Finding Time For Fatherhood: The important considerations men face when they become parents [Paperback]

Bruce Linton (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 10, 1998

The twenty essays in Finding Time for Fatherhood express the important concerns men encounter when they become parents. Each chapter is followed by three questions for further self-reflection and discussion.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

"The birth of a child opens the doorway to discovering the nurturing qualities within us as men. These discoveries not only benefit our children, our partners, and ourselves, but create a new potential for the society we live in." So says Bruce Linton, Ph.D., author of Finding Time for Fatherhood: The Important Considerations Men Face When They Become Parents. Linton, a counselor and psychotherapist who specializes in fathering issues, runs fathering classes, counsels fathers, and writes about his own experiences as a father.

While Linton's essays are thoughtful and fascinating in their variety (they range from revisiting the Oedipus myth, to looking at the men's movement, to examining the role food and meals play in the family, to discussing sex and fatherhood), it is his final essay, "What My Son Taught Me About Being a Man," that most effectively captures his vision of what it means to grow up male, and to be a father. This moving account traces his life as an equal partner in his son Morgan's upbringing. He also details his experience teaching a group of his 9-year-old son's peers that "real men" care for their friends' feelings. Such touching anecdotes convince readers that, at least where fathering is concerned, change is in the air--the old-fashioned, hands-off father is on the way out. This small, vital collection of essays is a welcome addition to the growing body of fathering literature, and will be valuable to men at all stages of fatherhood. --Ericka Lutz

Review

Readers looking to monitor how modern men think about parenthood should take a look at Finding Time for Fatherhood, a book of essays by Bruce Linton, Ph.D., Berkeley-based founder of the Fathers' Forum. The 20 essays in this volume run the gamut of men's concerns with fatherhood, including: sex and parenthood, a mate's pregnancy, educating children, sports and gender roles, and relationships with one's own father. Linton writes from the heart, and although he is very much a Bay Area dad in his take on most his topics, he's never afraid to express a view that doesn't quite fit in with political correctness. -- Parents Press, The Monthly Newspaper for Bay Area Parents, Berkeley, CA., Summer 1998.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 112 pages
• Publisher: Fathers Forum Pr; 1 edition (April 10, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0964944103
• ISBN-13: 978-0964944107
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.4 x 0.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,095,323 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This is the book to buy this Father's Day for Dad!, May 17, 1999

By 

Major Bernard "Jon Runner" (San Antonio, TX United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Finding Time For Fatherhood: The important considerations men face when they become parents (Paperback)

If you could only give one gift this father's day, I recommend Bruce Linton's book Finding Time for Fatherhood. Dr. Linton's book ranks with what I think are the three top books on fatherhood today. The other two are The Gift of Fatherhood, by Dr. Aaron Hass, and Seven Effective Tools for Successful Fathers, by Dr. Ken Canfield. I am an African-American father working on my Ph.D. in education. I am specifically concentrating on the area of fathering. I've been writing a weekly dad's column for the past five years. Father of two boys, anything I can get to help me be a better father and help me understand manhood and fatherhood better is a welcomed addition to my collection. Dr. Linton's book is a recent addition as he gets underneath the importance of "finding time for fatherhood." His book is not inundated with empirical studies, it's written in a style that is designed to make men feel comfortable about getting in touch with their feelings. They need to know that it's okay to be sensitive. It's okay to live "in" today. It's okay to be nurturers. Linton's book, a collection of essays, poignantly describes his struggles as well as the struggles of other men who are trying to be something they were not taught to be---nurturing fathers. His essays discuss in very layman terms how important it is to love their mother, how important it is to live in the here and now, how important it is to talk to other fathers about fatherhood. All these ideas he talks eloquently about how they are essential in helping men become better men, and better fathers. The chapters are brief. He includes questions at the end of the chapters for fathers to contemplate what they can do. Reading chapter a day just before going to bed is an easy task to accomplish, and the benefits are a better understanding of the role of fathers, but also a better understanding of the role of being an active and involved parent who happens to be male. Using various analogies and anecdotes, Linton discusses how society works against fathers trying to be involved. In one scenario, he shares how a grandmother who sees him in the park after learning he has chosen to work only part-time just so he can be with his kids still doesn't understand his commitment to the role of father. The grandmother still hopes he will find regular work. It is perceptions such as these Linton talks about that leads to fathers understanding how entrenched the perception they have to work against is, but not something they can't overcome. One of the best chapters is how he talks about learning things from his nine year old son. After reading this book, my perception about fatherhood was greatly enhanced and modified. It's book to be read, re-read, and shared with other fathers. [e-mail], AKA "Jeremy's Dad

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This is the perfect book for all fathers and fathers-to-be!, July 1, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Finding Time For Fatherhood: The important considerations men face when they become parents (Paperback)

Bruce Linton's "Finding Time for Fatherhood" is a gem of truth, wisdom, and most of all compassion for the challenges that a father faces in today's world. As the father of a 10- year-old son and a 13-year-old daughter, I intended to give this book to my brother, who is expecting his first child. However, I ended up getting another copy for myself, because it became clear to me that this is a book that I will want to keep near and return to many times over, for inspiration and guidance in those times when I'm feeling overwhelmed by the anxieties and responsibilities of parenthood. This book was an acknowledgement of all the best intentions I have ever had toward my children, and at the same time a reminder of how much further I have to go. Probably like many fathers of my generation, I take for granted that I will be a better father to my son and daughter than my father was to me. According to the author, 95% of us attend the births of our children, versus 5% in 1965. We participate in childbirth classes, coach our wives through the delivery, and generally feel superior to our parents' generation in how much we are involved in what used to be a woman's exclusive world. Once the reality of fatherhood sets in, however, we discover that the real challenge is not so much a matter of measuring up to an ideal image of what a father should be, but the much more difficult problem of shifting our own priorities and making room in our lives for our roles as fathers. Dr. Linton demonstrates through examples from his personal experience as a father how uncomfortable this can be at times, yet how thoroughly rewarding in what that commitment ultimately can mean to our children, our spouses, and ourselves.

This is a great little book - personal, conversational, and inspirational. Behind the gentle delivery is a powerful call to action for every man: Find the time to be a father to your children! In a modern-day career-driven social environment that prides itself on 16-hour workdays, stock options, and "cashing out" in your forties, being a Father competes with nearly everything, and yet when it comes to what is truly lasting, satisfying, and ultimately fulfilling in life, there is nothing else so rewarding.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars One of the most meaningful fathering books available!, March 12, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Finding Time For Fatherhood: The important considerations men face when they become parents (Paperback)

As the father of a two-year-old son, I have read a dozen books on fathering in recent months, and Bruce Linton's Finding Time For Fatherhood is my favorite. Why? A new generation of men understand that fatherhood requires more than being an economic provider. Their desire to be involved, nurturing parents reflects a fundamental shift in male identity. They want more from life than a pay check and a promotion. They want meaning and purpose, and there is no greater contribution to the world than raising a healthy and happy child. Dr. Linton raises important issues concerning values and the father's inner experience. He writes simply and honestly, as only one who has truly lived and integrated the material can do. On several occasions he shares feelings that I, as a new father, feared were unique to me, which was reassuring and affirming. You can read this book in one evening, but the thoughts and feelings in it will stay with you for weeks. Highly recommended.

--Jerry M. Ruhl, Ph.D., co-author with Robert A. Johnson of Balancing Heaven and Earth (HarperSanFrancisco, 1998) and Contentment: A Way to True Happiness (HarperSanFrancisco, April 1999).