Finding Your Leading Man: How to Create Male-to-Male Intimacy and Make Your Relationship a Blockbuster [Paperback]

Jon P. Bloch Ph.D. (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: December 8, 2000

For all the gay men who have spent years fruitlessly looking for Mr. Wonderful, who have kissed every toad in the pond without even one turning into Prince Charming, finally there is a roadmap to guide them to a lasting, more fulfilling relationship.

Even now, when an ever increasing number of gay men are looking to establish a lasting relationship, studies show that male/male relationships end sooner than either straight or lesbian relationships. But it doesn't have to be that way. Finding Your Leading Man is a guide to help the gay man seeking intimacy and wishing to improve the quality of his relationships. Dr. Jon Bloch first explores the twelve basic personality types that gay men employ to hide their fears and desires, provides practical tips for getting past the intimacy blockers of each type, and details which personality types are most - and least - compatible with each other. Finally, he then explains how to use this knowledge to build a successful long-term intimate relationship.

Fun, practical, and easy to use, How to Find Your Leading Man is a clear, enjoyable, and simple guide for the gay man on the hunt for his one and only.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

If Bette Davis is your standing date for Saturday night, here's the book for you, boyfriend. It's time to retire All About Eve and discover your own leading man. Spend a few hours cruising this cheerful, upbeat guide to finding lasting love with the man of your dreams. In Finding Your Leading Man, Jon P. Bloch has identified 12 amusing and recognizable personality types of gay men, from the Hyper-Romantic (you send flowers to your ex on Valentine's Day--and he left you!) to the Perennial Closet Case (you have your prom photo prominently displayed on your desk). Offering practical advice for overcoming intimacy fears specific to these types, Bloch also makes suggestions about which types do best together. What happens, for instance, when a Shy Snob dates a Therapy Junkie? Can the Sexpot win over the Misfit? Even those who chafe at being categorized will find kernels of themselves here, as well as basic, sound relationship advice. A fab gift for searching singles or thoughtful couples, this book would make a great party game, too. It sure beats Spin the Bottle. --Jack Connolly

From Library Journal

Bloch (anthropology and sociology, Southern Connecticut State Univ.; New Spirituality, Self, and Belonging) has come up with 12 different parts that gay men play in order to keep themselves from getting too intimate with their partners. He calls these "OWTAs"DOscar-Winning Typecast Appearances. From "Party Boy" through "Perennial Closet Case," he describes these roles and examines possible OWTA pairings to gauge what might be good about each couple and what might be disastrous. Then, for only about 30 pages, he advises how to transcend these self-proclaimed roles to make relationships work. Strangely, however, the briefness of this section does not mar the book, perhaps because Bloch's writing is amusing and clear. He successfully gets across such points as his argument that gay men have a lot more in common with straight men than they think they do. Recommended for public libraries.DPam Matthews, Gettysburg Coll. Lib., PA
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin; 1st edition (December 8, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0312267363
• ISBN-13: 978-0312267360
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.4 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,648,800 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Finding Your Leading Man, December 14, 2000

By 

Terry Drew Karanen (Atlanta, GA USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Finding Your Leading Man: How to Create Male-to-Male Intimacy and Make Your Relationship a Blockbuster (Paperback)

Book review for Jon

Jon Bloch's new book, "Finding Your Leading Man", is a must-read for all gay men. Finally a gay man who openly admits that, after all is said and done, gay men are MEN! I was able to review my past relationships and see where mistakes were made based on Jon's analysis of the various types of personalities. His eye-opening insight into the core paradigms we hold for ourselves and others will now enable me to avoid costly mistakes in my own life in the future. I am recommending this book to all my gay male clients as well as colleagues of all orientations who work with the gay community.

Terry Drew Karanen, DD, LhD, Support Services Unlimited, Atlanta, GA

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Smart, Sexy and Sassy!, December 2, 2001

By 

Robin D. Blakeman "Tristan Robin" (New Haven, CT United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Finding Your Leading Man: How to Create Male-to-Male Intimacy and Make Your Relationship a Blockbuster (Paperback)

This book does a great, funny job of making sense of the world of gay male dating. It's straightforward enough for ANYONE to understand it, and see himself in one of the sometimes-tough-to-admit-but-always-fun personality types. It will change the way you think about yourself--and romance and love. And it will do it in way that makes you laugh and think. Even though I SHOULD have bought them copies, LOL, I showed this book to several friends - and they enjoyed it as much as I did. Don't be as cheap as me! - LOL - makes a great gift!!!

2 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Reads like a book-length version of a Cosmo love quiz., November 12, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: Finding Your Leading Man: How to Create Male-to-Male Intimacy and Make Your Relationship a Blockbuster (Paperback)

Here we have yet another example of a self-help book that divides gay men into a low number of personality types and tries to explain everything in terms of those personality types. If there were any science involved in determining these personality types, you'd think that the self-help authors would eventually agree on what they are or even how many there are. But no.

The author tells us that there are twelve types, just as there are twelve signs in astrology, and I'm sure they're just as accurate. I went over them with my boyfriend, and we agreed that each of us sounded like two or three of them. Even aside from that, the characterizations aren't convincing. For instance, it's hard to draw a bright line between the Misfit and the Shy Snob, and yet the two are supposed to be complete opposites in their interactions with the Blue-Collar Guy.

The book goes downhill from there. After having explained the twelve types in detail, the book synopsizes them in a way that makes them all sound dreadful. Then, to see how unrealistic it is when we act in certain ways, we are asked to consider how we would react if straight men acted in those same ways. That's fair as far as it goes, but all of the author's examples seem strained, and a few seem to have it exactly backwards.

This book is moderately amusing, and some things in it even ring true, but ultimately, it seems like The Rules for gay men.