Finding Hope When a Child Dies: What Other Cultures Can Teach Us [Paperback]

Sukie Miller (Author), Doris Ober (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 6, 2002

The death of a child is an overwhelming loss. "Why did my child die?" and "Is my child suffering now?" are questions that all people, of all cultures and backgrounds, ask. But characteristic of Western culture is a limited language for expressing grief, and a consuming guilt that undermines the recovery process. Dr. Sukie Miller, author of the landmark work After Death, turns to the beliefs and healing stories of other cultures to present a unique perspective that is both surprising and comforting. Sharing her research with a compassionate and grounded voice, she offers hope to those seeking meaning in what seems senseless, and heartening possibilities for returning to wholeness, even if we feel life cannot ever be the same.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

As in her previous work (After Death), Miller again looks to other cultures for inspirationAin this case for alternative ways to deal with the intense grief following the death of a child. A psychotherapist and founder of the Institute for the Study of the Afterlife, Miller repeats here to the point of redundancy that Judeo-Christian culture has "no language" for describing this grief. She recommends adopting the rituals of groups such as the Hindus, West African Yorubas, Native Americans and the Spiritists of Brazil to make up for what she perceives as Western inadequacies. Drawing on client case studies, Miller posits, for example, that the Baha'i belief in destiny can serve as an antidote to the tendency of parents to take responsibility for a child's death. Inspired by an Afro-Brazilian tradition, she further suggests that bereaved parents renew their faith by regarding the experience as an initiation that results in a deepened spiritual understanding of the loss. Although Miller's approach may be useful to some, others who question such concepts as communing with the dead and reincarnation will find little solace in it. Agent, Barbara Lowenstein. (Aug.)
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

Wingate Parkard The Seattle Times A comforting, thoughtful approach to the excruciating questions that grief churns up...the best book on parental grief I have ever seen.

Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D. author of Kitchen Table Wisdom Dr. Miller has written a book that will revolutionize our thinking and restore our hearts.

Howard K. Bell, M.Div. executive director of Pathways, a health crisis resource center, Minneapolis, Minnesota Impactful, spiritual, and enlightening. Sukie Miller's personal wisdom, clinical insights, engaging storytelling abilities, and findings from her innovative research are powerfully integrated.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 208 pages
• Publisher: Touchstone; 1st edition (August 6, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0684865610
• ISBN-13: 978-0684865614
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.6 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,714,739 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A very helpful and consoling work., July 25, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Finding Hope When a Child Dies: What Other Cultures Can Teach Us (Hardcover)

My son died 15 years ago and although I have gone on to live my life, I have never been free of the grief of this loss. Dr. Miller's book has helped create a context in which I feel a sense of hope possibility, and healing. I felt comforted by the ideas in the book and reccommend it highly to anyone who has lost a child or knows someone who has.

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars It makes you think of other culture's ideas on child death, August 17, 2000

By 

Dawn - See all my reviews

This review is from: Finding Hope When a Child Dies: What Other Cultures Can Teach Us (Hardcover)

I found this one to be very interesting. We tend to stay within our culture's views, and Miller enlightens our thinking. Some of it is a little strange compared to our culture's thinking. All the same, very interesting. I did not, however, read any of Miller's other books for the simple reason she has never had children. Her views are from a "textbook" point of view, very professional and well written. She speaks from the point of her patients, and people she has met throughout the world who have lost children. Textbook theories or not, a person cannot grasp how this truly feels unless they have had a child of their own die.

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Feeling hopeless? Be encouraged by this book., October 17, 2001

By 

Jen Mountney (New Lowell, Ontario Canada) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Finding Hope When a Child Dies: What Other Cultures Can Teach Us (Hardcover)

By learning about other cultures and their traditions, sometimes we can gain an insight into why we act the way we do. This book shows us that other cultures are more prepared for and accepting of death. When someone dies, the family is prepared which is more than we can say for North American culture and its inexperience with death.