it is, and Beautiful in its literal presentations. It's contents are layered with Compassion, and Detailed in their delivery. It genuinely is the A to Z of "The Final Act of Living," or should I say A to D.

Page after page, I found Barbara's words describing exactly what I'd experienced when my own loved one recently died from cancer. It was as if she'd been there beside me. I, for one, commend her for taking the time to share her experiences, and prepare us for the wondrous journey of caring for another who's destination is near.

A must read for anyone who is believes we live, and live, and live some more until we can no longer. Thank you Barbara.

The book was wonderful; however, I ordered and paid for a new book and when it arrived, it has been written in and highlighted.

after receiving a pamphlet written by this author in the hospital when my friend was terminal, i ordered her book on line. what a help. since i was acting as the health care surrogate for my friend and had never been that close to the actual physical process of dying before, i needed to know what to expect. this book not only helped me to know what to expect, it helped me help my friend to know what to expect. that alleviated a LOT of her fears and made me feel so helpful to her in her time of real need. this alone was of such value, it's hard to express it. but the author also guides you through handling the tough times when your "patient" may be so angry that it's hard to just be around them and continue helping. i highly recommend this book to anyone going through a friend or loved one's dying process. this book, which i read twice during my friends dying process, was the greatest help and taught me some great lessons that i will always cherish.

for anyone losing a loved one this book is excellent to understand the dieing process your loved one went through and trying to help you with the pain of loss by understanding it