First Comes Love and over one million other books are available for Amazon Kindle. Learn more
Qty:1
  • List Price: $17.95
  • Save: $1.79 (10%)
FREE Shipping on orders over $35.
In Stock.
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.
Gift-wrap available.
Add to Cart
FREE Shipping on orders over $35.
Condition: Used: Good
Comment: Solid used copy with visible wear to covers. May contain underlines or highlights. Ships directly to you with tracking from Amazon's warehouse - fast, secure and FREE WITH AMAZON PRIME.
Add to Cart
Have one to sell? Sell on Amazon
Flip to back Flip to front
Listen Playing... Paused   You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition.
Learn more
See this image

First Comes Love Paperback – May 27, 1997


See all 11 formats and editions Hide other formats and editions
Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle
"Please retry"
Paperback
"Please retry"
$16.16
$6.23 $0.01
Unknown Binding
"Please retry"
$2.00

Frequently Bought Together

First Comes Love + Rules for the Unruly: Living an Unconventional Life + Highs in the Low Fifties: How I Stumbled through the Joys of Single Living
Price for all three: $42.55

Buy the selected items together

NO_CONTENT_IN_FEATURE

Hero Quick Promo
Browse in Books with Buzz and explore more details on the current pick, "The Mockingbird Next Door: Life with Harper Lee" by Marja Mills.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Vintage; Reprint edition (May 27, 1997)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0679765557
  • ISBN-13: 978-0679765554
  • Product Dimensions: 8 x 6.2 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (25 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,352,627 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

This memoir from Marion Winik, a commentator for National Public Radio and the author of Telling, a collection of autobiographical essays, begins in 1983 with Winik, just 24, anesthetizing herself after a break-up via vodka and a mixture of hard drugs. Though strong-willed, she seems to lack strength of character. She flounders from one mistake to the next, offering wise observations, but never attempting to thwart her streak of self-destruction. Her marriage to a gay man with HIV sets the course for change--she kicks her addictions and ultimately assists in her ravaged husband's suicide. Through an HIV wives support group, as well as through altercations with her in-laws, she comes to learn how strong she really is. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Publishers Weekly

National Public Radio commentator Winik's memoir will appeal primarily to romantics who believe in the primacy of love and who can empathize with a woman whose husband in a rocky marriage committed suicide. More realistic types will wonder why Winik, although a heavy drug user at the time, allowed herself to be courted by a flamboyant homosexual junkie; she was subsequently to learn that he had been HIV-positive for two or three years before they met. They married in 1986 in Manhattan. Tony Heubach, a former ice-dancer, was a considerate person, although after the couple had two sons, his interest in heterosexual relations waned and the marriage began to unravel. His drug use increased sharply and, as his HIV turned into AIDS, his addiction became alarming: periods of catatonia alternated with prolonged sessions of weeping and, on a few occasions, assaults on his wife. With pain so acute and constant that even morphine was minimally effective, he requested her help to end his life. She prepared the bowl of strawberry-banana yogurt with 60 capsules of Nembutal that killed him in 1994.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

More About the Author

Discover books, learn about writers, read author blogs, and more.

Customer Reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
5 star
15
4 star
6
3 star
2
2 star
0
1 star
2
See all 25 customer reviews
I loved this book, it was very hard to put down.
GinaLF
I recommend this book to everyone and they all can't believe how much they enjoy it.
Amazon Customer
And the thread of love holds and holds and holds and finally snaps.
Puppy Out Of Breath

