Customer Reviews

First Aid for the Betrayed

5 star:		(16)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I bought over 20 books about affairs, separation, and infidelity. I couldn't find ONE that captured the AGONY I felt at that moment when I found out about the "other woman." There are no books out that capture the catastrophic pain and torment upon initial discovery of an unfaithful spouse. I didn't want to hear about getting a haircut or taking long baths...I wanted to DIE, and I needed to know that my emotional devestation was not an over reaction, and that most people DO feel exactly like I did. Until now, there just hasn't seemed to be much out there that talks honestly about the feelings you don't even want to tell a thrapist. It is the most honest approach I have seen, and I wish I had this book in my hands the day I found out. The assurance that I was not "crazy" helped me tremendously. There are many helpful resources mentioned here as well! This book is a must read....

I highly recommend this courageous book to anyone suffering from the betrayal of an affair. I've read many books on recovering from betrayal, but this is the BEST one I've ever read. It finally helped me to realize my husband's affair was not my fault, which is a gift beyond measure. In addition, the author's honesty about the emotional, physical, and psychological reactions to a spouses's affair gave me two important gifts... First, I was not the "only one" who felt all these things; and second, I was not completely crazy. My reactions were normal. The author addresses nearly all of the different issues that come up that we must work through, and he offers good ways to start to heal and understand these issues. I've read this book several times now, and each time, I get something new to help me a little more. This book is a "Must Read" for anyone struggling with the devastation of an affair. D Campbell, Florida

Like the prior reviewer, I too found this book to be incredibly important. I was lucky enough to read First Aid for The Betrayed within a week or two of finding out about my spouse's affair. My emotions at the time were out of control and I was unable to come to grips with them. This book provided me with important reference materials and also grounded me positively by making it clear that I was not alone in my feelings and that others had made it through the process feeling just as I had. This was very, very important. Highly recommended.

I have read over a dozen books about infidelity, but this one is "real" and the best money I spent short of counseling. Highly recommended for anyone dealing with recovery. No psycho-babble, no blaming, no excuses, just excellent advice from an author who has been there. A wonderful resource.

This book helped me put most of my feelings into perspective. It is helping me heal and understand that I may never understand. I don't like it but I can accept that now. Sometimes life is unfair. My husband held me and told me he loved me right up to the night before he packed and left me. I learned throught this book that things like this happen and you have to keep going.

I ordered a few books after my husband had an emotional affair. This one is really REAL and totally RAW! The author is so honest, it makes you feel like you are talking to a friend, that understands everything you are going through. I really recommend this book or anyone affected by an affair. Reading does help focus your mind. It is written by a male, but it is good for either party.

This is a very good book, it has a lot of other resources you can turn to for additional help. I highly recommend it and I'm sorry you need it.

I appreciated the rawness that the author uses relaying the experiences that he has gone through. It's very "real". I differ in opinion on the topic of forgiveness - Biblically we are commanded to - not for the benefit of the offender but so we can be and live freely. I believe unforgiveness binds us to the person we have not forgiven. I also liked the links to helpful websites and recommended resources. Some very good concepts that I could easily identify with - the obsessive thought cycle being one...... may contain language that some may find offensive - but he didn't censor in an effort to keep it real.

I've read many, many books on this subject but Richard Alan's book is the absolute best book for the person who has been betrayed. He is "right on" with his insight and advice. I recommend this as a "must read" for the betrayed. Among other things, Richard Alan's book helps to validate all the feelings the betrayed experiences. If the betrayer is interested in learning what the betrayed is going through, it is also very helpful in describing the sometimes excrutiating pain which is the unfortunate biproduct of an affair, as well as what the betrayer can do to help heal that pain. K.L.First Aid for the Betrayed

If your reason for reading this book is to find the answers you won't but there are plenty of suggestions to help you on your way to recovery. I found that you could open to any page in the book and find something that you could relate to. It is comforting to know that although you may feel you are in this situation alone that many, many others have been there and come through it okay. The book provides a link to others who have had the same rough roads as you and still survived.