Customer Reviews

Finding the Boyfriend Within: A Practical Guide for Tapping into Your Own Source of Love, Happiness, and Respect

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(20)

 

 

When I first found this book I had recently broken up with my boyfriend. This book, I thought, sounded like something that would help me over those post-relationship blues. Well, it did alright! I was too busy alternating between groaning at all the little "cutesy-isms" in the book, complaining at the over-simplifications and being generally angry about the number of trees that were chopped down to print the book. Frankly, it reads like a Cosmopolitan article in which the genders have been changed and pages of useless padding added. This book has about as much relevance to being gay as a paint-by-numbers set has to the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.

I read FBW as a lark--after having met Brad Gooch at a bar and then going on a dinner date with him while visiting NYC last fall. At dinner, we talked about his upcoming book, its premise, his recent bookcover "photo shoot", etc. Never once did Gooch ask me a question about myself. Now I read his book and understand why. It is as pleasant, shallow, narcissistic and self-absorbed as I found him to be. Just in case he reads this (which I have little doubt he will), he WAS attractive, but, as anyone who read the book can attest, he can tell you that.

Brad Gooch's "Finding the Boyfriend Within" is a huge disappointment.The text is badly organized and the style is rambling and beyond narcissistic. After reading it and performing all the little exercises, you're likely to find all you've got is a legal pad filled with various colored lists itemizing good and bad points about yourself.High school guidance counselor stuff really. The whole premise of the book is a canard...after applying the "FBW" technique to himself, all Gooch seems to have achieved is the ability to pamper himself a bit more than he already has. The book is overloaded with self-serving references to his fabulous good taste in brand-name merchandise. My favorite nugget of Gooch wisdom is on page 108.It's his advice on how to combat loneliness (while walking about town): "...take out my cellphone and line up a date...make dates until sated." Gooch assures us that modesty is not on his list of qualities, good or bad. After this book, I hope he adds hubris.

I read this book with an open-mind...yet my mind was forced to wander by about the second chapter where he endlessly talks about all of his "friends" in Upper Manhattan.

I think Gooch wrote this book to make himself feel better about himself! I didn't really leave with anything substantial to take away other than the fact that Gooch likes to eat at fine restaurants in New York, and likes lit candles near his bed. Is this a book or a dating ad?!!

I think the endless self-absorption in this book would also be a turn-off for future boyfriends (of the people who read this book).

Maybe the problem isn't necessarily one not knowing what our "inner boyfriend" wants, but concentrating too much on that entity.

Readers interested in a self-help book for gay men might be better off looking at "How to Survive Your Own Gay Life." I can only repeat what others have said about the book's vacuousness, narcissism, and lack of depth. The author and his boyfriend within deserve each other.

Awareness Exercise #1: You are about to meet the man you don't want in your life. Mr. Gooch is the perfect model of the man you DON'T want to meet. Just as in real life, the cover was attractive and the pages were shallow. What a disappointment.

The Great White Expanses between lines and the gigantic margins tip you off that this is not a "dense" book. I guess the reader is expected to take notes. Gooch's advice and chatter is akin to bar talk, three glasses of wine minimum. It's harmless stuff, but hardly anything one would expect of a middle-aged, mature gay man. Gooch tries, but his profound narcissism defeats him at every turn -- or mirror -- found in this book.

Whatever helpful advice this book might offer is almost completely overwhelmed by the author's shallow, materialistic, and status-conscious description of himself. Brad Gooch, as revealed in FINDING THE BOYFRIEND WITHIN:

"My research on this spiritual book was leading me down a winding road that included releasing toxins at the Chopra Center for Well Being in La Jolla . . . [and] attending a different church every Sunday. (My favorite was Saint Francis Xavier Roman Catholic church, because it had the cutest guys.)" (p. 14).

"In Awareness Exercise Four, I derived pleasure from noticing that my developed shoulders were as sturdy as a wooden coat hanger" (p. 68).

"Or one evening I'm feeling jet-lagged from a hard day at work and just want to nestle in front of the TV and watch an A&E biography of Jackie O, but a friend has made reservations at a trendy French restaurant with a stiff reservations policy" (p. 78).

"I did receive a rush from that purchase. And was pumped to go on to other stores: Kenneth Cole, Armani, Gap, Banana Republic" (p. 87).

"My filmmaker boyfriend was away for five months, working in Europe" (p. 130).

"The inspiration I was drawing on for my unwelcome suggestion during our dinner of scrambled tofu and steamed vegetables had occurred during my then-recent New Year's retreat at the ashram in the Catskills" (pp. 144-45).

"When my alarm clock goes off at 7:30 in the morning to rouse me to see my trainer, all I want to do is to press the snooze button" (p. 150).

I was intrigued by this book; at first I read a couple pages then put it down. Something about the book stuck in my mind and I returned 2 days later to purchase it. I was surprised that Brad writes of finding self-esteem and self-love so late in life (at 45 years old); however, better late than never. He reviews his dysfunctional thinking and lifestyle; then gives the reader a detailed story of how he discovered his dysfunctionalism and strived for a happy life filled with self-love, respect, and happiness. I was not impressed with the fact that he took so long to find inner happiness - AND this fact alone almost made me throw the book away; I mean, if he lived the dysfunctional life he describes in the book, why would I want to read his material. HOWEVER, I was very IMPRESSED with his 16 exercises, which alone are worth reading the book. I found these exercises lead the reader to "focus" on his "life and priorities". I am currently doing the first exercise (I read the entire book first) and it is very self-revealing. I would strongly suggest that Brad Gooch please listen to "In the Meantime" by Iyanla Vanzant" - this will help him along his road to happiness, love, and self-respect. Thanks Brad for a Gay Version of self-help. I could definitely relate to SOME of the things he wrote about, especially about the chaos with a messy house. Ciao!

Just a boring book. It's all about Brad. Didnt help me one bit.