Customer Reviews

Finding True Love in a Man-Eat-Man World: The Intelligent Guide to Gay Dating, Sex. Romance, and Eternal Love

5 star:		(18)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

Although any reader can glean some helpful information from this book, it is best suited for those who prescribe to an open relationship and feel comfortable in meeting guys at bars and sex clubs, and through phone sex and personal ads. I do not recommend this book to those who are searching for genuine depth in their relationships, and expecially not to those who desire a monogamous relationship. The book insufficiently covers the necessary communication and relationship skills and insights into understanding others that is so necessary for sustaining a lasting relationship.

Potential readers should be advised that Nelson is not a professional in the field of counseling or relationships. Nelson fails to clearly present and properly document his sources in what appears to be his attempt to persuade the reader to his bias views. While some may find Nelson's gay cynical humor entertaining, others may find it irritating. By discounting, although not all, of heterosexual traditions and values of how to find a partner and maintain a relationship, Nelson promotes a "gay way" to romance and living in relationships that overlooks the diversity of values and lifetyles of many gay men.

There are a few good tips scattered within the book here and there (but they are just that, tips nothing motivational or really deep). The author gives himself too much credit for things he knows very little about. For instance he claims that he has read a vast amount of books relating to dating, etc... Yet some of his advice seems very narrow, shallow and at times uninteligent! At one point in the book he advices you to go to a gay art gallery to meet men and then comments on the fact that the free cheese and wine should be great conversation starters, well I suppose the artwork itself is not worth striking a conversation!
Just to be fair though; in the book he mentions that there are 3 types of guys, The incompetent, the craftsman and the artist (I could be wrong on the 2nd one here but I think you will get the general idea). The incompetent is the person whom you can not have a relationship with, well, because he's incompetent (no big mistery there). The craftsman does all the right things and tries yet lacks passion, no spark, etc. And the artist is the one who keeps the dating interesting, the creative one that sweeps you off your feet, etc! There you go! This was the best part of the book for me yet I think most people could have found this out on their own!
Sorry Mr. Nelson, nothing personal and congratulations on getting this far with your book but you seem like the craftsman to me. It's interesting to mention as well that Mr. Nelson has had a string of long term realtionships one of which lasted 12 yrs, yet it seems that he is more interested in the thrill of the chase rather than a LIFETIME RELATIONSHIP! READ A BETTY BERZON BOOK INSTEAD!

If there were fines for mis-leading titles, the one assessed for this title would be greater by several-fold over any other. I am new to the gay world, not yet 'out' and uncertain how to move from interest to action. Little comfort or guidance was provided by this author when he wrote, "If I think I may want to see someone again, I always try to get his number, wait a day or two, take a deep breath, and make that call." The book is replete with such nonsense.

The author talks endlessly of his many, many gay experiences, relationships, and break-ups. The book assumes that ALL readers have had similar experiences...in both number and depth. (I, for one, have not.) I am looking for a book (which the title led me to believe this was) which tells me how to get a FIRST date.

The age of the book is apparent (copyright 1996) by its almost in-passing discussion of computer matching and AOL hook-ups. An entire chapter could now be written on what works, what doesn't work, where the risks and possibilities are in this near-decade old match medium. To quote, "If you've got a computer and a modem (duh!), there's a whole new way to meet guys: through computer bulletin boards." Page 63 of this useless tome goes on to say, "One of the most popular new ways to meet guys is via phone sex." It is? Maybe when this book was written.

Not mentioned, but certainly prevalent in big cities is buying a date, as in an escort. There are pluses and minuses here that should be detailed in the book.

Finally, assuming that you have hooked-up and are serious, there is great advice on staying together: "Give 200 percent of yourself, and remember that your other half thinks he's doing the same."

Save your money and go to a bad movie. You'll feel better for it.

What else can be said? If you are a gay man with courage, valor, candor, compassion and even the mildest sense of humor (whew) you MUST read this book. If you are an individual with a capital "I" this book will only bring you closer to who you are and how you view the most important person in your life-you. Read it, buy it, share it, give it away. Every time I open this book, for whatever reason, it I find something new to carry with me for the rest of the day. Thank you Mr. Nelson, you have done a tremendous service to our community.

I picked up this book second hand from a friend suffering from cancer and read it, repleat with notes inside, by I think this friend on several occasions. I even added a little of my own in one part.

But before I get into the review, I have to say, for those who have scoffed at this book in your reviews, you obviously didn't read it well enough, nor were out nor what have you to see that what he's trying to tell you is while not new information, but information that is relevant to having a serious relationship with someone you love.

I went into it realizing that what much of what he says is not new and that I already had an idea of said information, but the way he tells it is refreshing in that he tells it like it is. Love is fickle, you go in and out of love but if you learn to stick it out, you can become a long termer too.

Since we in the gay community do not have good images of relationships as pertaining to our sexual orientation, it's hard to imagine sticking with one person for the long haul and that it's become way too easy to throw in the towel when things do not go so smoothly. In fact that's perfectly normal for hets go through it too, just like us. I'm gay and I hope to find that man that loves me for who I am and vice versa - perfection be damned.

And that's precisely his point. find a guy who you can feel comfortable with, love and such and learn to live with his faults and hopefully he'll do the same to you. Now, his prose isn't the best but what he says is clear, concise and tells it like it is without glossing over anything.

I liked his going through the various stages of a relationship so we getting into one can see what we could potentially getting into ourselves and hopefully will not go at this whole love thing blindly.

Overall, a good book I will say.

I think this book helped me through some tough times. It was recommended to me by a friend, and I couldnt thank him enough for it!

The book definitely gets its point across with some funny stories along the way.

This isn't one of those "Live your life the way I tell you to" books, it basically informs you about stuff you might never have learned about except for the hard way. I finished the book feeling a lot better about myself and the people around me.

I highly recommend this book. Have a read, and I am sure you won't regret it for a second!

This book helped me realize how to improve my relationship and my own behavior as a partner. It also described very well our common reactions to some situations and how to face them better. Without wanting to offend anyone who might be reading this comments: this is my bible. Read it.

Bold, forthcoming, and honest manual written for any gay man learning how to navigate in confusing and dangerous waters of our contemporary straight society and not-so-well developed gay environment.

This book provides creative tips to forming an appropriate attitude to gay life, gives some ideas on how to set your mating / dating expectations, encourages a reader to be wizz of small but very meaningfull things/ ideas/ plans.

This book also discusses such important issues as man's trouble (addictions, abuses, illness), various paths on a road of gay life-style, eternal gay problems such as rejection and humiliation and how to be yourself, love yourself, enjoy yourself, and be happy where and who you are.

Inspiring, refreshing, boldly and affirmativly vocalized, excellent gift idea to any gay man.

Warning: Explicit Language

I read several books on gay dating and how to meet Mr. Right. This one, along with Patrick Prices' "Husband Hunting Made Easy" were the best. It has frank, honest commentary about what you need to do to attract Mr. Right. I am happy to say that I have used many ideas from this book, and have found my True Love.

I was looking for answers and i found thisamazing book. i loved how its funny and insightful at thesame time. It gave me a bigger view over the gay scene. It made me realize heella stuff about myself. and made me LOVE my boyfriend more. this book is recommended for all types of gays, so read it!