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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Comprehensive Guide for The 40+ Dater
Danks offers a very comprehensive guide to dating today, especially geared to people who are dating again after many years. You may well discover an approach you never thought of. He is very encouraging for those who need it and offers tremendous detail about being successful with online dating, not too surprising since this is how he met his wife. Having recently...
Published on July 7, 2010 by Joanne Deck

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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars This book and I are not a perfect match.
*NOTE* - The author contacted me and asked me to read and review his book.

This book really rubbed me the wrong way, and I started feeling a sense of dread every time I thought about continuing on. First off, the author is a business administration professor and through life experience, felt he could write a book on dating advice for women. I've been through a...
Published on August 15, 2010 by Jana @ That Artsy Reader Girl ...


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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars This book and I are not a perfect match., August 15, 2010
This review is from: Finding The Right Man For You: Dating Advice for Women (Perfect Paperback)
*NOTE* - The author contacted me and asked me to read and review his book.

This book really rubbed me the wrong way, and I started feeling a sense of dread every time I thought about continuing on. First off, the author is a business administration professor and through life experience, felt he could write a book on dating advice for women. I've been through a TON of stuff relationship-wise including abuse of all kinds and more heartbreak than most people do. I've seen very close friends go through awful pain and anguish. That does not mean that I am qualified to write a book on it, even if I do speak to "over a dozen female advisors."

One thing that really bothered me was at the end of a small section in his introductory chapter. It says, "If you want to find a man, something's got to give. First, you have to get real with your requirements." I hate that. No woman should have to settle for less than she wants. Now yes, if she wants a man with brown eyes and won't give the green-eyed hunk of burnin' love the time of day she needs to reevaluate. The author does not make this clear, though. He makes you feel like you're being too fussy. You're not. I'm not. I ask for a lot in Mr. Right, but I deserve it. There are fundamental things he and I have to have in common or it will never work no matter how much love is there. Believe me, I've tried.

He also mentions improving your looks, namely losing weight. I've been asked to read other dating books and this is the first one that spells out, "lose weight." That bothered me too. Why can't a woman be loved for who she is? If a man approaches you only because of how you look, you don't want him. Maybe this was mentioned because the author was male, but still. It's not worth mentioning in a book like this. Any woman who needs to lose weight, I'm sure, is very very aware of it and is either doing what she can or loving herself for who she is regardless. Heck, many women out there who feel they should lose weight don't need to. The media has created a mold that society seems to think is the only way to look. I know some very large women who have amazing marriages and amazing lives. I also know some drop-dead gorgeous women who have never been in serious relationships.

The dating game is made out to be a game. There's almost a checklist in here for how to find the right man, and it's written in such a matter-of-fact way. It's like sitting in a circle at a slumber party and asking your group of friends what to do to catch that man. It's just not professional. He also quotes a lot of people. He says it's because he wants to reinforce his points, but I think it's almost because he can't enforce them on his own. I was always taught to not use many quotes in my writings because it turns my work into a compilation of the works of everyone else. It steals your credibility and gives it to those who already have it.

Finally, the author says this. "Sometimes the problem isn't with the man though. It can be with women too." First off, that passage is grammatically incorrect. Second of all, this begins the blame game (which is not necessary. Obviously the reader is reading because she wants to know what to do. She does not need to be told she's doing something wrong. She needs to be given good advice.) Thirdly, it's so casual. The author does not establish any credibility by speaking so casually.

I could keep going on, but I'll stop here. I think everyone gets my point. This book and I are not a perfect match.

In the end, I think I have a hard time with this book because I have a completely different belief system than the author. I believe there is someone out there for everyone. You should not have to change yourself or your standards to find him. He'll be right for you because you're right for him. You don't have to work to make him love you. I believe that you have to become the person you want to be with and you have to love yourself. Put yourself in places where the kind of man you want to be with will be and then just believe that whatever happens happens for a reason.

I can't recommend a book I so strongly disagree with. I can't give a raving review either. Like I said, the author was very nice and I think he has a genuine desire to do good. I also think he might not be qualified to give such advice, though, and it shows in his writing. To me, it felt like reading a letter from a dad addressed to his daughter. It would mean a lot to get something like this from a caring father, but not from a stranger who got tired of teaching his business class.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Comprehensive Guide for The 40+ Dater, July 7, 2010
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This review is from: Finding The Right Man For You: Dating Advice for Women (Perfect Paperback)
Danks offers a very comprehensive guide to dating today, especially geared to people who are dating again after many years. You may well discover an approach you never thought of. He is very encouraging for those who need it and offers tremendous detail about being successful with online dating, not too surprising since this is how he met his wife. Having recently dated after many years and also written a book from the experience, I agree with much of his advice, particularly around trying lots of different methods.

I do think online dating works better for men who are serious about having a serious relationship than it does for women, because most women on these sites are serious, where many men are not. I also found Danks' advice about dating younger men a bit naive. It's not the women who need to be encouraged to date younger men, but the men who need to accept dating an older woman. I had much better luck meeting men within five years of my age either way in person than I did online, because in person they thought I was ten years younger than I am. Generally speaking, I found most men want to date younger women, so when younger men saw my age, they didn't initiate contact or reply.

Ladies, these are not major points. Read this book and use his ideas. If you want to date someone about your age, just try to keep your age confidential (but don't lie, that never works).
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Very insightful, July 7, 2010
This review is from: Finding The Right Man For You: Dating Advice for Women (Perfect Paperback)
If you just look at the title and assume this book will solely focus on how to find the right man, you're doing yourself a disservice. This book is so much more than that. While not every chapter applies to me at this stage of my life, I could very well see myself referring to it in the future if my situation were to change.

