Finding True Love in a Man-Eat-Man World: The Intelligent Guide to Gay Dating, Sex. Romance, and Eternal Love [Paperback]

Craig Nelson (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 1, 1996

Nelson draws both on his interviews with other men and on his own experiences in the gay dating scene to present this revealing and often humorous guide. From breaking down psychological blocks to surviving a breakup, Nelson explores the key issues in gay male relationships and the baggage left over from adolescence.

Product Details

• Paperback: 320 pages
• Publisher: Dell (January 1, 1996)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0440506891
• ISBN-13: 978-0440506898
• Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 0.7 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #354,140 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

36 of 41 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Shallow coverage of dating and sustaining a relationship, October 8, 2002

By 

Chris (Buffalo, NY United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Finding True Love in a Man-Eat-Man World: The Intelligent Guide to Gay Dating, Sex. Romance, and Eternal Love (Paperback)

Although any reader can glean some helpful information from this book, it is best suited for those who prescribe to an open relationship and feel comfortable in meeting guys at bars and sex clubs, and through phone sex and personal ads. I do not recommend this book to those who are searching for genuine depth in their relationships, and expecially not to those who desire a monogamous relationship. The book insufficiently covers the necessary communication and relationship skills and insights into understanding others that is so necessary for sustaining a lasting relationship.

Potential readers should be advised that Nelson is not a professional in the field of counseling or relationships. Nelson fails to clearly present and properly document his sources in what appears to be his attempt to persuade the reader to his bias views. While some may find Nelson's gay cynical humor entertaining, others may find it irritating. By discounting, although not all, of heterosexual traditions and values of how to find a partner and maintain a relationship, Nelson promotes a "gay way" to romance and living in relationships that overlooks the diversity of values and lifetyles of many gay men.

14 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Make your own opinion about the book; I do not recomend it., June 18, 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: Finding True Love in a Man-Eat-Man World: The Intelligent Guide to Gay Dating, Sex. Romance, and Eternal Love (Paperback)

There are a few good tips scattered within the book here and there (but they are just that, tips nothing motivational or really deep). The author gives himself too much credit for things he knows very little about. For instance he claims that he has read a vast amount of books relating to dating, etc... Yet some of his advice seems very narrow, shallow and at times uninteligent! At one point in the book he advices you to go to a gay art gallery to meet men and then comments on the fact that the free cheese and wine should be great conversation starters, well I suppose the artwork itself is not worth striking a conversation!
Just to be fair though; in the book he mentions that there are 3 types of guys, The incompetent, the craftsman and the artist (I could be wrong on the 2nd one here but I think you will get the general idea). The incompetent is the person whom you can not have a relationship with, well, because he's incompetent (no big mistery there). The craftsman does all the right things and tries yet lacks passion, no spark, etc. And the artist is the one who keeps the dating interesting, the creative one that sweeps you off your feet, etc! There you go! This was the best part of the book for me yet I think most people could have found this out on their own!
Sorry Mr. Nelson, nothing personal and congratulations on getting this far with your book but you seem like the craftsman to me. It's interesting to mention as well that Mr. Nelson has had a string of long term realtionships one of which lasted 12 yrs, yet it seems that he is more interested in the thrill of the chase rather than a LIFETIME RELATIONSHIP! READ A BETTY BERZON BOOK INSTEAD!

24 of 28 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Trite, shallow, and aged, February 8, 2004

By A Customer

This review is from: Finding True Love in a Man-Eat-Man World: The Intelligent Guide to Gay Dating, Sex. Romance, and Eternal Love (Paperback)

If there were fines for mis-leading titles, the one assessed for this title would be greater by several-fold over any other. I am new to the gay world, not yet 'out' and uncertain how to move from interest to action. Little comfort or guidance was provided by this author when he wrote, "If I think I may want to see someone again, I always try to get his number, wait a day or two, take a deep breath, and make that call." The book is replete with such nonsense.

The author talks endlessly of his many, many gay experiences, relationships, and break-ups. The book assumes that ALL readers have had similar experiences...in both number and depth. (I, for one, have not.) I am looking for a book (which the title led me to believe this was) which tells me how to get a FIRST date.

The age of the book is apparent (copyright 1996) by its almost in-passing discussion of computer matching and AOL hook-ups. An entire chapter could now be written on what works, what doesn't work, where the risks and possibilities are in this near-decade old match medium. To quote, "If you've got a computer and a modem (duh!), there's a whole new way to meet guys: through computer bulletin boards." Page 63 of this useless tome goes on to say, "One of the most popular new ways to meet guys is via phone sex." It is? Maybe when this book was written.

Not mentioned, but certainly prevalent in big cities is buying a date, as in an escort. There are pluses and minuses here that should be detailed in the book.

Finally, assuming that you have hooked-up and are serious, there is great advice on staying together: "Give 200 percent of yourself, and remember that your other half thinks he's doing the same."

Save your money and go to a bad movie. You'll feel better for it.