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The Five Keys to Mindful Communication: Using Deep Listening and Mindful Speech to Strengthen Relationships, Heal Conflicts, and Accomplish Your Goals Paperback – April 10, 2012


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 224 pages
  • Publisher: Shambhala; 1 edition (April 10, 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1590309413
  • ISBN-13: 978-1590309414
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #158,500 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

“In a clear and at times humorous style this encouraging book gives our heart the green light to open. Susan Chapman presents accessible practices from Buddhism and the best in psychology to help this happen.”—David Richo, author of Coming Home to Who You Are

“This is an invaluable resource for anyone who longs for connection with others. Susan Chapman’s simple explanations and engaging stories provide us with practical tools that let us recognize our shared humanity, moving us from a ‘me-first’ approach to a ‘we-first’ one.”—Karen Kissel Wegela, author of The Courage to Be Present and What Really Helps

About the Author

Susan Gillis Chapman is a marriage and family therapist who has been studying and teaching mindfulness meditation for over thirty years. She is the founder of the Green Light Institute, through which she offers training in mindful communication to couples, therapists, and business people. For more information visit www.susangillischapman.com.

Customer Reviews

4.2 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

27 of 29 people found the following review helpful By Anna from InannaWorks on April 21, 2012
Format: Paperback
Susan Chapman specializes in mindful communication. Whether she is approaching that specialty from the professional perspective of a family and marital therapist, or from the perspective derived from her years of Buddhist practice, her goal is the same: to increase positive communication between human beings. She believes that it is the true key to improving our struggling society. She believes her goal is achievable. She has watched for decades as the principles outlined in the book have helped people alter their relationships and their lives.

Practicing what she preaches, she presents her ideas in a nonjudgmental, compassionate, and open-ended manner. She uses the simple metaphor of a traffic light to help readers categorize their reactions and responses and recognize when changes need to be made. She adds "Journal Exercises" throughout to help us put our new awareness into action. She provides gentle guidelines for practicing meditation so that we can use that tool to relax and untangle our thoughts.

The ideas in this book will open the door for tremendous self-healing even before they are applied to communication with others. Change begins with the conversations we have with ourselves. This book begins there and then shows us how to apply what we've learned to every other aspect of our lives. It is down-to-earth, filled with positive and possible suggestions, and realistic in both its goals and its expectations. I highly recommend it.

(InannaWorks.com received a free review copy of this book.)
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11 of 14 people found the following review helpful By AdorableVixen on August 19, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Within the first few chapters contained very powerful suggestions that really did help my fiance and I communicate better. I would reccomend this book to any couple that needs help listening to each other.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By md on October 23, 2014
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While there is some valuable insight hidden within this book, I didn't feel like the book did a good job at conveying the most essential points. The writing was not very concise or well-organized, so that by the end of the book I still didn't feel like I fully understood the analogy of red-yellow-green light communication that the author had used over and over again throughout the book. I finished the book feeling like I got something out of it, but not really sure about what that something was or how to apply it to my relationships.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Avid Reader on April 25, 2014
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This isn't a book that can be read quickly because the wisdom that is there takes awhile to process. For example: The idea that to be defensive is the same as "toxic certainty"--and this did ring true in my own relationships. After reading this book, I walked away with a better understanding of how to improve my communication with others.
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Silas Rosenblatt on December 2, 2014
Format: Paperback
The Five Keys to Mindful Communication is a game changer for anyone seeking to understanding the deep roots of the modern relationship dilemma. Susan Chapman effortlessly weaves clinical expertise with her deep insights into the nature of mind and Buddhist psychology. The result is a simple and clear system for creating safety, trust and connection (green zones), even in the most challenging relationships or circumstances.

If you long for a path to deeper intimacy and understanding within your close relationships get this book!
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This book seems like it is going to be simplistic but it is really quite powerful. Ms. Chapman is an excellent writer, enlightening subtle concepts and human processes so that they are accessible and useable to improve ones self awareness when speaking and listening. Since people are different, she offers a variety facets to get you through to a better state in your relationships, both intimate and ordinary.
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More About the Author

Susan Gillis Chapman was born in Montreal, Canada, and grew up in Vancouver, the oldest of five children. She attended the Convent of the Sacred Heart, where she was first introduced to the practice of mindful communication. She later studied literature at the University of British Columbia and received an MA in Buddhist and Western Psychology from Naropa Institute ( University) in Boulder Colorado. Her career as a psychotherapist and family therapist included ten years working in the field of domestic violence. She was clinical director of Tongass Community Counseling Center in Juneau Alaska.
In 2002 she and her husband, Jerry, completed a three year group retreat at Gampo Abbey and they were invited by Pema Chodron to stay on as staff for six more years. Susan was appointed as Druppon, or retreat leader. In 2008 they returned to Vancouver to help care for Susan's elderly parents. Susan is an acharya, or senior teacher, in the Shambhala Community.