Customer Reviews

Finding Your Way After Your Child Dies

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Out of a congregation's shared grief following the tragic death of one of its younger members in an Interstate highway accident comes this book. It is a gentle and thoughtful collection of approaches to things practical and spiritual, when a child has died. How do parents and other family members find tangible ways to deal with the loss, sorrow and grief that comes with a death of a child?

The Wezemans answer the question with a multitude of brief essays called "reflections" and helpful ideas under the headings "rituals", "reading" and "response". The Wezemans have arranged their book in 52 short "refection" chapters with topics in alphabetical order ranging from "Allowance" and "Anniversary of Death" to "Vacations" and "Wedding". As these examples indicate, a fair number of these topics are unexpected, making them all the more insightful. A question such as "What will you do with the allowance?" opens a world of possibilities to remember and honor the child, to be blessed and to bless others in so doing.

The "refection" section of each chapter deals with the subject in a thoughtful manner. The "ritual" section lists projects and activities that might help the family come to grips with their grief. So, for instance, in the ritual section dealing with the "Anniversary of Death" there are suggestions for placing flowers in your church, wearing a specific symbolic item of jewelry or holding an annual family gathering, among others. The "reading" sections contain a passage of Scripture appropriate to the topic, and the "response" is a brief prayer. Not all of these reflections, rituals, readings and responses will apply to every family, but many will apply to most families who are dealing with bereavement.

Every one of us knows someone who has lost a child. This is a gentle and helpful book that might find its way into a family's ongoing journey of recovery and hopefulness. Especially useful is a "guide to using this book" and an index of Scripture. There is also a brief order of worship for the dedication of memorial gifts.