Find Your Way Home: Words from the Street, Wisdom from the Heart [Paperback]

Becca Stevens (Author), The Women of Magdalene (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 1, 2008

Rules to live by, from inspirational women who have triumphed over despair and hopelessness.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

This little book begins with a brief introduction by Stevens, author of Sanctuary and founder of the remarkably successful Magdalene, a Nashville home for women overcoming drug abuse, prostitution and/or incarceration. Stevens describes the book as an open letter written to friends and strangers, inviting them to keep love alive and to offer it to others. In the spirit of the Rule of Benedict, the book articulates 24 principles that guide the Magdalene community in its effort to live graciously together. Each principle is a tiny chapter, exploring themes like coming together, showing hospitality, losing gracefully and loving without judgment. Each principle is followed by a woman's personal recollection of life before Magdalene, her experience with the community and sometimes advice or encouragement. Paradoxically, it is the particularity of these musings that evokes universality and brings the book alive. Even if readers do not share the history of abuse and extraordinary difficulties these women face, the rules and anecdotes speak to feelings of loss, the relief of love and the comfort of finding home. (Sept.) ""
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved."

Review

With honesty and urgency, Becca Stevens and her fellow pilgrims from Magdalene reveal the insights gained on their personal journeys to wholeness. --Gloria Gaither, Christian recording artist

In Find Your Way Home there are 24 rules...designed to provoke people into discovering that God loves you as you are right now. And that God loves the possibility within you. --The Most Rev. Dr. Katharine Jefferts Schori, Presiding Bishop, Episcopal Church

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 120 pages
• Publisher: Abingdon Press (September 1, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0687647053
• ISBN-13: 978-0687647057
• Product Dimensions: 5 x 0.4 x 7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #179,851 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Observe the Thistle March 25, 2009

By Jonalyn Grace Fincher

Format:Paperback

There are few short devotional books I like, even fewer that don't tweak my theologian side as being too wimpy for anyone who wants to think deeply about God. But a few weeks back I was sent a book to review and I'm happy to say that though it is short (you can read it in 1 hour) and devotional it is not theologically wimpy.

In December of 2007 I wrote a blog, "The Human Side of Prostitution: Five for Sorrow, Ten for Joy" reviewing a novel based on a real group of women, "The Sisters of Bethany", a unique Dominican Third Order of the Congregation of Saint Mary Magdalen. These were some wicked unique nuns, women who were previous felons, prostitutes, drug-addicts now committed to Jesus and transforming themselves and their culture. Reviewing Five for Sorrow, Ten for Joy was such a pleasure, because I knew behind the fictional story's inspiration were real women living out lives of redemption after imprisonment. But this was all long ago, an order founded in the 1860's in France.

Well, through this new devotional book, Find Your Way Home I have found a modern day group order of women, here in the United States who are very similar to these Sisters of Bethany. Founded in 1997 in Nashville, TN, Magdalene helps women who have come out of lives of prostitution and drug addiction. The women of Magdalene have come out of correctional facilities or the streets, they have survived lives of abuse, prostitution and are experiencing a no cost, safe, disciplined, and compassionate community in which to recover and rebuild their lives.

Magdalene is a two-year residential community founded not just to help culture but to create culture itself. Their story and rule for living is simply written out in Find Your Way Home: Words from the Street, Wisdom from the Heart. This short book was written by the Women of Magdalene with Reverend Becca Stevens, Magdalene's Founding Director in short chapters listing out their 24 Rules for living in community.

As I read through the 24 Rules, inspired by Benedictine values, that govern the women of Magdalene's lives I was reminded of several things.

Ready to Change Themselves and You

First, these are women who have taken the bold step of changing from abused and abusers to daughters of God. Their journey begins and ends with God. They firmly believe that love heals.

When Dale and I were in Seattle last month we visited a homeless shelter that helps men get off the streets. The founding director taught us something significant. He said he often hears men say, "I want to get off the streets." The director, a previous addict himself, will offer commiseration (it IS cold on the streets, isn't it?), he has learned that these words do not mean change is forthcoming. It's only when he hears them say, "I want to change my life," that his ears perk up.

Find Your Way Home holds many first person stories, staccato paragraphs of women who were ready to change their life. I read from their words about the cycle of poverty, how difficult it is for the homeless to forgive others and themselves. One woman admits to being invited to Magdalene multiple times, attracted because women from this groups were giving her bags of toiletries and snacks, treating her, a stranger, with love. "The problem was, I couldn't stay clean. It would take me almost another year to give up the drugs, but I am so thankful God didn't give up on me." This going-the-long-distance love is something most church-attenders and small groups would benefit from experiencing, even if just through reading this short book.

The women's honesty would blow open most nice Bible studies. Let me give you one glimpse in a woman of Magdalene's own words, "I know the sweetness of grief and the feeling of tears against my skin. I also know that I will still sacrifice just about anything to be accepted by a man. But knowing that my body and spirit are connected at least give me permission to treat my body and every other body in the world as a great gift from God."

