Customer Reviews

First Darling of the Morning: Selected Memories of an Indian Childhood (P.S.)

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After reading "The Space Between Us" I went on the search for more books written by Ms.Umrigar. First Darling of the Morning is spellbinding - it just gets under your skin and every time you are forced to put the book down you can't wait to pick it back up to find out what will happen. She is remarkably candid and honest about her family and herself. I appreciated her self-awareness and willingness to reveal her weaknesses and motivations. Her descriptions of herself and her family members are so vivid you feel that you know them and when the book ends you are left wishing there was more. Regardless of race, geography, culture, religion we are all linked by our humanity. Thrity Umrigar's work makes the world a smaller and more compassionate place.

First Darling of the Morning is a series of glimpses into author Thrity Umrigar's childhood, growing up in Bombay at a time when the country of India was still new and unstable. The stories start at a very young age with some of Umrigar's earliest memories and continue until she is twenty years old and leaving India for the great uncertainty of the United States.

This isn't a solid memoir, though; there are gaps in between each story, sometimes of a few days, sometimes of a few years. It allows the author to pick and choose which of her memories she wants to share with the reader. Sometimes they are humorous and sometimes they are incredibly painful. Each is a part of a larger story: the tale of Umrigar's coming of age in an uncertain time.

Though First Darling of the Morning is a memoir, it reads like literary fiction. This is the perfect book for those people who want to read more nonfiction but have trouble with writing styles or pacing. The book itself is relatively short and the words flow like a smoothly moving water; Umrigar's writing is simply beautiful. She writes with such longing, in some ways desperate to once again be the child she left behind, to correct all those mistakes she made. However, there is also wisdom behind her words, the realization that she can never return.

Her words also hold great passion. Umrigar portrays what it was to be a conflicted youth in Bombay at a time of unrest. There is no preaching here about what India was or what it has become; it is simply memories, thoughts and observations from someone who lived at a turbulent time. In some ways, India was coming of age at the same time that Umrigar was. And that's what this is at its core: a coming-of-age story. It has all the pain of what it is to grow up, to be a teenager. Anyone of any culture will recognize Umrigar's self-doubt and inner turbulence. You don't need to be Indian to sympathize with her and understand her plight; it is a story that has been told again and again since the beginning of time in a thousand different ways.

However, it is those Indian elements that make First Darling of the Morning special, in many ways Umrigar's tribute to her heritage, to where she came from. It is her signal that she will never forget and never push it aside in shame. She writes proudly with her head held high.

Between the poignancy of the stories and the gravitas and beauty of Umrigar's writing, First Darling of the Morning is a gem that is absolutely not to be missed. I can't recommend it highly enough; I only wish there was more to read. For now, though, readers must settle for this small but satisfying look at one girl's journey to adulthood.

[...]

I picked this book up at our local library, intrigued by the author's name and by the location, Mumbai, birthplace of our precious grandchildren. I decided I should read more and sat down to read for thirty minutes. HOURS later, I looked at the clock amazed by how much time had passed while I had been transported to Mumbai in my mind through the gift of the author, Thrity Umrigar. I loved this book completely! It is a treasure to be owned. I may have to buy a second book, just so I have one to loan to my friends. It's THAT terrific.
This author is not only a master of words and language, she is also a deeply perceptive human being who captures the essence of human relationships in ways that inspire and uplift the reader.
If you take the time to buy and read this book,
you won't regret it. Give yourself this gift!
We are so lucky to have access to her work!
Thank you Thrity. My life is enriched by your work.

Having read all of Thrity Umrigar's works of fiction, I was excited to read her memoirs. Her story of growing up in the Bombay of the '60s and '70s is at once familiar and exotic, life-affirming and heartbreaking.

I was interested to see her writing described as "almost too lush" by another reviewer, as I found this to be stark and almost harsh in many places. The emotional landscape of a gifted and lonely child came through clearly, as did the over-ripe beauty and rottenness that is Bombay. I found myself seeing what she saw, laughing when she laughed, feeling her hearbreak and loneliness. Highly recommended.

I bought this book after reading and falling in love with her fictional work, _The Space Between Us._ I've read many books by Indian authors (Rohinton Mistry, Amitav Ghosh, Jhumpa Lahiri, Kiran Desai) and am not sure why Umrigar isn't as well-known as these other authors (yet). _First Darling of Morning_ is a book about growing up in Bombay. I enjoyed it because it gives a wonderful snapshot of what life in Bombay was/is like, but also because her book is so real. She writes honestly about many topics that are taboo and sometimes avoided in Indian literature, such as unhappy marriages, conflicts with in-laws, the long-term effects of tuberculosis, and class divisions.

I think this book would speak to anyone interested in India (especially Bombay) or about growing up. Definitely one of the better books I have read about the struggles of adolescence, and the conflict between being what one "should" be versus what one dreams of being.

