Customer Reviews

Financial Infidelity: Seven Steps to Conquering the #1 Relationship Wrecker

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She rushes to the mailbox to intercept the credit card statement and make sure that the incriminating information remains confidential. He receives a nice bonus check but blows it all at a bar after work. Lying to a partner about money is all too common. Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D., uses her 30 years of therapeutic experience to present a compelling study of financial deception and its impact on relationships. Attitudes toward money - even spending habits - are shaped during childhood. The trick is understanding them. Weil says adults who lack insight about their attitudes tend to perpetuate destructive behaviors that can harm their relationships. getAbstract believes that almost anyone can benefit from Weil's advice. She's right on the money.

A lot of information is repeated throughout this book and so far it really doesn't get to the root of things. It seems more based on actual infidelity than financial, which is not my problem. I was hoping it would be more into money managing and dealing with those issues but it just isn't. What is about money is how to tell your partner your problem (which mine already knows), how to deal with the aftermath (which we aren't at, we are trying to avoid something that has an aftermath!) and how your money issues mirror those you're related to, something that I find pretty obvious. There are some helpful ideas and quizzes, but really not as much as I expected. I think I'd only recommend this to those who have had an affair or feel tempted to, as it has a lot of information on dealing with those issues and how they connect to money issues.

I recommended this book to a client because of the title. I then read it and found that many of the techniques and workbook type activities were somewhat unrealistic and superficial. Most are about creating a positive relationship which is good advice for a marriage in trouble but the Smart Heart talks were just not realistic unless you are also a therapist. Financial infidelity is a devastating and difficult crisis in relationships and can have more damaging effects than physical infidelity. The legal and emotional effects on the whole family can be overwhelming depending on the level of money trouble generated. Lifelong consequences to the children can be profound. I think this is helpful for a lesser financial infidelity like some overspending but not for some of the more devastating ones like raiding all the savings and investments, gambling with everyone's future and committing white collar fraud. I also was somewhat disappointed in the number of examples that showed women as the spending problem. There are certainly some gender effects but typically women will secretly spend on smaller items like clothing, jewelry, etc. while men can secretly take an enormous risk or spend on large ticket items like boats, cars, risky investments.
What I did like was the section on looking at family money history and how it affects us. The money genogram was a bit complex but one could easily simplify it and get a good picture of how the current situation fits with the money history in our families. I think this would be a good book if you are looking for some techniques to improve your relationship in general and to deal with smaller money betrayals.

Dr. Weil offers great advice for couples struggling with financial arguments. What so few recognize and what Dr. Weil brings to light is the impact of our parents and grandparents on our view of money. In an interview on Communication360 offers even more advice on money. TO listen to her show go to [...].

Lisa Mulford
Co-host
Communciation360
[...]

This book is amazing! I especially loved the section about the eight stages of love! I have used it with clients and they love it also. It is very helpful in terms of issues with relationships and money!