Embedded Bible Verses

Second, while I found consistent Christian ideas peppered throughout the 24 Rules, I did not find any Bible-quoting nor any mention of Jesus. As an apologist for Jesus I thought this worthy of mention. I began taking note of specific Biblical ideas, delighted to find so many God-honoring, true ideas woven into the Rules for life and stories from women. This was the Bible made flesh in a community of women in Nashville, Tennesee.

Here are a few Bible ideas I found.

* "I have forgiven the man who abused me when I was a child. I can pray for him and hope for wholeness" an incarnation of Jesus' command to love your enemies and pray from them.
* "We are God's children in flesh and spirit" reminiscent of John 1:12-13
* "We give drink to the thirsty, food to the hungry, comfort to the sorrowful, clothing to the naked, and companionship to the imprisoned and dying. We wash one another's feet" all commands of Jesus.
* "In loving our neighbors we are meeting God" a version of Matthew 22:39 "love your neighbor as yourself" that feels slightly Hinduistic to me as we are not actually God, but we bear his image.
* "I knew that God had new plans for me" echoing Jeremiah 29:11
* "On my best days I know even this broken mess of a body is a temple of spirit" a version of I Corinthians 3:16 and 6:19 that says our bodies are a temple of the Holy Spirit.
* My favorite was "we know we are our sister's keepers" a reversal of Cain's avoidance, "Am I my brother's keeper?" in Genesis 4:9.

This spiritual sensitivity with hidden Biblical truths can be a useful guide to helping any person coming out of addiction. It outlines the importance of a Higher Power and prepares them to meet Jesus. Sharing spiritual truths without Jesus can, however, be a dead-end since Jesus' power is necessary to heal us, fully. I can see Find Your Way Home being a good start to spiritual conversations with a friend, especially if she is already concerned with social justice for women. It would be a great way to introduce someone to the Biblical ideas that have power to change real lives today. Just keep an eye out for the Biblical nuggets inside.

Setting up a Rule for Living

Third, this book would be a helpful guide for anyone attempting to set up a series of rules for guiding victims of addiction into healthy life. Inspired by the Benedictine rule, the women have developed guidelines for living with proven working power as they are the guide for everyday interaction and deep-seated community among the Women of Magdalene. Some of the 24 Rules particularly welcome to me like, "Unite Your Sexuality and Spirituality" a much-needed Jewish truth that we are made to be embodied souls, "Consider the Thistle", and "Walk Behind." The personal stories of women from Magdalene are proof that women are finding change, as one woman wrote, "It is not a problem to be lost. It is only a problem if you think it is impossible to find your way home."

Overall, Find Your Way Home made me very glad. Here is a group of women finding hope to leave addiction and find a home, a community, worthy work and meaning in their lives. If you're interested in helping the Women of Magdalene open more homes, you can buy this book as all the proceeds go to Magdalene, or you can visit their ingenious Thistle Farms, a non-profit company where women of Magdalene make all-natural body-healing products. I mean if you've every bought Bath and Body Works, you have to check them out. I've just put in my first order.

Next time I travel to Tennessee, I want to visit Thistle Farm named for that often overlooked flower that blooms where most would die.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Fruit of the Rule of Love March 22, 2009

By T. Haller

Format:Paperback

The Rule of Saint Benedict is commonly credited with being one of the instruments by which Western civilization was supported and maintained through some difficult times in its early middle age. The Rule's sanity, generosity, and above all, charity, are the means by which a community of persons can foster stability, through inward conversion from inordinate focus on the self towards living with and for others.

The remarkable elasticity of the Rule led to many adaptations and revisions -- and reforms -- down through the years. But I think that none even of the most ardent revisers or reformers would ever have conceived that an adaptation of the Rule would bring new life to scores of women who until that transformative encounter had been living on the streets as prostitutes and drug addicts. But as the old song says, grace is amazing.

A little over a decade old, Magdalene is a two-year residential and support community for women coming out of correctional facilities or off the street, from lives marked by abuse, prostitution and addiction. It began with the Reverend Becca Stevens, Episcopal chaplain at Saint Augustine's (Vanderbilt University). She conceived of creating a safe place for women, a place not merely as a house but as a home. We all know there is a difference, a crucial one.

We also know how sadly true it is for the church both to get and to give the second-best ("I'm buying a new microwave so I'll give the old one to the church..." You know how it goes.) Becca insisted that this whole would be a home properly furnished, with decent furniture and a real comfortable living room, and bedrooms with beds with clean sheets. It would also be located in a residential district; not just outside the prison doors or the city gates. Soon one house grew to two and then another, as those who lived there truly found new life. Magdalene has expanded to include programs helping male first-time offenders understand and come to terms with how demeaning their use of women is, and the harm they do in contributing to a brutal system. Thistle Farms, a nonprofit maker of all-natural body care products, was launched in 2001. It is named for the hardy plant that is the sole survivor on streets the women walked in their former lives -- and again in their new lives as angels of mercy helping other women to move from the old life to the new.