Loved it. I'll be diving into _Bombay Time_ or _If Today Be Sweet_ next. Spread the word.

Thrity Umrigar, author of best selling novels, The Space Between Us and I Today Be Sweet, is a Parsi who was born and raised in the Hindu city of Bombay (Mumbai), India. Parsis are Indians of Persian decent whose ancestors migrated to India from Iran over 1000 years ago. In this memoir she takes a reflective look at her own childhood and upbringing - from her earliest memories until she left home for grad school in the United States at twenty-one.

Thrity's family, like most of the Parsi families she knew in the 1960s and 1970s, were educated and middle-class. She was sent to a Catholic girls school run by nuns. As she notes at the beginning of her memoir, she is of a generation of Indians who were more familiar with the songs from "The Sound of Music" than with the traditional sitar music of their country. Yet she has friends and acquaintances from a variety of Indian backgrounds, Hindu, Muslin, Anglo-Indian, Christian/Catholic and atheists. It provided a rich tapestry of culture.

On the other hand, Thrity was an only child whose mother was often harsh and unstable. She also shared her home with her father's sister who was always kind and loving, a father who was often too busy at work to pay much attention to home life, and her father's brother's family (uncle, aunt and cousin) who lived just across the hall in their building. She is very candid about her relationships with each of these relatives, often revealing familial information that is frequently difficult to share.

During much of her adolescence, Thrity rebelled in a variety of ways - getting into trouble at school and becoming involved in political demonstrations. She was known in her school as the "mad Parsi" - a title she purposely cultivated by acting out in a somewhat wild manner. I met Thrity Umrigar at a reading at a book festival and it was often hard to imagine that the soft-spoken college professor/author had been the person she was describing.

I enjoyed this memoir immensely. I have read her other books and this one is equally engrossing. The fact that the stories here are true makes it that much better.

Armchair Interviews says: This is a story of personal growth and the changes occurring in India at the same time.

The author's memories of her childhood and adolescence, including both a painful family life and her developing intellectual and artistic character, this book seems a bit disjointed, much like life. Physical and emotional abuse by her mother is never dealt with or resolved; the death of a favorite uncle is also painful. The author's determination to get away from her loving but constantly fighting family by going to school in America is impressive. I can't wait to read the next installment of her autobiography, even though this one was a hard read for such a short book.

Unbelievably beautiful novel of a childhood I can relate to, even 10,000 miles away. Her unique, almost effortless descriptions send emotions soaring.

The wrting is almost too lush. Reading it, I felt almost the way I do when I have eaten something overly sweet - not that the story itself is sweet but there's a surfiet of something - style? Still, it's a compelling story and I learned a great deal about life in Bombay's middle class society, with its remains of British colonialism.

Some of the characters did not ring quite true for me (I didn't understand the mother at all) and many of the insights, purportedly at the time, seemed too advanced for the particular age being written about, even given the intelligence of the author.

Thirty Umrigar clearly is a gifted, sensitive writer but I'm not inclined to rush to read another book by her.

I love the title!

In First Darling of the Morning, memoirist Thritima "Thrity" Umrigar tells of her life of relative wealth and privilege growing up as a Bombayite. Surrounded by the poor, with servants staffing their home, the family is well aware of how the other half lives. Her father, uncle (Babu), and spinster aunt (Mehroo), work in the same lumber factory and are her biggest sources of love and support. Her mother, a cruel, calculating woman that abuses some of the neighborhood children she's hired to tutor, is a thorn in her side.

The woman can write, and I love the honest feel of her memories, especially the self-deprecating, warts-and-all aspect of its telling. Unfortunately, it's those very warts that trouble me. Having been raised in a relatively strict, lower middle-class household by parents of German descent, I just can't help but be irritated by her spoiled-bratty behavior and entitled-seeming attitude, especially considering she is not that much older than I. On a special family outing to the Hanging Gardens, she throws a fit over a melted chocolate bar, ruining the day for everyone. She feels remorse, but in describing her effort to hold back her emotions, she writes (p 19), "My eyes fill with tears but I blink them away, not wanting to draw attention to myself." I'm thinking - what about the part where you threw the silly tantrum? Lacking self-restraint, she ruins an important, expensive item in spite of the knowledge of its value. She behaves badly towards some of (nun) schoolteachers, one of whom she ridicules about her looks and another that she seems intent on murdering. And when she eventually decides to treat the help with a bit of respect (reverting from the usual term "Ganga" for one particular house servant to the more respectful "Auntie," and accompanying her on a family outing), it feels as "too little too late" as her intent in choosing the words for this book's title. In summary, overprivileged, underappreciative girl transforms into skilled-writer adult. Better: A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry, Don't Let's Go to the Dogs Tonight by Alexandra Fuller and Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt.