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Five-Finger Discount: A Crooked Family History
 
 
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Five-Finger Discount: A Crooked Family History [Hardcover]

Helene Stapinski (Author)
3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (50 customer reviews)


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Book Description

March 20, 2001
On a summer night when she was five years old, Helene Stapinski watched out her kitchen window as her Grandpa Beansie was carted off to jail for the last time. Beansie (so nicknamed because he had stolen a crate of beans as a child) had spent the better part of that day in the Majestic Tavern, a dive bar on the ground floor of the Stapinskisí apartment building. As the afternoon wore on, Beansie's usual ranting turned mean. He flashed a loaded gun; a silver .22 glowing in the light from the Yankee game on the tavern TV, and bragged to his drinking buddies that he had a bullet for each of his relatives living above the Majestic. But news traveled fast in the neighborhood, and before Beansie, a convicted murderer and armed robber, could stumble upstairs, the cops had him in handcuffs. The headline in the local newspaper the next day read "Man Seized On Way To Kill 5 Children". As Stapinski writes, Jersey City was a tough place to grow up, except I didn't know any better.

In this unforgettable memoir, Stapinski tells the heartbreaking yet often hilarious story of growing up among swindlers, bookies, and crooks. With deadpan humor and obvious affection, she comes clean with the outrageous tales that have swirled around her relatives for decades, and recounts the epic drama and comedy of living in a household in which petty crime was a way of life. The dinner Helene's mother put on the table (often prime rib, lobster tail, and fancy cakes) was usually swiped from the cold-storage company where Helene's father worked. The soap and toothpaste in the bathroom were lifted from the local Colgate factory. The books on the family's shelves were smuggled out of a book-binding company in Aunt Mary Ann's oversize girdle (or taken by Grandpa Beansie from the Free Public Library). Uncle Henry did a booming business as the neighborhood bookie, cousins did jail time, and Great-Aunt Katie, who liked to take a shot of whiskey each morning to clear her lungs, was a ward leader in the notorious Jersey City political machine.

No backdrop could be more appropriate for the Stapinskis than Jersey City; a place known for its ties to the Mafia, industrial blight, and corrupt local officials, and the author ingeniously weaves the checkered history of her hometown throughout the book. Navigating a childhood of toxic waste and tough love, Stapinski tells an extraordinary tale that, unlike the swag of her childhood, is her very own.

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Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Fans of Mary Karr's groundbreaking memoir The Liars' Club will relish the similarly funny, tough-minded tone of Helene Stapinski's recollections centering on her family's petty criminal history in the sordid precincts of Jersey City. But Stapinski is nobody's clone; her autobiography has a tart, distinctively urban Northeast flavor that will ring a bell with anyone familiar with America's aging, deteriorating cities. You can practically smell the soap suds from the local Colgate factory and the stink of the bone-rendering plant in nearby Newark; people didn't settle in Jersey City, writes Stapinski, "they settled for Jersey City ... they settled for less." She was 5 years old in 1970 when her Italian American grandfather was arrested for threatening to shoot her whole family, capping a long career that included armed robbery and beating his children. The Polish American relatives on her father's side included a bookie and an epileptic prone to fits of rage who nearly killed a sibling by breaking his back. None of this was a big deal in Jersey City, notes Stapinski, who deftly interweaves her family's story with the rancid saga of Hudson County's corrupt political machine. She fled to college in Manhattan and a career in journalism without ever really escaping the ties of blood and loyalty; her frank rendering of her mixed feelings as Jersey City was slowly upscaled reminds us what is gained and lost through gentrification. Stapinski's salty, savory account conveys the gritty, enduring legacy of Jersey City: "so tough, I was always prepared for what might come my way." --Wendy Smith

