Firstborn Advantage, The: Making Your Birth Order Work for You [Hardcover]

Kevin Leman (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 1, 2008

Firstborns were born to win. Clearly the natural movers, shakers, and leaders of this world, they can accomplish anything they set their minds to. They're the high achievers, the benchmark-setters, the business moguls, the concert violinists, the heads of the PTA. But if they're out of balance, they can be overly perfectionistic, driven, and critical. They can become controllers (everything has to go their way) or pleasers (exhausting themselves in meeting the demands of others). In The Firstborn Advantage, bestselling author, humorist, and internationally known psychologist Dr. Kevin Leman identifies the qualities of firstborns...and there's a hook. Just because you're the firstborn child in the family doesn't mean you'll have a firstborn personality. You can be #3 in a group of 4 siblings, and still have a firstborn personality! Dr. Leman reveals why. He helps firstborns understand their natural advantages--while becoming aware of their weaknesses and learning how to sidestep them--for the highest level of personal success at home, at school, at work, and in relationships. This fun, informative, and practical book will keep readers engaged and provide many "aha!" moments.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

What do Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie have in common? And how do they share that certain something with Ulysses S. Grant? They're all first-borns, and in this breezy book, psychologist and birth order expert Leman delves into how birth order influences the first-born personality and upends some conventional thinking (e.g., only children and the first child of either sex is automatically a first-born—hence Jolie who has an elder brother can be classified as such) and illustrates first-borns' classic traits: reliability, perfectionism, a penchant for list making and black-and-white thinking, some social introversion but strong leadership abilities. Gender, parental treatment and family size are just as important as chronology, argues the author, who does an admirable job balancing the hope and hype of familial ranking and integrates compelling theories about how schooling and relationships work to address how first-borns can maximize desirable personality traits and minimize liabilities. His spirited and exceptionally easy read will appeal to those readers interested in understanding better whence they came and how to move forward with success. (Sept.)
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From the Inside Flap

How can you put your firstborn tendencies to work for you? The Firstborn Advantage reveals the secrets. In this fascinating book, bestselling author, humorist, and psychologist Dr. Kevin Leman shows you how to • take advantage of being a firstborn • overcome the perfectionism that holds you back • learn how to bounce back when you fail • find balance in your work and relationships • find out what you really want from life • motivate your children to do well in school without doing their homework for them • relate to others who are not firstborns--a spouse, a friend, a co-worker Whether you are the firstborn in your family or the functional firstborn, The Firstborn Advantage can help you win every time, all the time, without sacrificing your dreams in the process. Dr. Leman shows you how it's done.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: Revell (September 1, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0800719115
• ISBN-13: 978-0800719111
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.5 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #256,052 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #74 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Siblings

More About the Author

Dr. Kevin Leman, an internationally known psychologist, radio and television personality, and speaker, has taught and entertained audiences worldwide with his wit and commonsense psychology. The best-selling and award-winning author has made house calls for hundreds of radio and television programs, including "The View" with Barbara Walters, "The Today Show," "Oprah," CBS's "The Early Show," "Live with Regis Philbin," CNN's "American Morning," and "LIFE Today" with James Robison, and he has served as a contributing family psychologist to "Good Morning America." He is the founder and president of Couples of Promise, an organization designed and committed to helping couples remain happily married. Dr. Leman is also a charter faculty member of iQuestions.com. He has written over 30 best-selling books about marriage and family issues, including "The Birth Order Book" and "Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage." Dr. Leman and his wife, Sande, live in Tucson. They have five children.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Great Read, November 16, 2008

By 

Stacy "Active Christian Media" (Orange, United States Minor Outlying Islands) - See all my reviews
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Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Firstborn Advantage, The: Making Your Birth Order Work for You (Hardcover)

I have heard Dr. Leman on numerous occasions on the radio, and after one such interview I decided to purchase a copy of his latest book The First Born Advantage.

This book is an easy and great read. It will offer you insight as to the weaknesses and strengths of being a first born child. It will encourage you and make you think, and most importantly, notice the people around you who are first born.

Buy it, you won't be disappointed.

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A great resource for anyone interested in how birth order affects their friends, family or workplace, March 4, 2009

By 

FaithfulReader.com (New York, New York) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Firstborn Advantage, The: Making Your Birth Order Work for You (Hardcover)

What's your birth order? Were you a firstborn, middle child or the baby of the family? Were you an only child? No matter what your birth order, odds are that it's affecting you more than you realize. In THE FIRSTBORN ADVANTAGE, bestselling author Dr. Kevin Leman helps firstborns make the very most of their birth order. Here's the fascinating twist in Leman's assessment: birth order not only deals with the ordinal position of a child but also his or her functional birth position. This means that even if you aren't the oldest in a family, you still may have firstborn tendencies that affect your outlook and approach to life.

Leman points to a variety of variables that play into birth order. For example, if you're from a large family, it's not just the oldest who is a firstborn; there are others with firstborn tendencies. The reasoning is that in a large family of six or eight or more children, the family divides down into subunits. So among the three or four youngest children, one may assume the role as the oldest.

In addition, gender can play a role in firstborn tendencies. Leman writes: "You don't have to be a rocket scientist to realize that if there are four boys and one girl in your family, there's something unique about one of your kids." He points out that both the oldest male and female could have firstborn traits. An age gap of five or more years can also create firstborn traits in a non-firstborn. Other factors that can influence these traits are blended families and significant mental or physical differences among children.

Why is this so important? Because even if you're not a firstborn, you may have firstborn traits. If so, this book is for you! In an easy-to-read manner, Leman takes a good look at the firstborn personality. He notes that firstborns are natural achievers, task-oriented and ready to get things done. But all that drivenness can have a downside as it affects a firstborn's ability to build and maintain healthy relationships. Another struggle is criticism and becoming a flaw picker. Leman offers practical tips and advice on how to turn these weaknesses into strengths. In addition, he encourages firstborns to use their natural abilities in school and at work to their advantage.

One of the best features of the book is that Leman writes as if he's really for --- not against --- the firstborns. He writes with a hope and enthusiasm for firstborns and gives them practical tools on how to get the most out of life. Throughout, he draws on insights from the First Born Girls Social Club and its founder, Laura Carter, as well as stories of firstborns.

Overall, this is a great resource for anyone interested in how birth order affects their friends, family or workplace. Though you may not be a firstborn birth, you may be one by the function in your family, which makes THE FIRSTBORN ADVANTAGE a valuable resource for readers of all ages and birth orders.

--- Reviewed by Margaret Oines

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Now I get it!, November 30, 2008

By 

irish girl - See all my reviews

This review is from: Firstborn Advantage, The: Making Your Birth Order Work for You (Hardcover)

I'm married to a super first born who always had me wondering about why he does what he does. After reading this book, I have a better understanding about him and how he operates. I see things differently now, after gaining more insight into what makes him so organized & business-like. I appreciated this book for what it offered me. Although I am the middle child in my family, I bought this book to help me understand my spouse and it really did. Great read. Funny. Insightful.