Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker [Hardcover]

Bonnie Eaker Weil (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 17, 2008

An acclaimed couples therapist gives expert advice on how to handle the most common problem in committed relationships

Financial infidelity is the #1 problem in relationships. Secret credit cards, binge shopping, revenge spending, financial power plays, and hidden bank accounts are just a few examples of how money can be used to harm a relationship. In Financial Infidelity, Dr. Bonnie, one of the nation’s leading couples therapists, is the first to offer effective solutions to this pervasive relationship threat, enabling readers to:

• Assess the true cost of financial infidelity
• Understand how buying, rewarding, or controlling behavior with money can open the door to lies, betrayals, and affairs
• Understand how childhood relationships to money and love can create damaging emotional links
• Separate the value of their relationship from the value of their bank account
• Disconnect from harmful emotional and financial behaviors in order to reconnect with their partner

Financial Infidelity will open readers’ eyes to the connections between money, sex, and love, as it helps them understand how to handle the hidden financial problems in a relationship and heal the inevitable emotional fallout. Dr. Bonnie has a near one hundred percent success rate in counseling her patients—this book is the next best thing to a session with the doctor herself!

Editorial Reviews

Review

“[A] must-read for everyone…Dr. Eaker Weil shows how to predict, prepare for, and prevent Financial Infidelity.”
—David Bach, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Smart Couples Finish Rich and The Automatic Millionaire --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

About the Author

Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D. has been an internationally acclaimed relationship therapist for thirty years and is the author of several books, including Make Up, Don’t Break Up and Adultery: The Forgivable Sin. New York magazine named her one of the city’s top therapists and Psychology Today named her one of America’s best therapists.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 336 pages
• Publisher: Hudson Street Press (April 17, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1594630453
• ISBN-13: 978-1594630453
• Product Dimensions: 9.5 x 6.6 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #826,054 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil (Dr. Bonnie) is a relationship expert who was named by Psychology Today as one of America's best therapists, and by New York Magazine as one of New York City's best therapists. Known as "The Adultery Buster" and the "No. 1 Love Expert," she is the best-selling author of Adultery: The Forgivable Sin (adapted into a Lifetime movie starring actress Kate Jackson), Make Up Don't Break Up, Finding and Keeping Love for Singles and Couples (Revised edition Feb 2010, including DVD How to Fall in Love and Stay in Love for Singles and Couples), Can We Cure and Forgive Adultery?, Staying Not Straying, How Not to (S)mother Your Man and Keep a Woman Happy, and Financial Infidelity; The #1 Relationship Wrecker.

Dr. Bonnie has appeared on ABC's Good Morning America, a three-day series on NBC's The Today Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show five times, a four day series on Fox TV regarding dating. She appears frequently on ABC, Fox, CBS and NBC News, The View, 20/20, and CNN.

Her cutting edge skills have been featured in The New York Times, New York Magazine, USA Today, Cosmopolitan, Redbook, People and Ladies' Home Journal.

In her book, Make Up, Don't Break Up, Dr. Weil takes you step by step through a new understanding of relationships-the mysterious process of connecting, why men disconnect and how to educate them to reconnect/connect (Connectible by instruction)- to help you find and keep the lasting love you want.

Dr Bonnie's approach turns the conventional wisdom of finding and sustaining love- upside down:
# Men and women are more alike than different in their needs for love and intimacy.
# Why women should make the first move.
# Understanding your relationship with your parents is an essential step in finding and keeping love.
# Communication isn't everything - you can talk a relationship to death!

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful insights on protecting your relationship during money woes, July 29, 2009

By 

Rolf Dobelli "getAbstract" (Switzerland) - See all my reviews
(HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker (Hardcover)

She rushes to the mailbox to intercept the credit card statement and make sure that the incriminating information remains confidential. He receives a nice bonus check but blows it all at a bar after work. Lying to a partner about money is all too common. Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D., uses her 30 years of therapeutic experience to present a compelling study of financial deception and its impact on relationships. Attitudes toward money - even spending habits - are shaped during childhood. The trick is understanding them. Weil says adults who lack insight about their attitudes tend to perpetuate destructive behaviors that can harm their relationships. getAbstract believes that almost anyone can benefit from Weil's advice. She's right on the money.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Not as helpful as I hoped, January 26, 2010

By 

Shilom (MI) - See all my reviews
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Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker (Hardcover)

A lot of information is repeated throughout this book and so far it really doesn't get to the root of things. It seems more based on actual infidelity than financial, which is not my problem. I was hoping it would be more into money managing and dealing with those issues but it just isn't. What is about money is how to tell your partner your problem (which mine already knows), how to deal with the aftermath (which we aren't at, we are trying to avoid something that has an aftermath!) and how your money issues mirror those you're related to, something that I find pretty obvious. There are some helpful ideas and quizzes, but really not as much as I expected. I think I'd only recommend this to those who have had an affair or feel tempted to, as it has a lot of information on dealing with those issues and how they connect to money issues.

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Just okay, April 23, 2011

By 

Dr. Mary Gresham "Clinical psychologist" (Atlanta, Ga) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker (Paperback)

I recommended this book to a client because of the title. I then read it and found that many of the techniques and workbook type activities were somewhat unrealistic and superficial. Most are about creating a positive relationship which is good advice for a marriage in trouble but the Smart Heart talks were just not realistic unless you are also a therapist. Financial infidelity is a devastating and difficult crisis in relationships and can have more damaging effects than physical infidelity. The legal and emotional effects on the whole family can be overwhelming depending on the level of money trouble generated. Lifelong consequences to the children can be profound. I think this is helpful for a lesser financial infidelity like some overspending but not for some of the more devastating ones like raiding all the savings and investments, gambling with everyone's future and committing white collar fraud. I also was somewhat disappointed in the number of examples that showed women as the spending problem. There are certainly some gender effects but typically women will secretly spend on smaller items like clothing, jewelry, etc. while men can secretly take an enormous risk or spend on large ticket items like boats, cars, risky investments.
What I did like was the section on looking at family money history and how it affects us. The money genogram was a bit complex but one could easily simplify it and get a good picture of how the current situation fits with the money history in our families. I think this would be a good book if you are looking for some techniques to improve your relationship in general and to deal with smaller money betrayals.