From Publishers Weekly

"The night my grandfather tried to kill us, I was five years old, the age I stopped believing in Santa Claus, started kindergarten, and made real rather than imaginary friends." This chatty and often engaging memoir of growing up among a rogue's gallery of tough characters may leave readers thinking Stapinski might have been better off with an imaginary family. Reminiscent of Michael Patrick McDonald's highly praised All Souls: A Family Story from Southie, but without that book's overwhelming moral force, this is the sad, often funny story of Stapinski's extended family of grifters, con men and women and petty crooks. At its best, it's a vivid portrait of working-class life in Jersey City, N.J. But too often it veers uneasily between disarming anecdotes (Stapinski's grandfather steals books from the public library where he works as a security guard) and terrifying details of lives out of control (her father almost loses his legs because of untreated but obvious diabetes), and doesn't sustain dramatic intensity. Stapinski, who has written for the New York Times and New York magazine, can be funnyAas in her descriptions of attending New York University, where she meets Jews, punks and lesbians, and reads the Village VoiceAand even illuminating, as when she describes the Machiavellian, if mundane, workings of the multitude of patronage systems that have corrupted Jersey City politics. Though she has a good eye for the details of family and community life, too often the emotions in this memoir feel imagined, not real. (Mar.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Random House; First edition. edition (March 20, 2001)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0679463062
  • ISBN-13: 978-0679463061
  • Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6.2 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (50 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,583,259 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

50 Reviews
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Average Customer Review
3.6 out of 5 stars (50 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars An enjoyable, non-taxing read, December 26, 2001
This review is from: Five-Finger Discount: A Crooked Family History (Hardcover)
I am not a huge fan of memoirs but I found Helene Stapinski's family history to be an interesting and well-organized read of life in Jersey City, as she and her family lived it. I am surprised at other reviewiers taking offense to her descriptions of her hometown and her views - while I found Ms. Stapinski to be opinionated, I also found that she did an excellent job of maintaining an emotional distance from the "story". I enjoyed peering into this life, with its stolen luxuries and potential for destruction - I don't imagine that this memoir is much different than what many others remember, or are experiencing now. While the book is not very cheerful, it is an honest and poignant view of a memorable childhood. I recommend Five Finger Discout for both its historical interest and its unique ability to draw the reader into the world of petty crime and abuse and for its understanding of family dynamics and loyalties. Not everyone grew up in Mayberry!
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars What a family !, May 22, 2003
Helene Stapinskis story of her Polish immigrant family is a real eye-opener into the way of life of a New Jersey family of crooks. Tony Soprano eat your heart out ! Almost without exception, the males in the family are either in jail, going to jail or coming out of jail and are into every lurk and perk possible.The boys in the extended family have no hope from childhood, growing up in a depressed neighbourhood amongst ugliness in the old buildings and deserted factories. Getting food and "swag that fell off the back of trucks"is a way of life and conditions them to thinking that stealing is ok if you're not caught, right from childhood. I found it an interesting read as it exposed a world totally foreign to me and almost nonchalantly recorded the chicanery of the local political systems. It could have been a very depressing story except for the way that she describes the strength and weaknesses of the women of the family who hold the whole structure together.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars The Town and the Family, August 30, 2002
By 
Richard Wells (Seattle, WA USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
In "Five Finger Discount," Helene Stapinski has given us a memoir of both a town and a family. Jersey City, NJ, has long been considered the most corrupt town in the US, and from Ms. Stapinski's history of crime and politics the town deserved its appellation. It also seems her family deserved its place in the town, with a history of petty crime that started with the grandparents and ran its way through the generations. Although "Five Finger Discount," is localized, I think Ms. Stapinski has written about many Northeastern, immigrant, industrial communities. I grew up in Erie, PA, and her stories were not foreign to me. The numbers, the goods fallen off the backs of trucks, the crooked politicians and police figured enough in my life, and in the life of the Polish ghetto we finally escaped that "Five Finger Discount," could have easily been about Erie, if not in kin, at least in kind.

The one shortfall of this memoir occurs within the memoir of place. For a non-Jersey-ite I felt the extent of the history of Jersey City slowed the narrative. I could have done with less. For folks who live in the region, however, I'm sure the history will prove fascinating. Whenever my interest would lag, though, "Five Finger Discount," would return to the family. The strength of the memoir lies in the melding of both, but for me the family stories proved more rewarding than the sociology.

I'd recommend this book to anyone interested in a good family story mixed with true crime.

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First Sentence:
The night my grandfather tried to kill us, I was five years old, the age I stopped believing in Santa Claus, started kindergarten, and made real rather than imaginary friends. Read the first page
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
ward leader
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Mary Ann, Hudson County, New York, City Hall, Uncle Henry, North Bergen, Uncle Tommy, Medical Center, Victory Hall, Uncle Andrew, New Jersey, Jersey Citizens, Statue of Liberty, Cold Storage, Sister Grace, Holland Tunnel, Hudson River, Puerto Rican, Sussex Street, Warren Street, Ellis Island, Uncle John, Ash Wednesday, Frank Hague, Grand Street
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