My First White Friend: Confessions on Race, Love and Forgiveness [Paperback]

Patricia Raybon (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 1, 1997

"In mid-life Afro-American journalist Raybon made a conscious decision to stop hating white people. Her journal/analysis provides discourse on hatred and forgiveness, the rise of her hatred, and her efforts to conquer her fears and forgive the past. An unusual account of conscious change."—Kirkus Reviews.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Newspaper columnist, writer and NPR commentator Patricia Raybon admits that she hated whites for years. She even tried unsuccessfully to whip up a similar rage in her parents. But anger got her nowhere. Eventually, in the philosophies of Martin Luther King Jr. and Mahatma Gandhi, she found an alternative: forgiveness. The first part of the book is a series of essays on the life experiences of herself and her father, and the racial history of the country; it ends with "Letter to My First White Friend," a grateful acknowledgment of a white girl at her mostly white high school. In part two of the book, further essays explore the process of moving beyond hate, and the new world it has opened up for Raybon. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Publishers Weekly

Reared in suburban Denver, a black woman of middle age, an associate professor of journalism at the University of Colorado, Raybon decided to challenge her demons and "trace [her] journey from rage to racial reasoning." This diaristic mix of anecdote and meditation shows her embracing complexity, trying to treat people as individuals while recognizing how race still matters. She writes of her father, an auditor, born poor in Mississippi, who willed himself to be a success in the white world but could never relax. She explores the specter of interracial sex, laden with taboo, and suggests that love would mean a healing, quotidian remedy. She has learned from Gandhi and King, flawed men who found inner peace in larger struggle. Marrying a light-skinned black man had forced Raybon to confront her own color prejudice, while her classroom experience has prompted students and professor alike to challenge their stereotypical attitudes. Raybon's terrain here is not all new, but her confessional has the intimate voice of hard-won honesty.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Reading level: Ages 18 and up
  
• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: Penguin (Non-Classics) (June 1, 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0140244360
• ISBN-13: 978-0140244366
• Product Dimensions: 7.8 x 5.1 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.7 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #325,799 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Are you beautiful today? An odd question perhaps. Yet that's the ground I traveled last year while writing a daily devotional for the One Year® brand called "God's Great Blessings." It's a journey through Scriptural virtues that God blesses, so I loved writing it--despite having doubts the book would sell. That's because another author's devotional was a runaway best-selling hit last year--so I held back on hope for mine.

Still, I gave the book my best. Promoting it faithfully, I also just gave away copies--believing it would encourage people struggling with finances, health, work or family. I enjoyed sharing it, in fact. Not worried about sales, I was shocked after Christmas to learn from my publishing house that "God's Great Blessings" made their Top 10 company bestseller list for the week ending Christmas Day.

Everybody I knew seemed to be reading it. The feedback? "What a BEAUTIFUL devotional! So beautiful and moving! My husband's reading it with me! It starts my day! Such a BEAUTIFUL gift! The leather-like cover feels simply BEAUTIFUL!"

Beautiful. That's what my devotional readers were experiencing. And so was I. Following a path to God's blessings is a journey that takes us to beauty. Inner beauty. Spiritual beauty. Peaceful beauty. Even physical beauty. "And this," says I Peter 3:5, "is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful."

How? With dignity and modesty. With creativity and contentment. With hope and patience. With preparation and persistence. Yes, with every godly virtue explored in my devotional the path leads to blessings of godly beauty.

Looking for beauty in your life? Seek the virtuous blessings of God. "The One Year God's Great Blessings" is a great road map. Take the journey as you let Him bless you daily with His beauty, bounty and blessings.

A LITTLE MORE ABOUT ME
I've been writing since I could read. Half a minute past first grade, I started writing stories--but also looking for answers. That led me, past college, into newspaper journalism. So I left my home state of Colorado to earn a degree in journalism from Ohio State University.

Soon after, however, I returned to Colorado where I landed my first professional job--a reporting position at The Denver Post, covering fires and crimes and such on the city desk. But in short time, I made my way to the paper's features department, writing "human-interest" stories about people trying to live life, get over obstacles, create beauty, find healing and make sense of work, family and love.

WINNING AWARDS
My feature articles won many lovely writing honors, including the First Place Helen Carringer Journalism Award from the National Mental Health Association, a First Place General Reporting Award from the Society of Professional Journalists' Colorado Chapter, several first-place feature writing awards from National Press Women and Colorado Press Women, among others. Then after newspapers, including several years at Denver's beloved Rocky Mountain News, I joined the journalism faculty at CU-Boulder where I taught scores of wonderful journalism students.

Meantime, my personal essays on faith, family and racial healing were published in The New York Times Magazine, Newsweek, USA Today, USA Weekend, Chicago Tribune, The Denver Post, Rocky Mountain News, the Charles Stanley Ministries In Touch Magazine and featured on National Public Radio's Weekend Edition.

