Customer Reviews

The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die

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Looking to our elders for guidance is a time honored and wise practice that unfortunately is not played out often enough. John Izzo encourages us to go back to that tradition in his book "The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die." Seeking the secrets to happiness, it makes sense to look to those who have lived it.

John interviewed over 200 people, all over the age of 60 and some up into their hundreds, who had been identified by their own friends and family as "the one person they knew who had found happiness and meaning." These people were asked such questions as: "What has brought you the greatest sense of meaning and purpose in life?" and "What is the greatest fear at the end of life?" They were asked to finish the sentence: "I wish I had..." These elders came from all walks of life and acted many roles; some were authors, professors, or business owners, others were a nurse, psychologist, biologist, and a barber. Amazingly, or expectedly, their answers were quite similar. Therein are the five secrets.

The first, and only one I will divulge, is "Be True to Your Self." Of course this can mean different things to each person who reads the words, but author John Izzo guides readers to the purpose behind them. His guidance leads one to ask in this chapter, "Am I following my heart?" "Is my life focused on the things that really matter to me?" and "Am I being the person I want to be in this world?" Answering these questions will lead a person to be true to themselves. Izzo demonstrates the secret by sharing stories from his interviewees. They share by example, much as elders have done since the dawn of humanity. This brings the secret to life for us, and then Izzo gives us homework. He gives us questions to ask ourselves each day or week, that bring the secret home and to the front of the mind. Practice, practice, practice. And so on, with each of the five secrets.

This book is a gem. It is an obvious quest to go to our wise members of society and seek answers to life's questions, but many of us no longer do it. "The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die" does it for us, and hopefully will prompt us to do it ourselves with our own elders. The stories here are all about living wisely, living in the moment; some are funny, while others are poignant. All should be thought-provoking. The consistency of the lessons makes for an easy to understand and digest plan. Taking one secret at a time to work on may be best for some people, pausing in the consumption of the book to work on that particular goal. Other may devour the entire book in one sitting and go back to reflect more carefully as they consider each message. The end result is surely one that will be self fulfilling and inspired. While the title may cause one to stop for a second, for good reason and cause, the content and purpose is wisdom.

John Izzo interviewed 200+ people over the age 60 who were described by many others as happy and wise people. Through in-depth interviews, he learns the five secrets of life:

1. Why do some people find meaning & die happy
2. Why I talked to the town barber (and 200 other people over 60) about life
3. The first secret: be true to your self
4. The second secret: leave no regrets
5. The third secret: become love
6. The fourth secret: live the moment
7. The fifth secret: give more than you take
8. When you know you have to go (putting secrets into practice)
9. Preparing to die well: happy people are not afraid to die
10.A final lesson: it's never too late to live the secrets
Epilogue: How this book changed me

The author writes in conversational tone and supported his secrets with colorful anecdotes and personal reflections. For example, in the second secret (leave no regrets) Izzo states that in "his experience from the last 30 years, validated in these interviews, death is not what we fear the most. When we have lived life fully and done what we hoped to do, we can accept death with grace. What we fear most is not having lived to the fullest extent possible, to come to the end of our life with our final words being `I wish I had.'...to leave no regrets we must live with courage, moving toward what we want rather than away from what we fear."

While the 5 secrets aren't a surprise to many, there are many powerful insights in this book that leave you thinking. And while it's one thing to know the secrets, it's an entirely different (and more difficult) matter to put them into action.

If you enjoyed this book, pick up John's Izzo other gem - Second Innocence.

What are the secrets to finding happiness and living wisely? This second line of the first chapter captures the purpose of Dr. John Izzo's new book The Five Serects You Must Discover Before You Die (2008 Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc.). The book is an urgent plea to the reader to embrace life--in ever encounter, every experience, every emotion every single day.

Izzo proposes we do that by accepting that life is limited to an unknown amount of time for each of us but that within this limited time we have unlimited opportunities to choose to find meaning by living a purposeful life and thereby find happiness.

He interviewed several hundred older people--"wise elders"--based on the recommendations of persons who recognized them as sources of wisdom. In this way, Izzo turns to ordinary folks who have lived full lives for the wisdom necessary to do the same. If other great teachers of our time and previous times have said it before, so be it. Now we receive the wisdom from the local barber, the Holocaust survivor, the grandma on the porch rocker.....All of Izzo's sources are over 60 because, the author said, this is the age at which most people tend to reflect on life. They're done having and getting; they are looking back on all that they have done.

This diverse group offered insights that came down to these five points:

1. Be true to yourself by living with intention. Know your heart's desire and seek it.

2. Live with no regrets. Regrets, Izzo said, are most persons' biggest fear--not dying itself. So mend fences, make peace, and move your life into a place of peace. The best way to live without regret, Izzo says, is to take chances, pursue those dreams, and accept the failure that might be your way. Rather than be crushed by failure, learn from it.

3. Become love. Love is not an emotion but a choice, a way of being that involves seeing ourselves and others with kindness and compassion. That love creates the opportunities to follow your bliss, heal hurts in yourself and others, and to find peace despite challenges and hardships.

4. Live in the moment. Right here right. That's all.

5. Give more than you take. Izzo explores that wonderful idea of finding yourself and then losing yourself. Once you identify your heart's desire and live your life pursuing it, the chance of accumulating any regrets is reduced. Once you become love, kindness itself becomes part of your purpose, and each moment offers all the joy of a lifetime. This creates an abundance of resources in the forms of love, trust, hope, joy, kindness, compassion. Draw from this deep well and give it away. Leave the campsite better than you found it, as one wise elder put it.