I would recommend this book to anyone who is single. Not only is this an honest and well researched book, but it is well rounded and insightful in the information it supplies, not just in finding the right man, but taking the time to evaluate what you really want, and if you're happy single, there is nothing wrong with that.

It seemed like a fair amount of the book covers internet dating, which in today's world seems to be the way to go, although I have to admit, I haven't been brave enough to try it (although admit to a lot of snooping). However, I feel that Mr. Danks discusses it in such a complete and honest way, it doesn't seem to be as scary or have the stigma as I thought and I may just have to give it a try.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Good Help for Good Hunting, June 16, 2010
This review is from: Finding The Right Man For You: Dating Advice for Women (Perfect Paperback)
This book has insights and excellent strategy tips for anyone in search of romance. One of the major benefits is the research Mr. Danks has done in other books such as books on positive attitudes in life, as well as relationships. You can get excellent distillations of a great many other books through his reading.
I found the book extremely helpful in many ways, a great overview with a balanced approach, and a man's point of view, as well. This is a book I would (and have) recommended to my friends who are also between relationships and hopefull of finding the right man. Mr. Danks has done his research and bringing his own personal experience into the mix makes it all the more relevent. I really enjoyed the book. Jo Ann Wright
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A very highly recommended reading for women of all ages, June 10, 2010
This review is from: Finding The Right Man For You: Dating Advice for Women (Perfect Paperback)
The urge to find a mate is deeply rooted into human biology. But there's more to the selection process than simple lust or ticking biological reproduction clocks. The finding of just the right partner to go through life with is often more than just a one time task, but can be a necessity imposed by divorce or the death of a spouse. There are a wealth of 'how to' and 'what to do' books available to women seeking dating advice. What makes "Finding The Right Man For You: Dating Advice for Women" stand apart from the crowd is that its author, Lawrence J. Danks, offers a male perspective as he gives a wealth of insightful, practical, and useful advice on dating. Especially when the dating process is complicated by children, work, and health issues. Of special note is Danks' counsel on how to detect and avoid men who misrepresent themselves. Enhanced and illustrated with anecdotal stories and inspired quotations, informed and informative, and thoroughly 'user friendly', "Finding The Right Man For You: Dating Advice for Women" is a very highly recommended reading for women of all ages and situations who are seeking to find just the right man for them!
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3.0 out of 5 stars Finding The Right Man For You: A Solid Dating Guide For Women, July 27, 2010
This review is from: Finding The Right Man For You: Dating Advice for Women (Perfect Paperback)
"Finding the Right Man For You" by Lawrence Danks, is a plain-spoken book advising women on how to spot a great mate. The book gives advice to women from various relationship backgrounds: widows, divorcees, or those fresh out of a really bad break-up. The book is chocked full of pop-culture references used to illustrate the author's points.

Although every age demographic is addressed, the book is probably more suited to the older woman. The author himself points out that younger women have an advantage in attracting a larger pool of men than their aged comrads.

The advice given is based on common sense - things most of us really should know but still find it necessary to seek reminders. Some of Danks advice, however helpful, overlooks unique challenges women face when entering the dating game. If you're coming out of a relationship, you may enjoy the practical re-enforcement the book supplies.
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2.0 out of 5 stars Useful but patronising, January 19, 2013
This review is from: Finding The Right Man For You: Dating Advice for Women (Perfect Paperback)
Danks book gives women a detailed guide to dating especially if dating after divorce or years of being single. The book is written in a lot of detail and is especially focuses on online dating which he has a lot of experience with. He also encourages women to try a lot of different dating methods which I agree with.

There is quite a lot of emphasis on age and I felt a bit uneasy about this focus and not sure I entirely agree with Danks. Also, I did feel a resistance to getting `advice' from a man who surely would not have any idea what it means to be a women, and the trials and tribulations of growing up female in a patriarchal society. So I did feel a bit patronized and some of the wording laid the blame for loneliness squarely at the feet of women when life is surely a little more complicated than than and a traumatized woman may not feel supported by this author if she journeys through the book feeling vulnerable.

So, I would advise anyone reading this book that it is a practical book with some useful ideas for dating but may also be challenging emotionally. On the other hand having a male perspective was sometimes very useful especially when rooting out dodgy men!
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1 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Finding The Right Man For You: Dating advice For Women, May 29, 2010
By 
Elaine M. Fuhr "Reviewer" (Edmonton, Alberta, Canada) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Finding The Right Man For You: Dating Advice for Women (Perfect Paperback)
Larry Danks, a sixty-four year old business administration professor, has experienced a second marriage, and through that experience, has developed considerable insight into the dating scene. And along with the contributions of over a dozen female advisors, he understands more now, about how women try to find the right man. He also realizes that for some women, there is no need to find that partner; living alone is a fine choice. But for those who feel alone and want to have the companionship that a relationship will give, he has written a sensitive book that is meant to help women do just that. He uses quotations from various authors and specialists throughout his book, to support the ideas that he puts forward.
As I read through the pages, I realized that while this book is aimed at a female audience, there is a great deal of very good advice for anyone, male or female. Topics include Evaluating Your Situation, Life After the Death of a Partner and Online Dating Sites; information useful to everyone looking for a partner, especially after experiencing past relationships. And who couldn't use a little advice on Defeating Hurt and Anger? This book truly has information for everyone.
So pick up Finding the Right Man For You, drift through the well written pages and take note of the insightful advice given there. It is a book worth reading.

RECOMMENED

Reviewer: Elaine Fuhr, Allbooks Reviews
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Finding The Right Man For You: Dating Advice for Women
Finding The Right Man For You: Dating Advice for Women by Lawrence J. Danks (Perfect Paperback - June 1, 2010)
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