Finding Your Way through Grief: A Guide for the First Year, Second Edition [Paperback]

Marty Tousley (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 31, 2008

Originally published in 1999, this popular and well-received book is a sensitive, informative guide to help survivors understand and cope with the feelings and experiences they're likely to encounter in the first year following the death of a loved one. Revised and expanded in 2008 to include a fourth section on Helping Another in Grief, this second edition is designed to help readers dispel some of the common myths and misconceptions about grief and loss; understand the grief process as a normal yet highly personal response to loss; know what feelings and experiences may be expected as normal, both in anticipation of major loss and in the first year of grief; recognize the physical, emotional, social and spiritual effects of grief; understand the differences in mourning patterns among various family members, including children and adolescents; find and explore the many and varied ways of managing grief; get through difficult celebration days such as anniversaries, birthdays and holidays; move from merely surviving grief towards transcending it; and know better how to respond to another person in mourning.

Editorial Reviews

Review

This book, which was written as a practical guide through the first year of grief for bereaved family members of Hospice of the Valley in Phoenix, AZ, will have wide applicability in other grieving contexts as well. Its three sections (Understanding the Grief Process, Managing Your Grief, and From Surviving to Transcending Your Grief) are well written, compassionate and convey realistic hopefulness for the predictable and unpredictable passages of the grief journey. -- --Rev. Paul A. Metzler, in The Forum, Quarterly Newsletter of the Association for Death Educaiton and Counseling, April/May/June 2005. (This review refers to the first edition.)

About the Author

As both a bereaved parent and a bereaved child, Marty Tousley has focused her practice on issues of loss, grief and transition for more than 40 years. She joined Hospice of the Valley in Phoenix, Arizona as a bereavement counselor in 1996, and now serves as moderator for its online Grief Healing Discussion Groups. A frequent contributor to healthcare journals, newsletters, books and magazines, she has authored a number of books, booklets, articles and online e-mail courses addressing various aspects of loss and grief. With her special interest in grief and the human-animal bond, she facilitated the pet loss support group for bereaved animal lovers at Hospice of the Valley, and for many years has served as the Mental Health Consultant to the Halton-Peel Pet Loss Support Group in Ontario, Canada and to the Pet Grief Support Service in Phoenix, AZ. Her own Grief Healing Web site (GriefHealing.com) offers information, comfort and support to anyone who is anticipating or coping with the loss of a loved one, whether a person or a cherished companion animal. She is certified as a Fellow in Thanatology (Death, Dying and Bereavement) by the Association for Death Education and Counseling, and as a Clinical Specialist in Adult Psychiatric/ Mental Health Nursing Practice by the American Nurses Association.

Product Details

• Paperback: 102 pages
• Publisher: Hospice of the Valley; Second edition (October 31, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0979849039
• ISBN-13: 978-0979849039
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 6 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,081,186 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

On the staff of Hospice of the Valley in Phoenix, Arizona since 1996, I am a certified hospice bereavement counselor, helping individuals and families find their way through grief following the death of a loved one. I also volunteer as a mental health consultant / pet loss counselor with the Halton-Peel Pet Loss Support Group in Ontario, Canada and, since 1993, with the Pet Grief Support Service in Phoenix, working with bereaved animal lovers, both individually and in groups, and consulting with veterinary clinics and animal shelters to foster greater understanding of pet loss among staff members, thereby building better helping relationships with grieving clients. Over the years I've written for healthcare journals, newsletters and magazines for the lay public, published several articles and book chapters in the professional nursing and medical literature, and authored three books addressing various aspects of loss and grief. As a content provider for Self-Healing Expressions(www.selfhealingexpressions.com), I've also written three online e-mail courses on grief and pet loss. My own award-winning Internet Web site, at www.griefhealing.com, offers information, comfort and support to anyone who is anticipating or mourning the loss of a loved one, whether that is a person or a cherished companion animal.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Wise, Wonderful and Validating Book on Understanding and Managing Grief, June 3, 2011

By 

Mary Jane Hurley Brant "Mary Jane Hurley Brant" (Bryn Mawr, PA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Finding Your Way through Grief: A Guide for the First Year, Second Edition (Paperback)

This is a wonderful book. If you have lost someone you love and don't know how to handle the pain and grief, this is the book for you. If you know someone looking for a resource to help someone else and they just don't know what to do, give them this book as a guide.

I read Finding Your Way Through Grief, A Guide for the First Year written by Marty Tousley, CNS,-BC, FT, DCC on two different levels: personal and clinical. Because she is a nurse, bereavement counselor and mother who lost her own child and I am a bereaved mother and psychotherapist who lost an adult child to cancer, I thought we would have much in common in our lives and we do.