PUBLISHING AND SPEAKING
Then I started writing books. My first two are memoirs--"My First White Friend," a personal story on racial healing and a Christopher Award winner, and "I Told the Mountain to Move," a 2006 Book of the Year (Christianity Today Magazine) finalist about my journey as a Christian woman to learn how to pray.

My newest books are a One Year® devotional, "God's Great Blessings," covering 52 virtues that God blesses, and "Bound for Glory," a collaboration honoring African American spirituals and featuring the art of renown calligrapher Timothy Botts.

Authors also speak. So I've been blessed to present keynotes and workshops all over the U.S. to phenomenal groups. As well, I've given more than 100 radio and TV interviews including segments on The Today Show, National Public Radio, Tavis Smiley Show, Talk of the Nation and more.

HOME FIRES
Closer to home, I'm a wife, mother, grandmother, mother-in-law and active member of the historic Shorter Community A.M.E. Church. I also sing second alto in a community choir called The Spirituals Project. Married 35 amazing years to my husband Dan, I have two beautiful grown daughters, one awesome son-in-law and four amazing grandchildren.

In all of this, I seek to live in the spirit of one of my favorite Bible verses, "For I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ; for it is the power of God unto salvation to everyone that believeth." (Romans 1:16, KJV)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

22 of 22 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Ms. Raybon Put Words To The Story Of My Life, February 18, 2000

By 

Lisa S Harper - See all my reviews

This review is from: My First White Friend: Confessions on Race, Love and Forgiveness (Paperback)

I finished the prologue and I cried. Ms. Raybon ends her introduction with a simple statement... "Let the rains fall down on me." In that moment, I knew that by reading this book I was not only going to witness one Black woman's healing process from the pain of racism. I, myself, was committing to enter in and let the rains fall down on me. Miss Raybon's story was my Great grandmother's story, my grandmother's story, my mother's story and my story. I couldn't believe how many of her experiences were not just the random experiences of one Black family. They truly were the recollections of a Black family caught in a tide of Black experience. Ms. Raybon put words to experiences most of us only intuit. She named it and naming it is among the first steps in the healing process. She also "went there". She went places and was gut-level-real about things most Black people know about but never speak of. What courage. In addition to her gut-level honesty, Ms. Raybon is surprisingly well researched. She speaks not only from the gut, but also from a rare place which takes into account historical, psychological and sociological realities which may have influenced her development, as she diligently pursues her own healing. Most of all, I appreciate the acknowlegement that it is her faith alone that gives her the strength - the motivation - even the ability to complete the healing process and be reconciled. Her's is a rare process and one truly born of wisdom and honesty. Her book is a rare kind of book as it chronicles a seldom seen side of racial reconciliation, that of a Black woman. What a breath of fresh air. It was a healing journey to read this book. I highly recommend it for African American people who want an an honest roadmap for their own process of racial reconciliation. It is also a book for people of all races who want to understand the other side of the racial reconciliation process thus far embraced mainly by White America.

18 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars You HAVE to read this book. Have to., December 16, 2000

By 

Linda Adams (Kansas City Missouri) - See all my reviews

This review is from: My First White Friend: Confessions on Race, Love and Forgiveness (Paperback)

I've belatedly begun studying African-American culture and history, and stumbled across this marvelous book. It's not a fast read, because you savor her language--each phrase, each paragraph is rich. But it is a compelling, raw, and honest look at race relations in America, and a very well-written book with beautiful, poignant prose. It should be on _everyone's_ required reading list. I'll try to explain why I feel this way, as this book moved me very deeply.

As a white but "color-blind" American, I feel my life has been vastly enriched by reading this book. I feel I understand so much better what it means to be Black in America from reading Ms. Raybon's words and her heart-wrenching life experiences. I never quite understood racial hatred, posessing none of my own, and through her eyes I began to comprehend the pain many individuals go through every day in this country. I was so unaware, so oblivious to this. My lack of awareness has been a crime. I will never again look at life the same way as I did before reading this book, and for that I am extremely grateful.

As an author myself, and a critical reader, I don't hand out such high praise easily. This book is an absolute must-read for _all_ Americans. Her theme of forgiveness is truly the only way to heal the terrible scars of not only the evils of racism but all human wounds. I would like to thank Ms. Raybon for having the courage to publish this book, and encourage everyone, of all backgrounds, to read it.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars it's more than a book, more like a midwife for forgiveness, August 4, 1997

By A Customer

This review is from: My First White Friend: Confessions on Race, Love, and Forgiveness (Hardcover)

Within this simple text I found a wisdom for our age which still struggles with race, gender and religious diversity. In the unencumbered style of an honest journal, she weaves the stories of growing up "black", from the pain of "degrees of blackness" to the constant dance that unconsciously coreographed relations with "white folks". And then over and above the telling of the story, or perhaps because of it, the sweet experience of compassion, forgiveness and love begins to manifest itself...this book will stay on my nightstand for a very long time