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First-Time Mom: Getting Off on the Right Foot From Birth to First Grade Paperback – October 1, 2004

3.7 out of 5 stars 31 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Talk show host and prolific author Leman (Making Children Mind without Losing Yours, etc.) dispenses traditional parenting advice to new mothers in this stern but encouraging book. A family psychologist by training, Leman is strongest when dealing with the emotional and psychological aspects of parenting, such as bonding, playtime and discipline. (His philosophy: "I don’t believe spanking is appropriate under the age of two, and I think it runs its course by the age of six.") For Leman, the most important thing a mother can do is to "create a place of belonging and an attitude of family togetherness." He emphasizes the importance of sacrifice, of breastfeeding, of maintaining a romantic marriage and of staying home to raise the kids. Some readers may find Leman’s opinions quite dated. He assumes, for example, that first-time dads aren’t interested in reading parenting books and warns mothers that if they don’t take time off work to raise their own children, they and their child may "end up in some counselor’s office" confronting the problems of detachment and delinquency. Leman’s tone also varies throughout the book. At times, he is almost excessively encouraging ("Good for you. You did it. You’re a parent!"). At other moments, he is winningly realistic ("Parenting is about decades, not days"). Occasionally, however, he can be quite patronizing, as when he uses child-talk to explain to his readers that "babies don’t need daddies to act like mommies or mommies who try to act like daddies." Fans of Leman’s television show, Reality Talks!, will appreciate his practical, fatherly attitude, but those seeking more progressive advice and opinions will be better off looking elsewhere.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From the Back Cover

Wish your child came with an owner's manual?

"First-Time Mom" offers just that-practical guidance and insight on raising your first child-with the right touch of humor, too. Parenting expert Dr. Kevin Leman reveals how you can not only "get through" those first ten exhausting, transitional days, but also create a lifetime bond of emotional security. He explains the differences in the parenting styles of firstborns, middleborns, and lastborns, helping you identify your own strengths and weaknesses.

Whether you've received your incredible gift through birth or adoption, becoming a parent is the most significant task you'll ever undertake. So raise your firstborn right-with confidence and a positive parenting experience. Then watch your child change the world!

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 242 pages
  • Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. (October 1, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0842360395
  • ISBN-13: 978-0842360395
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (31 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #516,608 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By Laura C. Myers on February 12, 2004
Format: Hardcover
This is the first book I've bought while pregnant except for What to Expect When You're Expecting. The approach the author uses here is simple and laid back. Instead of telling you what to do and saying anything different is wrong, he pretty much deals with common sense and the fact that you really can't screw up your child, so stop stressing out about it. He states that all babies, like all pregnancies, are different and unique. Loving your child and bonding is important, yet comes only after bonding with your spouse and keeping your faith strong. I like how he says that too much preparation and worry over what products to use, how to feed, keeping to a schedule, is all unnecessary stress and doing what you feel is right is what is important. It is a great read and easy to follow. I feel a lot better already about bringing my baby into this world knowing I don't have to follow any plan or measure up to any other parent.
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Format: Hardcover
As a first time mom and a lover of all Dr. Leman's books, I found this book extremely helpful in putting my own quirky habits into perspective. Dr. Leman covers a lot of topics that are very pertinent to your new change of life. I realized I am a "normal" first-time mom. I also found it very helpful to hear from an experienced dad's(Dr. Leman's) point of view of what a new dad goes through and suggestions to new dads on how to help out. It has helped me understand myself, my husband's point of view, as well as what my new son needs and wants from his new parents! BRAVO Dr. Leman!
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Format: Paperback
First of all, there are two things to know about this book. It is written from a Christian perspective, and it is written by a man. If that doesn't bother you then you may want to pick it up. The main reason I liked the book was the laid-back attitude the author encouraged. I felt he took the middle-ground on a lot of issues. He does believe that it is better for one of the parents to stay home with the kids so if you have a very strong opinion in the other direction you may not appreciate this book. He does say it could be either parent; it doesn't necessarily have to be the mom. This is a little more open-minded than others have been on that same subject.

One of the things that helped me in reading this book was that I had heard the author speak on a video before. He has a very dry-witted sense of humor. He says that kids can be little hedonists sometimes but he says that in a tongue-in-cheek sort of way. If you don't know this going into the book some of the things he says could be offensive if you took them literally.

I felt that the author's attitude helped in being able to take the advice that worked for you and leave the rest. I've never read a parenting book that I've agreed with entirely but I appreciate the way that this was presented and felt I left with some good advice about parenting.
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Format: Hardcover
(...)

The author is an expert on birth order and how it influences personality. Birth order, as the author describes, does not just refer to chronological birth order as the previous reviewer thought. Rather, the author describes several circumstances that can lead a child to behave like a first born (e.g. being the first of the gender in the household--whether it be male OR female child; being born more than 5 years after the next youngest sibling; etc.).

In addition to wonderfully practical advice on what to expect the first 10 days of motherhood, the first year, the toddler years, and pre-school years, the author brings new perspective to these issues when he incorporates his insight on how birth order--your child's and your own--influences your personality and approach to life. The author even gives sound advice on how to raise a child whose personality might "clash" with your own style.

I read this book in my last trimester. It saved my sanity when my child was born. Another friend just read it after her son turned 1 years old and she says she wish she had read it before he was born.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
LOVED THIS BOOK! I like Dr. Leman's stuff so I was excited to begin reading this. My only regret is that I didn't read it as soon as, or even before, I had my baby. I began reading it when she was about six months old. It was an quick and easy read packed full of wisdom.

Some reviewers complained because it was written by a man. So what? He really knows what he's talking about. That didn't make a bit of difference to me. To be honest, there might be some truths that are difficult for moms to swallow, but I was looking for someone who would tell me what I needed to hear about motherhood, not just what would make me feel good. Yes, he does discuss the importance of staying home with your child for the first few years of his or her life. This can be a touchy subject for guilt-ridden moms, but it's worth it to try to understand why he makes the suggestions that he does. Really, though, this book discusses so much more than staying home, and it really could be overlooked in order to examine other important points he makes. Other than that, I didn't find the book to be controversial. I think it applies to moms everywhere who are really concerned about their child's total development.

I definitely recommend this to all moms before they begin reading any other parenting book. It's a great introduction to anything else you might read. For me, reading the book put my mind more at ease and relieved quite a bit of anxiety I had had about motherhood.
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