Final Arrangements: A Novel [Hardcover]

Miles Keaton Andrew (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 15, 2002

Ever since his parents' funeral, Casey Kight felt a comfort and ease among morticians that he knew no where else in the world. He decided right then, at the age of nine, what he wanted to be when he grew up...an undertaker. The day he turned twenty-one, Casey joined the ranks of Morton-Albright, a family owned and operated mortuary, in the small Florida town of Angel Shoals.

Immediately, he felt right at home. He seems to have a gift for embalming. The Morton and Albright families welcome him like the family he never had. The quirky and mischievous Natalie Albright is the girl he's always dreamed of. And within the walls of Morton-Albright, Casey feels a reassuring presence that calms him, like nothing ever has before.

But his happiness will be short-lived if the mortuary falls victim to a rapacious funeral-home giant. With family secrets being uncovered, contested wills, and rumors of illegal funeral practices circling, the lives entwined in this funeral home become filled with intrigue, deception, and, of course, death.

Bringing abundant experience and a fresh wit to the page, Miles Keaton Andrew offers a clever, spirited, darkly humorous first novel, rich with dialogue and full of nuanced characters.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Apprentice mortician Casey Kight is reminded that "the first three letters in `funeral' are f-u-n" in this wonderfully bizarre, irreverent and graphic look at the mortuary industry, complete with embalmings, cremations and corpses that snore. Twenty-one-year-old orphan Casey has always wanted to be a mortician. When he hires on as an apprentice at the Morton-Albright Funeral Home and Memorial Chapel in Angel Shores, Fla., he has a lot to learn. Ray ("Don't you just love that new-casket smell?") teaches embalming, Carl teaches the fine art of orifice packing, and the manager, Jerry, wants Casey to marry his quirky daughter, Natalie, so the family will have a male heir to take over the business. Casey quickly decides, to everyone's surprise, that he is going to like all aspects of the job. He likes embalming and other unpleasant procedures, and longs for the day when he is a licensed funeral director. Meanwhile, he deals with a pistol-waving mourner who drops dead in the viewing room, twin mortuary students Morey and Lester (aka More or Less) and a crackpot who goes nuts on a school stage with a box of sheep hearts and a baseball bat. Casey also has to help the owners of Morton-Albright fight a hostile takeover by a ruthless, cut-rate, nationwide funeral home conglomerate. When he and Natalie infiltrate the corporate giant to gather evidence, heads roll (literally). Despite the nonstop references to scatological and other bodily functions, Andrew's debut is a very funny tale of young love and mystery set amid draining tables and suction tubes. Agent, Loren G. Soeiro. (Mar.)Forecast: The popularity of the HBO series Six Feet Under may have whetted readers' appetites for funeral home shenanigans; if so, this is the perfect novel to satisfy them.
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

About the Author

Miles Keaton Andrew has worked in the funeral trade for over a decade. This is his first novel.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 304 pages
• Publisher: Thomas Dunne Books; First Edition edition (March 15, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0312274629
• ISBN-13: 978-0312274627
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 6.1 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (21 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,629,534 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars One of the best books I've read in years, May 29, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: Final Arrangements: A Novel (Hardcover)

I've never written review for a book before, at least not here. The reason is simply because I have never before come across a book that I enjoyed as much as Final Arrangements by Miles Keaton Andrew.

When I first picked up the book, I admit it was the author photo that intrigued me. It's an overhead shot of the author lying in an open grave. Seeing this gave me an idea of just how original and jaded the author's sense of humor would be. It was nothing compared to the story and the characters.

The story gets into your brain. When I finished the book, I started it again. It's just that good.

Miles Keaton Andrew is definately an author that we will be hearing a lot from in the future. This book has become one of my all time favorites. I can't recommend it highly enough.

10 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I am dying to tell you about this book, March 20, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: Final Arrangements: A Novel (Hardcover)

Death follows Casey Kight everywhere he goes it seems. He has been obsessed with becoming an undertaker since his parents died in a plane crash when he was nine, where he found comfort within the walls of Morton Albright, a family run funeral home, fighting to stay independent while threatened by a huge corporation. Casey is a "natural", drawn to all aspects of the morbid trade. He soon takes up with the owner's daughter, eccentric and strangely lovable "deathy obsessed" Natalie who everyone within the funeral home wants him to marry, to produce a male heir to foil an inner family conspiracy to sell Morton Albright out from under the family out of sheer spite. Be warned this book is dark, often graphic and liberally sprinkled with post-mortem detail. Sometimes uncomfortably too much information is present about the corpses lying in wait for burial and their preparation techniques, yet Andrew has accomplished a difficult task; bringing together rather distasteful scenes, humorous and delightful dialogue and wonderfully three dimensional characters into a page turning book. It has been some time since a book made me laugh aloud like this one. Andrew's debut novel is written from obvious experience and his well-crafted characters come alive though people are dying all around them.

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Funniest Book I Ever Read!, May 22, 2002

By 

Sharon DeMille (NYC) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Final Arrangements: A Novel (Hardcover)

How long has it been since you embarrassed yourself laughing out loud on the train ride home? This one did it for me. How long has it been since you fell in love with fictional characters? I hated to see them go. I laughed, I cried, and when it was all over, how I hated turning that last page! A must read. Casey Kight lives! Natalie is deathy as hell!