Customer Reviews

Financially Ever After: The Couples' Guide to Managing Money

5 star:		(1)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I am a big fan of Jeff D. Opdyke . . . he has written about
personal finance and the investment markets for THE WALL STREET
JOURNAL since 1993, and for six years he wrote that paper's
nationally syndicated "Love & Money" column.

So when I came across his latest book, FINANCIALLY EVER
AFTER (see also Section 2), I had to get hold of it in large part
because of its subtitle: THE COUPLES' GUIDE TO MANAGING
MONEY . . . my only regret is that I did not get this many years
ago when I was first married.

Back then, I alternated between the two options the author mentions:
I sometimes fought and made the situation worse; other times, I just
kept quiet and made the situation worse . . . what I did not know
was that there was and is a third option; i.e., family financial
fluency--the insight, knowledge and vocabulary every couple needs
to effectively communicate about money.

Opdyke covers just about all financial issues that two people in a
relationship will face, including budgeting, deciding whether to have
joint or individual accounts and confronting debt, as well as how best
to handle a mortgage, allowances (for adults and children) and even
engagement rings . . . he offers many real-life examples, several
of them based on his own personal life.

I particularly liked this heads-up he gave about entering into
any relationship:

* A bad sign to beware of is someone who complains regularly about the
bills that arrive, who receives numerous monthly statements from creditors
or who has to split a purchase across two or more credit cards because
the credit available on one card isn't enough. Remember: When you take a
partner into your life, you're also taking your partner's debt. While you aren't
responsible for paying it, you will still be subject to its influence on the
relationship, whether that influence manifests as a partner's stresses and
frustrations about always being in debt.

He also shared this useful rule to remember:

* Family finance works best, and stress is reduced the most, when both
partners know exactly what's going on with the money and where all the
accounts are located.

And, lastly, I appreciated the wisdom he shared on such basic
everyday decisions as buying a house:

* So how do you know if you're buying too much house?

Here's a clue: If your lender cannot qualify you for the home of your
dreams using a traditional, fixed-rate mortgage and, instead talks to
you about considering adjustable-rate or interest-only mortgages, you're
on the verge of living beyond your means.

While I think the author gives a great deal of sound advice, I vehemently disagree with him that newly married couples should pool their money, giving up the idea of his and her bank accounts. While in theory this is a good idea, it is naive. Although most newly married couples may *think* they know their spouses and obviously *believe* that they can be trusted financially, i would advise any newly married couple to take a "wait and see" response. IF after a few years, you newly beloved spouse has demonstrated fiscal responsibility, then sure, merge. But for many, merging bank accounts can, yes, contribute to divorce AND further financial ruin when formerly trusted spouse cleans out the account by making purchases which were not discussed not agreed to. I know this sounds terribly negative, but I too thought i had a good sense of my husband's financial habits but boy oh boy was I wrong and It cost me terribly. I say the fiscal trust has to be earned, and DEMONSTRATED, and not only because you've said "I do."

What a complete waste of money this book was. It basically assumes you know nothing about your fiance before marrying him/her. It poses "questions" you should ask one another like 'what is your fiance's financial history?' or 'what is your fiance's thoughts about debt?'...if you don't know the answers already to these questions then you should not be entering into marriage in the first place. It also asks 'who should buy the ring?' I don't know what world this guy lives in that a girl would ever contribute to purchase her own engagement ring...that notion is unrealistic and silly. Do not buy this book, you will read ~20pages and put it down bc it insults your intelligence.