Customer Reviews

The Five Love Languages: Men's Edition: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate

5 star:		(43)
4 star:		(12)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

If you've already read "The Five Love Languages," don't waste your money since it's the exact same book with minor changes in print style to make it more "masculine." There are a few minor additions at the end of each chapter, focusing his recommendations more to the men's point of view. However, billing this as a separate edition is nothing more than false advertisement.

I've been happily married for over a quarter century. My husband is my best friend, as well as business partner, lover, and the person I giggle with most often. We've encountered a lot of people who wonder how we are still in love, while their relationships failed, or when they found themselves in well-upholstered traps. And the truth is that I don't really know what we've done differently; the only thing I can say is that we make it safe to communicate with one another. Surely, there's more to it than that?

I admit I was intruiged; the author of this book says that we each express (and need) love in one of five ways: quality time, acts of service, gifts, physical touch, and words of affirmation. While I find the (over?) simplification a little *TOO* simple (there's one anecdote that could as easily have come out of the Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus book), I also think there's a bunch of truth in his "five love languages."

Based on Chapman's definitions, my husband and I are motivated by the same "love language." That probably makes it easier for us to make each other happy; it's easy for me to give based on what I want to get. (I.e. I'd love it if he made me a cup of tea when I have a cold, so I tend to make him a cup of tea. In our case, that works. Someone else, who feels most loved with Gifts, would be more cheered by finding a rose on his pillow.)

I also see how some relationships I've observed (my parents, for instance) had built-in friction because they wanted different things -- one wanted to hear supportive words, and the other wanted "acts of service."

So yeah, I can buy into this stuff. Not obsessively so, but it's another useful way to help us understand one another.

The Five Love Languages is a quick and easy read, and like a lot of such books there's a lot of repetition and plenty of anecdotal examples. (A friend once pointed out that most "relationship" and self-help books have the major message on the cover, usually in the title.) Some of the text is overkill, a bit, but not annoyingly so. It does stay interesting.

If you aren't a practicing Christian, you might be a little less thrilled with the book. While Chapman isn't heavy handed about the Jesus references, and I dare say they make his message palatable to Christians ("...I also had the feeling that if the experiment was going to get off the ground, it would be because of Ann's deep faith in God"), I sure didn't need to hear it. It never reached the fingernails-on-blackboard stage for me, but you might be more sensitive to such things. (Or, if you're Christian, it'll help you find a context for his message. I don't really think it's necessary, though.)

Overall, I'm glad I spent a couple of hours reading the book, and I see a few ways that I can put it to work. It's worth reading.

I enjoyed this book on many levels. It presented such an easy concept, yet very hard to identify if untrained. I have learned how to identify what actions to help those around me feel loved by me. It helps to learn the love languages so that you aren't putting out alot unrealized effort to show love that isn't recognized as so. I have noticed a difference in the response of my children, and my wife. I have also been able to identify my own love language and in turn have been able to express my desire to my wife. This book is a good, informative, and thought provoking read.

I am have been reading self, family, relationship Help books for YEARS, and of them all this book which I purchased in the audio format is now one of 2 I would recommend, and have recommended to couples who feel hopeless, unloved and frustrated in their marriages. In my own marriage, I felt as though I had become more like an appliance. I felt as though again I had made a mistake about getting married. How I was treated before marriage seemed completely different after marriage. I was not feeling loved. No matter how hard I tried I could not seem to communicate to my spouse what I needed to feel loved. I will be honest, I had all but given up hope on having that marriage we all dream of, divorce was not an option and so I came to find a book in audio format as my husband was not a big book reader. Thank you Gary Chapman. Upon receiving the cd I showed it to my husband and asked him if he could listen to it on his way to work. I gave him time, and about a week later he called me from work, which he rarely does, to tell me "honey the light has come on". I get it now. He had always thought his working was enough for me to feel loved, or his just saying "I Love You". These were great but not what I needed. He now knows how to make me feel loved, and I too am more aware of ways in which I can make him feel loved. After all isnt that all we really wanted, to be married, and feel loved? This is not a religious based book, although it is used in a few analogies to explain his point. Excellent, highly recommended.

This is an Excellent book. Both my husband and I enjoyed it so much we bought copies for our family members. A must for every married couple or a couple considering marriage

This book was recomended by a friend. I found it to be everything expected based on that recomendation and more. I am ordering a dozen copies and giving them to friends because I believe that this book has the ability to change peoples lives in a very positive way. I believe that everyone should read this book as a condition for marriage, and if already married they should read it ASAP to improve the quality of their relationship. I've been married and divorced three times, and never truely understood why until I read this book.

This book has been wonderful!! It was a blessing in disguise. My husband listened to it on CD while I listened to the original version on CD.... needless to say, we are both more aware of what the other needs to feel love. Our marriage has improved tremendously as we seek to fill each others love tank!!!

I really enjoyed the clear and simple ways outlined to improve your marriage and loving relationships. My husband loved the CD format, so that he could listen in his car while driving to work. The advice works!

it was my husband's idea to read this book together when we first started dating. boy did it make a difference!

the book actually reads really fast. i would recommend taking the test first to find out your love language and your mate's, then read the respective chapters on those 2 languages first, then read the rest of the book.

this should seriously be a requirement for engaged couples.

without having read it, my husband and i would be miserable.

Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages" was a really sincere and instructive read. Chapman believes that all people feel and receive love in one of five ways, and that if you decode your partner's "love language" - for example, your signifcant other might be more beholden to compliments rather than gifts, or help with chores, etc. - that by communicating in that language, you can reach him/her with your love. Reading Chapman's book, therefore, has the feel of a cook book, with simple recipes for enhancing your relationship with your loved one.

The book reminded me of my favorite relationship book How To Create a Magical Relationship, by Ariel and Shya Kane. Both books emphasize many of the same key points, such as the importance of honesty and true listening. The Kanes, however, feel no need for general decoding of your partners' needs. Rather, these authors support the notion that being in the moment is all that's necessary to love your partner fully.