Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship [Paperback]

Terri Orbuch (Author)

Book Description

Release date: June 1, 2012

Based on a groundbreaking 25-year study of marriage, divorce, and new love-finding the right one just became 100% possible. Whether you're divorced or separated, out of a long-term relationship, or newly dating after a long break, Finding Love Again will help you prepare for a healthy and fulfilling new relationship. Brimming with stunning original findings, first-person stories, and eye-opening advice, Finding Love Again shows you simple, practical strategies that have been shown time and again to help singles find someone special. Dr. Terri L. Orbuch, renowned relationship expert and director of a pioneering relationship study, shows you:

• Eight relationship myths that are sabotaging your love life.
• Why singles who have little or no contact with an ex's family find love at significantly higher rates than singles who keep in close contact with their ex-in-laws.
• How singles who make one change to their daily routine-and stick with it for at least 21 days-are twice as likely to find new love.
• Why the happiest couples in new relationships are the ones who don't share bank accounts.

Finding Love Again shows proven strategies that can help anyone find love again.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"For anyone whose romantic life is in a state of transition, Dr. Orbuch's research-backed, data-driven advice will enable them to turn the corner from in-between to in-love again." - Ian Kerner, CNN Health columnist and NY Times best-selling author of She Comes First

"Loved Finding Love Again! So reassuring, knowledgeable and practical. Divorce is painful and most people need help putting the past in the past and understanding how best to enter a new future. Based on clinical and research experience, this guide to loving again details how to re-approach a new relationship based on the firm footing of Dr. Orbuch's clinical and research experience. There is so much good information and support in these pages- --I highly recommend it!" - Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., Professor of Sociology, the University of Washington, and author of Prime

"Finding Love Again defuncts the relationship myths you grew up with to help you move forward with your love life and leave the past behind." - Julie Spira, online dating expert and bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating

"If you´ve fallen off the relationship horse and been afraid to get back on, fear no more. Terri L. Orbuch, Ph.D., guides you lovingly and knowingly through the challenges of climbing back into the saddle of relationships, and this time you´ll have all the tools you´ll need to keep riding high. I´ve been studying marriages and relationships for most of my career, but I am always pleased to find there´s something new to learn from Terri´s books." - Scott Haltzman, MD, psychiatrist and author of The Secrets of Surviving Infidelity

"In Finding Love Again, Terri L. Orbuch, Ph.D., uses findings from her decades-long landmark study of newly married people to offer a plethora of useful advice on coping and renewal to singles recovering from divorces and relationship break-ups...this book is a gift that singles and their loved ones will want to share and keep handy, as Orbuch and her work offer one antidote to the flux in close relationships that shows no signs of abating in the 21st century." - John H. Harvey, Professor of Psychology, Emeritus, University of Iowa

""Orbuch helps readers understand why men and women are hardwired for conflict, why communication is important in every relationship, and why committing to any change in one's daily routine for 21 days can help find new love... A Great starting place for anyone reentering the dating arena."" - Library Journal

Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Sourcebooks Casablanca (June 1, 2012)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1402265670
• ISBN-13: 978-1402265679
• Product Dimensions: 5.4 x 0.8 x 8.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #291,697 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

20 of 22 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Wow. A Fantastic Book. June 17, 2012

By CorgiGirl

Format:Paperback

Let me say one thing right off the bat: I've had the WORST luck with relationship books. Most of the books I've read have been cotton candy fluff (think: "Why in the world did I spend money on this?!"), are based on the author's love life (which, of course, is never like my own love life--duh), or dish out advice that never works in the real world. (Like Cosmo's "how to nab him" advice for 20-year-olds. Which doesn't work when you are almost 40. Sigh.)

So, when I heard about this book on the radio, I was skeptical. But there was something about Dr. Orbuch's interview that kept me listening. She was fun. Compassionate. And then she said the one thing that sealed the deal: her book is based on a scientific study. A twenty-five year study of relationships, to be exact. For me, that was the clincher. I'm almost embarrassed to admit this, but I ran out to buy her book the very next day. I figured I would either be doing the walk of shame (if the book was terrible), or I'd finally be on to something.

