First Aid for the Betrayed [Paperback]

Richard Alan (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: November 20, 2006

"This writing is extraordinary and unique. First, because it was written by a man whose wife had an affair. Most first-person writing about affairs has been from women. It contains some of the rawest honesty about the pain of an affair that I have ever read. It provides a great deal of hard-earned wisdom about the whole issue of affairs, particularly in healing from the devastation. I highly recommend this book to anyone who truly wants to know what it's like to deal with a spouse's affair - and to learn practical ways to recover and heal."

Peggy Vaughan, author of The Monogamy Myth

Written over a period of two years and based on his personal experience and those of over 100 others who have suffered the betrayal of a partner's adultery, the author has captured the essence of the pain, anguish and inestimable psychological effects of a partner's affair.

From his own struggle to survive and recover, the author shares with those who are trying to recover, suggestions for survival, recovery and ways to deal with the many adverse personal effects of betrayal. Self esteem, trust, anger, depression, obsessing and more are all looked at and the reader is provided with practical suggestions for overcoming these issues.

Readers and other authors have praised the work for its straightforward and simple approach. The author has taken the subject out of the theoretical and gets down to earth with reality, personal understanding and insights gained through experience that only those who have "been there" could ever know.

"I have just finished reading your book. I'm really impressed and emotionally stirred. It is a great book and I believe it will help many people I thought the book was brilliant, and probably one of  the most helpful resources that can fall into the hands of a betrayed spouse."

Anne Bercht, author of My Husband's Affair Became the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

A native of the Midwest, Richard Alan has lived in the South for the last 32 years. Mr. Alan spent thirty-six years as an executive in the ground and air transportation sector and has written a number of management training programs that are still in use. He has been a contract trainer for several prestigious training firms. A music history major, he is a published writer of over 100 articles on American popular music history and has played violin with a community orchestra in his home town. He is president of a non-profit organization for the preservation of American popular music. Mr. Alan has spent over two years coordinating a support group for betrayed spouses and has personally seen and helped over one hundred men and women who have suffered the devastating effects of an affair. Through his own struggle and that of his group members, Alan has learned from personal experience how to deal with the long-term effects of affairs and more importantly, practical ways to recover.

Product Details

• Paperback: 215 pages
• Publisher: Trafford Publishing (November 20, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1425103561
• ISBN-13: 978-1425103569
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.5 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #211,567 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

A native of the Midwest, Richard Alan has lived in the South for the last 32 years. Mr. Alan spent thirty-six years as an executive in the ground and air transportation sector and has written a number of management training programs that are still in use. He has been a contract trainer for several prestigious training firms.

A music history major, he is a published writer of over 100 articles on American popular music history and has played violin with a community orchestra in his home town. He is president of a non-profit organization for the preservation of American popular music.

Mr.Alan has spent over two years coordinating a support group for betrayed
spouses and has personally seen and helped over one hundred men and women who
have suffered the devastating effects of an affair. Through his own struggle and that of his group members, Alan has learned from personal experience how to deal with the long-term effects of affairs and more importantly, practical ways to recover.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

60 of 60 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars REAL, RAW, and RARE, December 23, 2006

By 

Ex Wife (Memphis, TN) - See all my reviews

This review is from: First Aid for the Betrayed (Paperback)

I bought over 20 books about affairs, separation, and infidelity. I couldn't find ONE that captured the AGONY I felt at that moment when I found out about the "other woman." There are no books out that capture the catastrophic pain and torment upon initial discovery of an unfaithful spouse. I didn't want to hear about getting a haircut or taking long baths...I wanted to DIE, and I needed to know that my emotional devestation was not an over reaction, and that most people DO feel exactly like I did. Until now, there just hasn't seemed to be much out there that talks honestly about the feelings you don't even want to tell a thrapist. It is the most honest approach I have seen, and I wish I had this book in my hands the day I found out. The assurance that I was not "crazy" helped me tremendously. There are many helpful resources mentioned here as well! This book is a must read....

19 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Life-Changing Book, December 29, 2006

By 

Deborah Campbell - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: First Aid for the Betrayed (Paperback)

I highly recommend this courageous book to anyone suffering from the betrayal of an affair. I've read many books on recovering from betrayal, but this is the BEST one I've ever read. It finally helped me to realize my husband's affair was not my fault, which is a gift beyond measure. In addition, the author's honesty about the emotional, physical, and psychological reactions to a spouses's affair gave me two important gifts... First, I was not the "only one" who felt all these things; and second, I was not completely crazy. My reactions were normal. The author addresses nearly all of the different issues that come up that we must work through, and he offers good ways to start to heal and understand these issues. I've read this book several times now, and each time, I get something new to help me a little more. This book is a "Must Read" for anyone struggling with the devastation of an affair. D Campbell, Florida

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Brutal Honesty..., December 25, 2006

By 

M. Pfeffer "Grounded" (Chicago) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: First Aid for the Betrayed (Paperback)

Like the prior reviewer, I too found this book to be incredibly important. I was lucky enough to read First Aid for The Betrayed within a week or two of finding out about my spouse's affair. My emotions at the time were out of control and I was unable to come to grips with them. This book provided me with important reference materials and also grounded me positively by making it clear that I was not alone in my feelings and that others had made it through the process feeling just as I had. This was very, very important. Highly recommended.