Finding Forgiveness: A Seven-Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness [Hardcover]

Eileen Borris-Dunchunstang (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 24, 2006

An inspiring guide to healing the wounds left by loss and betrayal and finding your strength in forgiveness

Chronic hate and resentment not only sap our ability to experience happiness and to grow, they can also take a serious toll on our health and impede future relationships.

In Finding Forgiveness internationally acclaimed expert on conflict resolution and trauma recovery Eileen R. Borris-Dunchunstang outlines her proven, seven-step program for shedding your emotional baggage associated with loss, betrayal, or resentment. Modifying the techniques she uses to resolve international conflict to address personal issues, Borris-Dunchunstang gives you the tools to break free of anger and bitterness and find your path to healing.

Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

Free yourself from anger, pain, and the past

Have you ever felt betrayed, hurt, or wronged? Are you struggling to get over a nasty divorce, the death of a loved one, a shattered friendship, or broken family ties? This book will help you deal with conflicted emotions and find it in your heart to forgive. Written by Dr. Eileen R. Borris-Dunchunstang, an internationally known speaker on conflict resolution and trauma recovery, Finding Forgiveness offers a remarkably sensitive yet powerful approach to healing your heart, lifting your spirit, and finding the power to love, grow, and forgive.

The 7 Steps Toward Forgiveness

• Clear your mind of negative thoughts that get in the way of your happiness.
• Uncover your feelings of bitterness, betrayal, victimization, and blame.
• Let go of your anger and move on with your life.
• Work through your guilt and learn to forgive yourself as well as others.
• Reframe the situation that hurt you and restore your faith in others.
• Absorb the pain of the past without the need for apologies or revenge.
• Gain inner peace through newfound compassion, understanding, and acceptance.

"It is my sincere hope and prayer that the fundamental theme of this book--the importance of forgiveness--may be seen as effective not only in individuals' private lives, but equally in the arena of public and even international relations."

--from the foreword by His Holiness the Dalai Lama

A simple seven-step program to help you let go of anger and move on with your life

Alexander Pope said it best, "To err is human, to forgive divine." If you've ever been deeply hurt by someone or suffered through a painful ordeal, you know how hard it is to forgive and forget. Fortunately, you can free yourself from feelings of anger, bitterness, hurt, and blame by following the seven steps of Finding Forgiveness.

This illuminating and life-changing book guides you through the entire healing process. Written by Dr. Eileen R. Borris-Dunchunstang, a world-renowned speaker who has worked closely with the Dalai Lama and Deepak Chopra, Finding Forgiveness offers simple, proven strategies to release you from negative thinking and unnecessary suffering. It includes insightful self-exams, empowering exercises, and visualization techniques that will help you gain a new understanding of others--and yourself. You'll learn how to stop feeling like a victim, let go of old grudges, and replace the need for revenge with true compassion.

Ultimately, Finding Forgiveness is about changing the way you think. Once you learn to see people anew and reassess your own feelings, you will be able to:

• Say good-bye to anger, resentment, and guilt
• Come to terms with a difficult past
• Make peace with yourself and others
• Find a renewed sense of justice
• Embrace the power of love and forgiveness

Filled with inspiring true stories of people who managed to work through anger and become stronger in the process, this life-enhancing guide is your personal road map to the most rewarding journey you will ever take--a journey of self-discovery, understanding, and acceptance that will truly set you free.

