Customer Reviews

Finding Contentment When Momentary Happiness Just Isn't Enough

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(0)
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1 star:		(1)

 

 

I have found it to be of tremendous value. His basic thesis is that contentment (as distinct from happiness) comes from living an authentic life. Such a life is marked by listening to:

-your internal messages, wishes, thoughts, wisdom and desires

-external influencing factors, such as people, experts and cultural guidelines

-your fundamental values, convictions and faith

Oddly enough, it's the first one that seems to cause most problems!

The problem: Many people have experienced chronic frustration. Happiness is real but transient, and we're left stomping around our home wondering what to do next, how to feel better and somehow 'fix' whatever is wrong. Neil mentions boredom, emptiness, channel surfing, job frustration, and demanding but unexciting spouses.

"Why is it that when we're confronted with something we don't want to do, we often remain silent? We do we move ahead with a decision, even though our inner world screams to do the opposite? What causes us to concede to others' wishes at the expense of our own?" (p80)

Somehow we have given away control of our lives and and cannot take possession of any internal messages. We can't work out our thoughts, feelings, needs, wishes and concerns. We don't know what we feel about an issue, and have to rely on others to tell us. Making solid decisions becomes impossible. Eventually one may sell out and ... "give over their personhood to some influential person or group of persons. If they finally give these 'choosing rights' over to someone else, a tragic personal event occurs. It is as though they commit emotional suicide. They give up on being who they truly are." (p 49)

Those other people may be a parent, boss, peer group, co-workers, team members, spouse or many others. The essence is that we become what others want, and are completely unable to be what we want, because we have no idea what that is!

Suggestion solutions: The book is well worth reading many times, as Neil hits upon many personal points that will stand out at different times. There are several steps and methods suggested, but they are based on getting to know your "inner world" i.e. get to know yourself; take control of your life according to values and principles and avoid the roadblocks to contentment.

This book helped me so much in my life and showed me how to deal with everyay life situations. I have read it front to back, and then gone back to it as a reference book. I have recommended it to many of my friends and family members.

Neil Clark Warren makes visible the importance of being truthful, not only to ourselves about ourselves, but to be truthful about ourselves to others; only then can we obtain the inner peace and contentment we so desperately seek. Within the pages of this book, you will examine your life and learn how to change the patterns that keep you from the happiness you diserve. Others authors I have read that speak of living an authentic life are Rev. Wayne Muller "How, Then, Shall We Live? and Neale Donald Walsh "Conversations with God Book II".

Once I started this book, I couldn't put it down. The author gently helps you pin-point your problem areas and sensitively points you in the right direction (to God). I loved the idea of imagining your mind as a control center and identifying who was really at the controls, then working to put God and you back into the control seat.

As a hospital chaplain and caregiver, Neil Clark Warren spoke to me in clear terms. I also felt he was a fellow traveler/struggler in the journey of life.

I am surprised by the high ratings of the previous reports, for I found the book to be very superficial. The main point of the book is that authenticity means to take control of your decisions, but it does not provide any real help about how to achieve this goal. The discussion is very naive and useless if you really have a problem. It may be of some use if you a strong believer, since the author builds a lot on christian values.

I was given the book just after finishing my Master's Degree in counseling and only read the 1st few chapters. I didn't pick it back up for 9 years, just happen to stumble upon it while searching through books trying to find some comfort and peace after having a miscarriage. The book reached out and grabbed me and helped me to find the peace I was searching for. Would highly recommend it to someone who keeps searching and hasn't found it yet.