The Five Keys to Mindful Communication: Using Deep Listening and Mindful Speech to Strengthen Relationships, Heal Conflicts, and Accomplish Your Goals [Paperback]

Susan Gillis Chapman (Author)

Book Description

Release date: April 10, 2012

Good communication is essential to any healthy relationship, whether it’s between spouses, family members, friends, or co-workers, and mindfulness—the practice of nonjudgmental awareness—can help us communicate more effectively and meaningfully with others in our personal and professional lives. Here, Susan Chapman, a psychotherapist and long-time Buddhist practitioner, explains how the practice of mindfulness awareness can change the way we speak and listen, enhance our relationships, and help us achieve our goals.

Chapman highlights five key elements of mindful communication—silence, mirroring, encouraging, discerning, and responding—that make it possible for us to listen more deeply to others and to develop greater clarity and confidence about how to respond. Other topics include

   • identifying your communication patterns and habits;
   • uncovering the hidden fears that often sabotage communication;
   • staying open in the midst of difficult conversations so that we can respond wisely and skillfully;
   • and learning how mindful communication can help us to become more truthful, compassionate, and flexible in our relationships.

Editorial Reviews

Review

“In a clear and at times humorous style this encouraging book gives our heart the green light to open. Susan Chapman presents accessible practices from Buddhism and the best in psychology to help this happen.”—David Richo, author of Coming Home to Who You Are

“This is an invaluable resource for anyone who longs for connection with others. Susan Chapman’s simple explanations and engaging stories provide us with practical tools that let us recognize our shared humanity, moving us from a ‘me-first’ approach to a ‘we-first’ one.”—Karen Kissel Wegela, author of The Courage to Be Present and What Really Helps

About the Author

Susan Gillis Chapman is a marriage and family therapist who has been studying and teaching mindfulness meditation for over thirty years. She is the founder of Greenlight Communications (www.greenzonetalk.com), through which she offers training in mindful communication to couples, therapists, and business people.

Product Details

• Paperback: 224 pages
• Publisher: Shambhala; 1 edition (April 10, 2012)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1590309413
• ISBN-13: 978-1590309414
• Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #32,523 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Susan Gillis Chapman was born in Montreal, Canada, and grew up in Vancouver, the oldest of five children. She attended the Convent of the Sacred Heart, where she was first introduced to the practice of mindful communication. She later studied literature at the University of British Columbia and received an MA in Buddhist and Western Psychology from Naropa Institute ( University) in Boulder Colorado. Her career as a psychotherapist and family therapist included ten years working in the field of domestic violence. She was clinical director of Tongass Community Counseling Center in Juneau Alaska.
In 2002 she and her husband, Jerry, completed a three year group retreat at Gampo Abbey and they were invited by Pema Chodron to stay on as staff for six more years. Susan was appointed as Druppon, or retreat leader. In 2008 they returned to Vancouver to help care for Susan's elderly parents. Susan is an acharya, or senior teacher, in the Shambhala Community.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

20 of 21 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A very practical application for mindfulness! April 21, 2012

By Anna from InannaWorks

Format:Paperback

Susan Chapman specializes in mindful communication. Whether she is approaching that specialty from the professional perspective of a family and marital therapist, or from the perspective derived from her years of Buddhist practice, her goal is the same: to increase positive communication between human beings. She believes that it is the true key to improving our struggling society. She believes her goal is achievable. She has watched for decades as the principles outlined in the book have helped people alter their relationships and their lives.

Practicing what she preaches, she presents her ideas in a nonjudgmental, compassionate, and open-ended manner. She uses the simple metaphor of a traffic light to help readers categorize their reactions and responses and recognize when changes need to be made. She adds "Journal Exercises" throughout to help us put our new awareness into action. She provides gentle guidelines for practicing meditation so that we can use that tool to relax and untangle our thoughts.

The ideas in this book will open the door for tremendous self-healing even before they are applied to communication with others. Change begins with the conversations we have with ourselves. This book begins there and then shows us how to apply what we've learned to every other aspect of our lives. It is down-to-earth, filled with positive and possible suggestions, and realistic in both its goals and its expectations. I highly recommend it.

(InannaWorks.com received a free review copy of this book.)

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Very Helpful! August 19, 2012

By AdorableVixen

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

Within the first few chapters contained very powerful suggestions that really did help my fiance and I communicate better. I would reccomend this book to any couple that needs help listening to each other.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Interesting December 19, 2012

By Megan L Bosak

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

This book provides good examples and is well written however it can be a bit redundant in the information it provides. It does describe some practical steps (which are wonderful) but does not provide enough practical application and ideas. Overall worth reading.