About the Author

Eileen R. Borris-Dunchunstang, Ed.D., is an internationally renowned speaker and trainer in forgiveness, reconciliation, conflict resolution, and trauma recovery. Dr. Borris-Dunchunstang is the director of training for the Institute for Multi-Track Diplomacy in Washington, D.C. She has worked for the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID) and the United Nations Development Fund for Women (UNIFEM) and has conducted hundreds of workshops and seminars around the world.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (July 24, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0071474692
• ISBN-13: 978-0071474696
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.2 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #198,205 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Although I am a native New Yorker and have lived in different places on the East Coast I now live in Paradise Valley, Arizona with my Tibetan husband, one giant dog and three fun loving cats! I am a licensed clinical psychologist, political psychologist and educator/trainer. I divide my time between a private practice in Scottsdale, Arizona where I work with people who are having relationship or marital difficulties, want to learn how to forgive, or are dealing with illnesses such as cancer, and in Washington DC where I am the Director of Training for the Institute for Multi-Track Diplomacy in Washington DC. As Director of Training I work in areas of conflict around the world developing conflict resolution training programs with ethnic and regional groups in conflict incorporating forgiveness and reconciliation processes within the broader context of conflict resolution. I have been working extensively in this field for over 20 years designing and implementing programs in international conflict resolution, negotiation, dialogue and peacebuilding including processes of forgiveness, trauma healing and reconciliation. I have worked with Indian and Pakistani Kashmiri's and the Tibetan Government in Exile and have traveled to Pakistan, India, Nepal, the Middle East, Indonesia, and Tbilisi, Georgia. I have also worked for USAID and UNIFEM.

Because I feel so passionate about the power of forgiveness I became a professional speaker and have presented at many national and international conferences including the DPI/NGO conference at the United Nations covering topics in forgiveness and reconciliation, and the importance of healing wounds of the past as part of the work of conflict resolution. I am the author of, 'Forgiveness the Ultimate Freedom' published in six countries and 'Finding Forgiveness: A Seven Step Program for Letting-Go of Anger and Bitterness' published by McGraw-Hill.

Since 1995 I have been teaching courses in conflict resolution including forgiveness and reconciliation processes in emerging democracies, negotiation, international corporate diplomacy, cross cultural communication and multi-track diplomacy. I have taught in the International Studies Department at Thunderbird: The Garvin School of International Management, the Peacebuilding and Development Institute at American University and at the Institute for Conflict Analysis and Resolution at George Mason University.

In the mid 1990's I joined the Executive Committee of Division 48 - The Society for the Study of Peace, Conflict and Violence: Peace Psychology division of the American Psychological Association (APA) and was elected to serve on the Committee for International Relations in Psychology (CIRP) for APA. I am now a former past president of the Society for the Study of Peace, Conflict and Violence of the American Psychological Association.

I received my doctorate in psychology from Columbia University (1985), a certificate of advanced studies in Communicative Sciences from Johns Hopkins University (1980), and a master's degree from Columbia University (1972). I am a member of the International Society for Political Psychology, Psychologist for Social Responsibility, American Psychological Association - Peace Psychology Division, IONS and the Association for Humanistic Psychology

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Loving Approach to Forgivness, April 27, 2007

By 

K. Stromberg (Scottsdale, Arizona) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Finding Forgiveness: A Seven-Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness (Hardcover)

This book helped me immensely. I learned steps to forgive in ways that were helpful without blame. The stories of individuals in each chapter helped illustrate how to approach a very tough subject. And Dr. Borris' suggestions really made sense. A very powerful approach! I highly recommend it.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great book, May 17, 2007

By 

dc (virginia, usa) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Finding Forgiveness: A Seven-Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness (Hardcover)

It is no wonder to me why this book was choosen as one of the finalist for the "Books for a Better Life Award". Dr. Borris approachs a difficult subject with compassion and common sense. She is able to communicate the value of forgiveness to the forgiver without losing site of the pain the individual suffered.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars steps to forgiveness..., April 26, 2007

By 

Karen S. Walch - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Finding Forgiveness: A Seven-Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness (Hardcover)

This book provides a very practical stepped process to transform destructive emotions, extreme suffering, and trauma into a powerful sense of justice and love. This book outlines complex cycles of violence (both physical and psychological) and illustrates how they can be redirected to personal and collective courage and healing. The key, however, to this book is the need to participate in the rating system, uncover the grief, and heal the traumas through the discipline of the exercises and practices suggested.