If I had to pick one word to sum up this book, I'd say that it's empowering. Pure happiness. A relief. OK, so maybe that's more than one word, but you get the idea. I can't begin to describe what these 244 pages have done for me.

First, this book showed me that so much of what I've thought and believed about relationships is, well, totally off-base. For example, those other books that tell you to "put it all out there" when you first start dating someone? That's actually the worst thing you can do. (Dr. Orbuch tells you why.) She also explains why we're drawn to the same "type" again and again, and she reveals some pretty shocking truths about men, women, and love. As I got deeper into the book, I started to recognize crash-and-burn moments from my past relationships (and how I could have avoided them)--and I began to see why my dating life has been a disaster. But I also saw that I could fix it! It's like a giant light bulb went off over my head.

The myth busting at the beginning of the book is fascinating. But the best part of the book, really, is that it lays out a complete plan for getting into a HEALTHY relationship. If you haven't dated for a while, like me, or feel like you've lost "you" in your past relationships (sound familiar?), the thought of dating can be exciting--but come on, it's also a little terrifying, right?

Dr. Orbuch guides you through it all with six steps, a lot of self-discovery, and plenty of stories that will make you nod your head, smile, and think to yourself, "Hey, I'm not alone in this after all!" I just finished Step #2, which is about emotional baggage. I've never thought of myself as having a lot of baggage, but I took Dr. Orbuch's quiz and...yikes! Turns out, I had a LOT of baggage to ditch. Right now, I am working on Step #3, the 21-day action plan. And, I've already tried out some of the dating advice from Step #5. Ding ding ding. Success!!! I finally feel hopeful again about the future. Thank you, thank you, Dr. Orbuch. I can't recommend this book enough.

10 of 11 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Lasting Love is for everyone who wants it June 19, 2012

By Diva's Who Read

Format:Paperback

Through my work with Divorce Recovery Today, I've worked for many years with men and women who have been through divorce or difficult relationships, who feel as though they will never find "true" love again because it only comes around once in a life time. "The Love Doctor" in Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship proves them wrong. You can find love again. It might take a little time and work but in the end, it is worth it! This book is for everyone. Regardless of what end of the pendulum you are on; newly divorced/widowed or single for many years, read this book. It will give you the tools you need to "get back out there" and find the love YOU deserve.

10 of 11 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars The Book I Want All My Friends to Read! June 7, 2012

By PGB

Format:Paperback

I was a huge fan of Dr. Terri's last book, "5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great." I actually bought that book for several married girlfriends. With this new book, about how to find love again after divorce or the death of a spouse, I feel as if Dr. Terri is writing for my demographic. I know so many recently single 50-something women who have given up because they think it's too late, or that guys only want to date younger women, or they have a lot of fear about how to get back into the dating scene. This describes 5 out of the 7 women in my book group, so I'm thinking about making this my book choice for the group next month! (Note that the book is written for both genders, however.)

I absolutely love (once again) Dr. Terri's reassuring advice and really practical tips. I was particularly thrilled with the third step, which shows why making just one small change greatly increases your odds of repartnering success. Of course! Makes sense! But now I tell all my single friends that they can double their chances of meeting a new "Mr Right" by biking to work instead of driving, or by starting tennis lessons. When I explain the science behind it, as Dr. Terri does with this and all of her tips, they "get" it.

There's also a really valuable section on how to get rid of emotional baggage that's keeping you from being attracted or attractive to others. Golden advice and strategies.

As you can tell, I'm obsessed with Dr. Terri. I think she's got the appeal of Dr. Phil but with a practical, scientific mind and a woman's sensibilities. Smart smart smart.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who is getting over a serious relationship and feels lost or hopeless about meeting a new soul mate. Put yourself in Dr. Terri's hands. Her book will literally walk you through the steps you need to take to find love again.