Financially Ever After: The Couples' Guide to Managing Money [Paperback]

Jeff D. Opdyke (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 31, 2009

Your Guide to Managing the Real Dollars—and the Real Emotions—of Your Relationship

Too often with money, couples face two choices: fight and risk making the situation worse, or keep quiet and risk making the situation worse. Financially Ever After offers a third option: family financial fluency—the insight, knowledge, and vocabulary every couple needs to communicate effectively about money.

Jeff D. Opdyke, previously The Wall Street Journal's syndicated "Love & Money" columnist, covers any and all financial issues that couples face, including budgeting, deciding on whether to have joint or individual accounts, dividing up family financial chores, confronting debt, making major purchases, as well as handling mortgages, employment, children, and even engagement rings. He offers dozens of real-life scenarios between couples, with scripts and suggestions for how to broach delicate money-related subjects with your significant other, whether he or she has a shaky credit history or is feeling left out of family financial decision-making.

The book also provides helpful tools to organize your financial life, such as a budgeting chart, a "scorecard" to track spending, and an "affordability calculator" to help you figure out how much buying a house will cost you.

A must-read for any couple starting out, Financially Ever After lays the groundwork for building a healthy and thriving financial life together.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Opdyke, Wall Street Journal columnist, offers a sensitive and sensible manual for peaceably handling marital finances. Many newlyweds have difficulty handling the transition from being an independent agent, who can overspend like mad or pinch every penny till it screams, to a partner working to manage joint finances—the communication issues that crop up are myriad. When inevitable issues of power, independence, self-esteem, security and control come into play, the resulting arguments or silent avoidance can lead to terrible financial mistakes. Opdyke gives clear advice on managing both the real dollars and the real emotions of personal finance that course through every relationship, including scripts for questions partners should ask about each other's financial history, and gives cogent, easy-to-follow plans for the division of financial duties, budgets, prenuptial agreements and home-buying, particularly in light of the credit crunch. With its compassionate and pragmatic tone, this book is invaluable for newlyweds with stars still in their eyes—and longtime couples struggling to balance the emotional with the financial and ensure a healthy, thriving life together. (Apr.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

About the Author

Jeff D. Opdyke has written about personal finance, family finance, and the investment markets for Tgiehe Wall Street Journal since 1993. He lives in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, with his wife, Amy, and their two children.

Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: HarperBusiness; 1 Original edition (March 31, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0061358185
• ISBN-13: 978-0061358180
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.4 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #841,191 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A big fan, my only regret is that I did not get this many years ago when I was first married., January 10, 2010

By 

Blaine Greenfield "eclectic reader" (Belle Meade, NJ) - See all my reviews
(TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Financially Ever After: The Couples' Guide to Managing Money (Paperback)

I am a big fan of Jeff D. Opdyke . . . he has written about
personal finance and the investment markets for THE WALL STREET
JOURNAL since 1993, and for six years he wrote that paper's
nationally syndicated "Love & Money" column.

So when I came across his latest book, FINANCIALLY EVER
AFTER (see also Section 2), I had to get hold of it in large part
because of its subtitle: THE COUPLES' GUIDE TO MANAGING
MONEY . . . my only regret is that I did not get this many years
ago when I was first married.

Back then, I alternated between the two options the author mentions:
I sometimes fought and made the situation worse; other times, I just
kept quiet and made the situation worse . . . what I did not know
was that there was and is a third option; i.e., family financial
fluency--the insight, knowledge and vocabulary every couple needs
to effectively communicate about money.

Opdyke covers just about all financial issues that two people in a
relationship will face, including budgeting, deciding whether to have
joint or individual accounts and confronting debt, as well as how best
to handle a mortgage, allowances (for adults and children) and even
engagement rings . . . he offers many real-life examples, several
of them based on his own personal life.

I particularly liked this heads-up he gave about entering into
any relationship:

* A bad sign to beware of is someone who complains regularly about the
bills that arrive, who receives numerous monthly statements from creditors
or who has to split a purchase across two or more credit cards because
the credit available on one card isn't enough. Remember: When you take a
partner into your life, you're also taking your partner's debt. While you aren't
responsible for paying it, you will still be subject to its influence on the
relationship, whether that influence manifests as a partner's stresses and
frustrations about always being in debt.

He also shared this useful rule to remember:

* Family finance works best, and stress is reduced the most, when both
partners know exactly what's going on with the money and where all the
accounts are located.

And, lastly, I appreciated the wisdom he shared on such basic
everyday decisions as buying a house:

* So how do you know if you're buying too much house?

Here's a clue: If your lender cannot qualify you for the home of your
dreams using a traditional, fixed-rate mortgage and, instead talks to
you about considering adjustable-rate or interest-only mortgages, you're
on the verge of living beyond your means.

12 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars warning to newlyweds!, April 11, 2009

By 

L (GAINESVILLE, VA, United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Financially Ever After: The Couples' Guide to Managing Money (Paperback)

While I think the author gives a great deal of sound advice, I vehemently disagree with him that newly married couples should pool their money, giving up the idea of his and her bank accounts. While in theory this is a good idea, it is naive. Although most newly married couples may *think* they know their spouses and obviously *believe* that they can be trusted financially, i would advise any newly married couple to take a "wait and see" response. IF after a few years, you newly beloved spouse has demonstrated fiscal responsibility, then sure, merge. But for many, merging bank accounts can, yes, contribute to divorce AND further financial ruin when formerly trusted spouse cleans out the account by making purchases which were not discussed not agreed to. I know this sounds terribly negative, but I too thought i had a good sense of my husband's financial habits but boy oh boy was I wrong and It cost me terribly. I say the fiscal trust has to be earned, and DEMONSTRATED, and not only because you've said "I do."

6 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Waste of money and time, May 21, 2009

By 

J. Vreeland "Jdubs2b" - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Financially Ever After: The Couples' Guide to Managing Money (Paperback)

What a complete waste of money this book was. It basically assumes you know nothing about your fiance before marrying him/her. It poses "questions" you should ask one another like 'what is your fiance's financial history?' or 'what is your fiance's thoughts about debt?'...if you don't know the answers already to these questions then you should not be entering into marriage in the first place. It also asks 'who should buy the ring?' I don't know what world this guy lives in that a girl would ever contribute to purchase her own engagement ring...that notion is unrealistic and silly. Do not buy this book, you will read ~20pages and put it down bc it insults your intelligence.