And then, as the saying goes, you will wake each day knowing it is a good day to die.
Posted by SandyCarlson at 6:51 AM 0 comments

John Izzo, Ph.D., a former minister and a psychologist, developed a television series based on the idea of interviewing 'wise elders' for their insights---people who have lived long lives and have found happiness and meaning in life. He and his co-workers interviewed more than 200 people age 60 and up, all of whom were described by people near to them as having that sort of wisdom. These people ranged from painters to barbers; spiritual leaders to businessmen; Holocaust survivors and victims of racism.

From these interviews emerged five common threads, or 'secrets.' These aren't secrets in the sense of being unknowns---many of us have some idea that these things are important to a good life. They're secrets in the sense that we aren't living them. We aren't applying them. We don't seem to know how to make them work for us from day to day.

Dr. Izzo mines the lives of his subjects, his friends, and himself---as well as his psychology and religious backgrounds---to help us figure out HOW to apply such obvious wisdom to our own lives. It's tempting when faced with an instruction that seems as bland as 'become love' to dismiss it as the suggestion of someone who's lived an easy life and isn't familiar with whatever our own hardships are. It's much harder to maintain that level of skepticism, though, when faced with the very personal stories of people who've survived horrible tragedies and catastrophes and yet gone on to find meaning in their lives.

The only difficulty Dr. Izzo faces with this book is the fact that, frankly, there's a limited amount he can do to teach us to apply these lessons to our own lives. There is no simple prescription for figuring out what your ideal career might be or how to stop worrying about what will happen tomorrow. That said, he does his best to give the reader ideas for where we might start.

The title is kind of gimmicky, the subject sounds overly vague, and the concept sounds like hype. But when you get into the actual book, I think you'll find it filled with surprising wisdom. This material won't be easy to work into your life, but the result is almost bound to be worth the effort.

I like this book because it is straightforward with good stories to provide an effective way of understanding the five secrets. They are not really secrets nor are they new to any reader of this type of book but Dr. Izzo has provided a way to look at them in a different way and in the context of your own life. The stories pack a lot of punch. If you are a reflective person, this book is for you. If you are not, I think it will still get you thinking about how you live your own life.

What a great book! I read about 2-3 books a week, on average, and this is by far my favorite within the past year or so. John Izzo has given us all a gift, a wise and well written guide to what's most important in life. I've been giving this book as a special gift to friends and family, and have even recommended it for an adult sunday school class at my church.

The ancient philosophers of real life, like Cicero and Seneca, would be proud of Izzo for providing this book to us all. I recommend you order a copy for yourself and at least five for friends.

I really liked the author's idea to interview 235 people aged 59 to 105 whom others had identified as having found lasting happiness and meaning in life. He draws on their wisdom and comes up with 5 secrets to a good life that were common to the majority of people interviewed.

As he shares the secrets, he also shares the stories of some of the wonderful people he interviewed. He even includes direct quotes from them at the back of the book. I especially liked a quote from a woman named Bansi who said, "Do good if you can to every person you meet, but always do no harm."

I also really liked his comment that giving more than we take is a secret to happiness because we have a great deal of control over what we give, but almost none over what we get. As he notes, each day we have the power to give without limit.

It was also nice that he added some of his own observations along the way, like encouraging people to live their life rather than judge their life. Additionally, he provides questions for people to ask themselves relative to each secret to help them live the secrets for themselves.

The one downside to the book is that it could have used a bit more editing. For instance, at one point he notes there are 2 levels to the issue of being true to one's self, and he gives the "first" but never gets around to mentioning the "second." Another example is incomplete or redundant sentences. An example of the latter was saying, "The second thing I learned about living in the moment from the people we interviewed is that we must always live in the moment, that the present moment is the only moment in which we have any power."

Despite needing a bit more polishing, the book was a good read and does offer up some great stories and wisdom from those who have lived long and lived well!

I have to agree with the previous reviewer. Izzo has a way of bringing his point home with excellent stories and examples. And being a scientist, I liked his methodology for discovering those five "secrets".

I also like the format - five "secrets" with a few important exercises for each. Books like this are only useful to the degree to which their principles can be put into practice. And having key information distilled down into small memorable chunks helps a lot.

Highly recommended.

Heavy title. Buoying book. Go figure.

When Dr. John Izzo's book, The Five Things You Must Discover Before You Die, came up as a suggestion for me to review and interview, it came with the phrase, "sounds like something you'd like, Jamie."

Oh, really?

I don't read 'those' kinds of books. And I'm terrified of dying. Somebody's messing with me. But I like a challenge. Heh. That which doesn't kill me and all...

I didn't expect to like it and I certainly didn't expect to need it, but it came at a good time. I get the feeling nearly any time would be a good time for this book. It's really very wonderful in concept and execution. Did I just say 'execution' in a review of a book about death? Oh dear. I get a pass, because it's really about life. It's a comfortable, easy read that takes the cliché out of cliché by showing us five invaluable bits of wisdom as applied in the lives of over two hundred impressive and venerable men and women.

Dr. Izzo asked for nominations, from those on his international mailing list, for the one person who had influenced them as wise, as happy, as having found the secret to a sense of fulfillment in their life. Through questionnaire, this list was distilled down to the group that Dr. Izzo and his team interviewed in depth over the course of a year and a half.

What results is an amazingly useful look at what we'll wish we'd known when - let's not beat around the bush; Dr. Izzo doesn't - when we die.

I got to speak to Dr. Izzo about the process of compiling this book, why the secrets aren't secret, and why I'm now walking around with a few words on an index card in my pocket at all times.

The interview can be found in the 'Podcasts' section of jamie-mason dot com. You may just want to buy the book. It couldn't hurt, and it definitely won't kill you.

What better way to learn from the experiences and input of others who have lived a full life! Very enlightening and inspirational. It also reinforces a lot of what I have learned on my spiritual journey these past 10 years. The type of book that you can pick up and re-read, refresh your mind and continue to learn from.