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My First White Friend: Confessions on Race, Love and Forgiveness

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I finished the prologue and I cried. Ms. Raybon ends her introduction with a simple statement... "Let the rains fall down on me." In that moment, I knew that by reading this book I was not only going to witness one Black woman's healing process from the pain of racism. I, myself, was committing to enter in and let the rains fall down on me. Miss Raybon's story was my Great grandmother's story, my grandmother's story, my mother's story and my story. I couldn't believe how many of her experiences were not just the random experiences of one Black family. They truly were the recollections of a Black family caught in a tide of Black experience. Ms. Raybon put words to experiences most of us only intuit. She named it and naming it is among the first steps in the healing process. She also "went there". She went places and was gut-level-real about things most Black people know about but never speak of. What courage. In addition to her gut-level honesty, Ms. Raybon is surprisingly well researched. She speaks not only from the gut, but also from a rare place which takes into account historical, psychological and sociological realities which may have influenced her development, as she diligently pursues her own healing. Most of all, I appreciate the acknowlegement that it is her faith alone that gives her the strength - the motivation - even the ability to complete the healing process and be reconciled. Her's is a rare process and one truly born of wisdom and honesty. Her book is a rare kind of book as it chronicles a seldom seen side of racial reconciliation, that of a Black woman. What a breath of fresh air. It was a healing journey to read this book. I highly recommend it for African American people who want an an honest roadmap for their own process of racial reconciliation. It is also a book for people of all races who want to understand the other side of the racial reconciliation process thus far embraced mainly by White America.

I've belatedly begun studying African-American culture and history, and stumbled across this marvelous book. It's not a fast read, because you savor her language--each phrase, each paragraph is rich. But it is a compelling, raw, and honest look at race relations in America, and a very well-written book with beautiful, poignant prose. It should be on _everyone's_ required reading list. I'll try to explain why I feel this way, as this book moved me very deeply.

As a white but "color-blind" American, I feel my life has been vastly enriched by reading this book. I feel I understand so much better what it means to be Black in America from reading Ms. Raybon's words and her heart-wrenching life experiences. I never quite understood racial hatred, posessing none of my own, and through her eyes I began to comprehend the pain many individuals go through every day in this country. I was so unaware, so oblivious to this. My lack of awareness has been a crime. I will never again look at life the same way as I did before reading this book, and for that I am extremely grateful.

As an author myself, and a critical reader, I don't hand out such high praise easily. This book is an absolute must-read for _all_ Americans. Her theme of forgiveness is truly the only way to heal the terrible scars of not only the evils of racism but all human wounds. I would like to thank Ms. Raybon for having the courage to publish this book, and encourage everyone, of all backgrounds, to read it.

Within this simple text I found a wisdom for our age which still struggles with race, gender and religious diversity. In the unencumbered style of an honest journal, she weaves the stories of growing up "black", from the pain of "degrees of blackness" to the constant dance that unconsciously coreographed relations with "white folks". And then over and above the telling of the story, or perhaps because of it, the sweet experience of compassion, forgiveness and love begins to manifest itself...this book will stay on my nightstand for a very long time

My first white friend tells the life of Patricia Raybon, an African American women growing up in Colorado. Through her life, she felt on the outside because of her race and did not fully trust Caucassions and held a lot of hostility towards them. However, as she grows and matures, Raybon begins to become friends with a white women in high school. Through her life, she is faced with challenges dealing with her race like people questioning her credential when she teachs college. Through her life, Raybon is able to reflect and come with a better understanding of race relations. She begins to realize that the racial hostility she had can be overcome and that we can all get along.

This book is a great book to read regardless of your race or experiences with other races. We can all gain from a book like this.

At first, I wasn't sure I wanted to read this book because of the title. But, I had an occasion to interview the author so I decided I should read the book before I went. I found the book to be exceptional in both the writing and keeping my interest.

This book also helped me in some of my own healing because I related to so many challenges that Patricia speaks about that were directly related to her family. The book was about forgiveness and how one woman decided it was time to move on with her life.

Because I work with women regularly who are attempting to do the same, I will recommend this book to many.

Diana Hart, MA, Career and Life Coach, Hart to Heart Communications, Inc.

In a time when so many authors simply whine about injustice, Raybon does something about it. But what she does isn't the usual attack-the-bad-guy stuff. Instead, she does something much more courageous: she forgives the bad guy. This is a book of encouragement, of hope, of rare character from someone who would have every right to seek revenge. Raybon has written a book that dares us all to look inside ourselves and to God in our quest for harmony with one another.

I couldn't put this book down!! I love her writing style. Easy to read, easy to get into, but not easy to put down. I liked the sharing of other people's lives and struggles that she included such as Ghandi and Martin Luther King. I must admit, I have a few other pages to read before I'm finished, but I want to buy a copy for several of my friends for a Kwanzaa gift, so came online to order. This is a good book for anybody to read. And I strongly recommend it to any 'haters'. Hopefully your viewpoint will change too!

I brought this book because I couldnot put her other book. This book is interesting because it deals with issues in my own life.
It lends it self to a therapy session everytime you pickup the book. I am not Afro- American but I am Hispanic and have dealt with alot of the same issue that Pat has. But not to the extend she has. She has a way of writing that by the time you finish the chapter you have really gotten to the core of the matter being spoken about.
I will continue to look for books by this author she is great!

Growing up in a part of Wichita, KS. Where it was an all white neighborhood, and then they started busing. I was the first one to volunteer to go on a two week experimentalbusing. And while the principal and my parents were some what concerned, they also understood that it was something that I really wanted to do. It was the best two weeks of my life as far as my years in K-6 are concerned. I couldn't wait until the list came out to see if my birthday was selected as one to be bused. Anyway, when it wasn't. I was still thrilled that we were going to have a group attend Riverside Elementary. Which is where I attended. And all the friendships that I made back in the 60's we are still friends to this day. And even though I don't have an opportunity to see anyone that often. My life is still much richer from those friendships. I also became good friends with a little girl who was about three years younger than I, but I invited her to Girl Scouts and she was the first Black Girl Scout in Wichita. We are also still good friends. I only hope that others will read this book with an OPEN MIND as well and realize that we are all on this earth together and that we can all be friends. We all have something to share, Alica first said to me "Don't you know who I am"?? I told her that she was Alica. And she said "No my mommy is white and my daddy is Black". I told her that, that was wonderful. That she had two loving parents. Who taught her to be proud of who she is. We spent the night at each others house a few times. And often ate dinner together. When ever I am in Wichita and she sees me where ever I am at she always runs up to me and we exchange hugs. Especially in todays time and the way the world seems to be divided in so many different ways, I only hope and pray that we can help our children to not just look at a persons skin but to look deeper. And that we are all different because that is the God intended for us to be.

My First White Friend: Confessions on Race, Love and Forgiveness is an excellent read. It is more about race, love and forgiveness than the friend. Patricia Raybon really shared her heart and journey with us. This was my second book by this author. I would love to read more of her work.