Customer Reviews

Finding Your Way After Your Spouse Dies

5 star:		(19)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Clean is the autumn wind,
Splendid the autumn moon,
The blown leaves are heaped and scattered,
The ice-cold raven starts from its roost.
Dreaming of you - when shall I see you again?
On this night sorrow fills my
heart.

~Li Po (701-762)

The loss of a friend or lover can be one of the most painful and disorienting experiences life can offer. Life seems bleak and empty, your mind becomes a pool of muddled thoughts. Losing your spouse is even more painful and the grief a person feels when they have to struggle through the grieving process can be overwhelming.

When you are trying to pick up the pieces and move on, it helps to know that there is someone out there who understands what you are going through. Marta Felber has dedicated this book to the reader with the hope that it will be of help in the journey through grief.

Drawing on her training as a therapist and her experiences in self-healing after the death of her husband, she has written this guide as if she was a friend sitting with you and you were both drinking a cup of tea. She starts by expressing her heartfelt sorrow for the reader's loss and then proceeds to speak from the heart in small easy-to-read chapters. She deals with the deepest feelings in a very gentle way.

She talks about how you should accept crying as a natural process, how you can start a journal and how you must still think about eating well and exercising even in this stage of grief. She speaks of how to forgive, accept and let the healing process begin.

I think this is a book everyone should read whether they have experienced a loss or not because all of us will come into contact with someone in our lives who is experiencing loss. This will not only help you understand grief, but will allow you to understand what someone is going through. I think this book could also be used for when you have lost a very good friend who is very important to you as some of the same principles apply.

I think writing can be theraputic and Marta has also written a companion book called Grief Expressed: When a Mate Dies. The second book consists of 64 written exercises that she completed for herself in the first year after she lost her own husband. She deals with a wide range of emotions and issues, such as loneliness, insecurity, friends, finance, sleeplessness, health and anniversaries.

If you have a friend who has experienced a great loss, perhaps you could give this book to them with a flower and a ribbon tied to it and I think it will be a gift they won't forget. Actions do speak louder than words, in most things in life.

I felt very calm and nurtured after reading both of Marta's books.

Healing.

~The Rebecca Review

I thought that I would receive help from my friends after my wife passed away. I had to turn to books for assistance, but found only one that I felt helped me through that long walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death. Marta's book was direct, honest and increased my faith in God. Each daily prayer was very helpful. It is a wonderful book to give to a friend in need.

This is a nice little book, consisting of two page reflections, advice, a suggested prayer, and related scripture on a series of topics that very roughly reflects the grieving process. As such, it can be read cover-to-cover, but serves most use as a "daily reflections" or "journal by proxy", and is best when you flick through the pages and read whatever section you happen upon.

My main complaint with "Finding Your Way..." is that it's yet another "grieving grannies" book that is inherently speaking from and to an older woman's perspective, thus leaving something to be desired as a book for under-40 widowers. Just once I'd like to find a book that addresses topics such as "how to regain your sense of manhood after braiding your daughter's hair."

That being said, "Finding Your Way..." is a comforting and encouraging book, and contains helpful advice for anyone who has lost a spouse.

When I lost my partner, I purchased about 10 different books to help deal with the vast emotional loss. This is by far, the very best book to help guide you through such a time. It offers some real steps of how to get through the grief and move on to a sense of normalcy.

Someone had recommended this book for our mother, after the death of our father. She does not normally take to things of this nature, but she has really taken an interest in reading this book and has requested other copies for other people we know. It is in simple and warm language and for every page there is a at least one bible verse reference. It is respectful to all faiths.

After reading these reviews, I selected this book to give to my mother in the weeks after my father died. She said it was extremely comforting and helpful. She plans to use it as a resource in the coming months.

Helpfully reminds us that our grieving process is as unique as we are unique as people. Provides a reassurange hat where we are and what we feel in this loss is acceptable and will continually change and return to the moment as the time goes on.

This book was very informative and helpful. At a time like this you feel
really lost and it is good to have something to refer to that teaches you how to take those baby steps back to a normal life.

This book has some wonderful ideas for widows and widowers to overcome your loss. Thats why I liked it.

A very sensitive approach to a difficult subject. Each chapter is short, but precise, covering very practical areas that need to be faced after a loved one dies. Marta Felber spoke to my needs and I was greatly helped to effectively work through many issues, some that I was aware of and others that were new to me, some practical and some deeply emotional.
Even though it is stressed in the introduction that these were optional, I personally found that the prayer at the end of each chapter and the Old & New Testament Scripture references were very apt and of great comfort to me.
I wholeheartedly recommend this book. I have purchased two extra copies and am lending them to friends who have lost loved ones.