Marty Tousley gives a piece of advice early in the book, "Grief is not an illness to be cured...." That thought alone provides comfort to any mourner for it recognizes grieving as a natural process when we have suffered the loss of someone we love. Her statement recognizes that grief is a universal, normal response to loss not pathology as some might hold.

This book generously validates all of our feelings of loss, "It never really ends; you don't get over grief. It is something you will learn to live with...." This respects the grieving person. It immediately helps remove any residue of guilt a reader might hold in a society that wants us all back at our desk in three days.

This book states how death can prompt a crisis of faith. Many books about loss do not take on this topic but it's true. People often do feel their faith shake. I found the topics nurse and bereavement counselor Marty Tousley addressed - confusion, disorientation and fear - and her suggestions in how to cope with these emotions not only applicable but practical to the daily task of trying to live one's life again. As anyone who has lost someone knows, we are disoriented; we walk around stunned and lost so Marty Tousley's compassionate advice to be gentle with ourselves was a welcomed gift.

Other gifts lie in this book in the form of constructive suggestions - as on Page 17 to "Follow the lead of the person who is dying...." When I read that statement I felt validated that I had done the right thing with my own beloved child and also with my mother who died the year before my daughter. It's one thing to be knowledgeable professionally about grief but it's another experience altogether when it's personal. Marty Tousley aligns those experiences giving credibility and authenticity to the chapters.

Overall, this book is a helpful, useful, wonderful manual. It's a comfort guide and a road map about grieving and dying. I have already begun using Finding Your Way as I facilitate my own grief groups because Marty Tousley's writing and information demonstrates a depth of knowledge throughout that is not only clear and concise, it is comforting and healing. Finding Your Way Through Grief is a blessing.

Mary Jane Hurley Brant, M.S., CGP
Psychotherapist, Grief Specialist
Author of When Every Day Matters:
A Mother's Memoir on Love, Loss and Life
Simple Abundance Press
Available at Amazon.com

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An Exceptional Guide, March 21, 2010

By 

Rita M. Reynolds "author of Blessing The Brid... (Batesville, VA United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Finding Your Way through Grief: A Guide for the First Year, Second Edition (Paperback)

Losing anyone dear to us brings a crisis to our lives that is beyond definition. Whether a parent, friend, partner, sibling, spouse or animal companion, the pain is so often beyond measure that we feel as if nothing and no one can bring us out of our grief. Marty Tousley, Bereavement Counselor and member of Hospice of the Valley, Phoenix AZ offers a book that quite likely will be the best guide through the grieving and healing process following such a loss, that anyone would need. Finding Your Way Through Grief takes us through that first, most traumatic year following the death of a beloved one. The book is divided into four parts for easy referencing and each section studies loss and grief in depth, from the various stages of shock, confusion, anger and guilt, to name a few, to how to find a support group and professional help. There is a section devoted to helping a child deal with grief, and how to work through the death of a dog, cat, or other companion animal. Marty Tousley, highly professional in her field of grief counseling, writes from experience as a bereaved parent and bereaved child, with a clear sense of compassion. The text is well organized, easy to follow from the beginning or access at any point in the book, with suggested ways to help another person who is suffering through grief. This is an important feature,for anyone who is grieving the loss of a loved one needs any such help to be concise and easy to comprehend. A resource section follows the text with further reading material including books and magazines and grief healing discussion groups. I highly recommend this book - it should be in everyone's personal library.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Support for the bereaved as they rebuild their lives, February 4, 2010

By 

C. Korpi "Sid Korpi" (Minneapolis, MN) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Finding Your Way through Grief: A Guide for the First Year, Second Edition (Paperback)

In "Finding Your Way Through Grief," author/bereavement counselor Marty Tousely has created the essential handbook for those who are trying to regain their physical, spiritual and psychological footing after the death of someone close to them. In her clear, compassionate, approachable style, she offers invaluable insight on every aspect of the grieving process, both immediately after the loss and through that first critical year of adjustment. Being an animal chaplain myself, I was particularly pleased to see that she included a section on pet loss, thereby validating an experience too many in our society dismiss.

Tousely obviously calls upon her training in grief counseling and her work at Hospice of the Valley in plumbing the depths of all aspects of grieving and/or mourning, even including a section to help those of us who want to be of support to a friend or relative who has experienced the death of someone close to him or her but who don't know what to do. "Finding Your Way Through Grief," as its cover suggests, really does act as a compass for its readers, providing direction to those who themselves feel lost after a loss.

Sid Korpi, author of "Good Grief: Finding Peace After Pet Loss"