In Find Your Way Home the women of Magdalene recite their Rule and tell their story. In some ways reading this tender volume is like being present at a Greater Chapter, where by tradition the members of the Benedictine household would hear their Rule and reflect on it. True to Benedict's own injunction that the youngest shall be heard, this collection of voices reflects the range of participants in the Magdalene households.

A major feature of these households is that they are not "run" so much as lived in. Although there are staff and volunteer supporters, it is the women themselves who form the community and learn to work out their differences within that community by following the Rule and living into it. Such is its generous charity that women who had been hardened by abuse -- both by others and of themselves -- have found themselves transformed by love.

The Rule itself, broken down chapter by chapter into short segments, is a wonderful adaptation of Benedict's charitable and sane spirit. The reflections by the women of Magdalene that follow each section of the Rule form a powerfully moving recitation. Remember, for many of these women this will be the first time they have lived in a real home or experienced love from another person, or in some cases for another person. Imagine the experience of a woman fresh from prison being given a key to the front door and a room of her own with clean sheets on the bed. Well, you don't have to imagine -- her testimony is there for you to read. And it will move your heart.

I am tempted to cite other of passages but instead I simply urge you to obtain a copy of this short book. I began reading it on the subway on my way to a diocesan meeting and found tears running down my face as I read of the gratitude that woman felt on being given a key, as she knelt down to kiss the floor of her new home. There are many such moments of healing, thanksgiving, and transformation in this little book. It is a reassurance that God is at work.

The Rule of the women of Magdalene has something to say to us all as well. By that I mean all Christians, but particularly in these days of tension in the Anglican Communion, it is well to remember that Gregory the Great, who sent Augustine to England and so in some sense founded the Church of England, was an admirer and first biographer of Benedict. And so I will end this brief review with one of the chapters of the Rule to which I think it would do us all good to attend:

Chapter 8: Let God Sort It Out
In community our job is not to judge or say, "I told you so." We trust that God will sort things out, so we don't have to second-guess every decision someone else makes.
We are here to love one another in the most radical way possible, without judgment, and to pray that others can love us in the same way.
We give drink to the thirsty, food to the hungry, comfort to the sorrowful, clothing to the naked, and companionship to the imprisoned and dying. We wash one another's feet.

Couldn't the Anglican Communion learn something from the women of Magdalene? They have surely grasped an aspect of the life-saving, life-giving Gospel that many of us seem to have forgotten. It is not too late to learn from the thistle and its farmers, not too late to follow the example of the woman who loved much, rather than the Pharisee who sat in judgment.

-- Tobias Stanislas Haller BSG

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A must read April 1, 2009

By abyss2hope

Format:Paperback

Today is the first day of Sexual Assault Awareness Month and it seems appropriate to begin by reviewing a book which highlights a program making a difference in the lives of women who are too often dismissed as unworthy. This book highlights those women themselves by making their voices the heart of the book.

The book is Find Your Way Home: Words from the Street, Wisdom from the Heart by the Women of Magdalene with Becca Stevens.

The book arrived while I was getting ready for the Women, Action and the Media conference where I was scheduled to present a workshop on fighting sexual violence and even though I was eager to read it I didn't have time to do so until I was on the airplane. I read it from cover to cover and meant to review it immediately but again didn't have time to give this book the focus it deserves until today.

Too often books that highlight programs which help people are told only from the perspective of those who do the helping. The helpers are elevated far above those helped, but I didn't feel that stratification in this book.

Find Your Way Home has an introduction written by the founder of Magdalene, a residential community in Nashville, Tennessee for women who have survived lives of prostitution, violence and abuse. This intro provides valuable insight, but what makes this small but powerful book resonate are the words from the women who have stayed at Magdalene facilities. Their struggles are presented in a way that doesn't whitewash their past or their present challenges. It is their grounded hope, with the knowledge that hope isn't always enough, which makes this book something special.

The 24 principles of Magdalene are reflected in the 24 chapters of Find Your Way Home. This book can be read quickly or it can be read slowly since much of the book is made up of essays which can be as short as a single paragraph.

Too often my fellow Christians defend church leaders and other respected people accused of sex crimes by saying, "She's no innocent victim," as if that is a valid defense for a sex crime. This same statement is often used to defend doing nothing to help women like those who are served by Magdalene. Their attitudes made me shamed to share the label, Christian, with them. To me Christianity isn't about who you disdain, it is about who you serve. As I read Find Your Way Home it became clear that those who work to keep Magdalene alive share that belief in service which doesn't focus on elevating the person doing the serving.

This isn't just a book for Christians, it is a book for everyone who wants to help and doesn't know what they can do. Magdalene provides an example of practical and sustainable hope. It is a must-read for all those who have labeled certain girls and women as "no innocent victim."

The symbol of Magdalene is the thistle and was chosen because it is often disdained as a useless weed but is a flower which can bloom in the same tough conditions as the women who come to live at Magdalene. This reflects the cycle expressed throughout Find Your Way Home where being helped leads to becoming the helper.

The pervasive message in this book is that love in action is more powerful than the negative forces which often seem all powerful. That's a message all of us who sometimes feel too small to deal with injustice need to be reminded of.

Please go read the book.