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By debra crosby on March 19, 2008
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I only read this book because our reading group chose it and, frankly, at first I wasn't sure I'd like it. I didn't feel that I could relate to Marion Winik's drug use or self-destructive pursuit of a gay man. But her writing drew me in and her story proved to be so absorbing because it was so well-written. Yes, she was self-absorbed, as addicts often are, and yes, she knew her love for Tony was bound to end in frustration, but she has no sympathy for herself, and asks for none from her readers. Her story, while moving, is not cloying or sentimental, and I really liked that. She is honest, often painfully so, and direct. She reveals what it truly means to love someone who cannot love you back the way you want to be loved. She faces her problems head-on, addresses her own weaknesses with candor. Her writing style is clear and its emotions sharply drawn. If you approach her story without judging her, you will come to know her and understand her. I liked her in spite of myself, and that says a lot. Like a good friend you care about, but who can drive you crazy, Winik reveals things to you that can make you roll your eyes or sigh in frustration, make you want to slap her. And then she opens up with vulnerability, revealing her inner turmoil and pain, and you want to embrace her. This is a tough story, hard to take sometimes. But a true love story, nonetheless. After I read the whole book, I went back and re-read its opening chapter. After going on Winik's journey with her, her words about her husband's final hours brought me to tears. I felt I knew them both.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Rick Hunter on November 15, 1998
Format: Paperback
Marion Winik's funny, honest, and ultimately gut-wrenching memoir First Comes Love answers, in the end, what true love is. In clear, unwavering prose, Winik tells of her meeting, marrying, having two children with Tony Heubach, a gay ice-skater. Given their differing sexual orientations -- Winik is straight -- sex never was a big part of their relationship. Drugs, however, were, and it is the drugs which first brought the two together and drove them apart as Tony desperately sought any respite from the AIDS that killed him (neither Winik nor their two children ever tested positive). The most accurate phrase I can come up for Winik and Tony is that they were "soul mates", and this compatibility on levels more intimate than intercourse made their relationship work. Involving as it does drug addiction and AIDS, many parts of this book are sad. Winik and Tony, however, shared many good times together, including a number of years when they were off drugs, were happily married with young children, and before Tony became symptomatic. This book deserves a wide audience both for its honesty and for Winik's marvelous writing.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Puppy Out Of Breath on May 31, 2004
Format: Paperback
Yes, the two main people in this memoir are self-indulgent, but there is one, and only one, thread that holds them together: Love. It cannot be sexual attraction, because one is gay and one is straight. And the thread of love holds and holds and holds and finally snaps. Marion Winik's writing held me from the first chapter to the last and never snapped.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on June 1, 2001
Format: Paperback
This is one of my all-time favorite books by my favorite writer. I used to read Marion Winik's cloumns in the local newspaper when I lived in Austin and have always been a fan of her writing style.
I recommend this book to everyone and they all can't believe how much they enjoy it. When you first read the book synopsis on the back cover it sounds as if the story was pulled from one of those cheesy tv-movie-of-the-weeks. But Winik's story and the voice with which she tells it is so engaging and inspirational. Her words never reflect any kind of self-pity, as is often seen in many of the memoirs published recently. Instead her writing is wry, clever and very witty. This book will honestly make you laugh and cry. After reading this book you'll feel like Marion Winik is one of your close friends or wish she was.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By R. Peterson on August 19, 2000
Format: Paperback
A Christmas gift, off a request list of mine (!), this book was a complete surprise to me. I groaned after reading the back cover with the summary on it... Winik, an occasional commentator on NPR's, "All Things Considered", married the love of her life in New Orleans a number of years ago - an improbable match: he gay, she straight, both heavy drug users. As I said, I groaned reading this but then started the book. In a touching, powerful voice, Winik describes the falling in love, the marriage, the birth of their two boys, and her husband's terrible death from AIDS. The book is inspirational and extremely well written. Winik's narrative and acute observations are a gift. Early in the book she sold me, "When you think how much of a person's beauty is in their eyes, it is astonishing how beautiful they can be with them closed in sleep, perhaps as when you suddenly notice how talented the members of a chorus line are once the stars of the show have left the stage." This is a sad and beautifully written book in tribute to a loved one. Well worth the read. 
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
4 of 5 people found the following review helpful By rjhawley@gte.net on February 16, 1998
Format: Paperback
Amazing, isn't it, how one person's non-fiction tale is another person's bizarre cautionary fable. In "First Comes Love", Marion Winik tells us all she can of her volatile relationship with the beautiful gay man she chose as her husband. It's the parts she can't tell us that may haunt her readers. (Although there is many an opportunity to read between the lines and to figure out that Marion Winik is one helluva scary human being.) A strong woman who offers shelter and unconditional love to the pretty object of her affections, Winik eventually tires of the conjugal set-up she has created (she will adore him, he will let her), and pulls away from her husband (Tony) just as his HIV positive state blooms into your basic, enervating case of AIDS. He's a little depressed about it all--gosh, I wonder why, Marion. Reading this book, one wishes more than anything that it was fiction, that the character of Marion Winik, it's-all-about-me control freak, was a figment of some deviously gifted writer's imagination.That way, maybe we would have heard some of the story in Tony's gentler, more loving vioce. What did he think of the loud, funny woman who loved him so much (but not long enough)? What did he imagine he would have done without her? And what did he see when he looked at their two sons? "First Comes Love" was dedicated to Tony, and he's on nearly every page--we deserve to know more about him than that he loved gardening and Judy Garland. Even Tony's mother (you'll love her!)is more clearly drawn that he is. Makes you wonder--are men quite real to Ms. Winik?
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again

Customer Images

Most Recent Customer Reviews

Search

What Other Items Do Customers Buy After Viewing This Item?