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Five Steps to Forgiveness: The Art and Science of Forgiving [Hardcover]

Everett Worthington (Author)
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)


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Book Description

October 23, 2001
Can you find it in your heart to forgive?

You’ve been wronged, but you want to do the right thing. You want to be free of the burden of a bitter grudge that weighs you down during the day and keeps you up at night. You’re wasting time and energy ruminating, railing, perhaps even plotting revenge. You’re sick and tired of being a victim, but you feel stuck.

You’re not alone. Hundreds of thousands of people are victimized by crime and violence every year, devastated by downsizing at work, or reeling from relationship betrayals, breakups, and other social traumas. The good news is that no matter what your injury, clinical psychologist and researcher Dr. Everett Worthington has found that there is a way to unburden yourself through forgiveness and move ahead with life. His new program, Five Steps to Forgiveness, offers step-by-step advice on how to achieve this breakthrough.

Based on more than a decade of research, including his own work and that of dozens of psychologists investigating the scientific benefits of forgiveness, Dr. Worthington has distilled the REACH plan: Recall the hurt; Empathize with the one who hurt you; Altruistically decide to forgive; Commit publicly to forgiveness; and Hold on to that forgiveness. Dr. Worthington offers simple, clear advice for putting the program to work in your own life and dozens of examples of how others have used it to forgive.

Sometimes you’ll want to do more than forgive—you’ll need to reconcile with the other person, perhaps because you need to continue to work together, share custody of a child, or have another ongoing relationship. Dr. Worthington also takes you plank-by-plank over the bridge of reconciliation.

Studies and clinical practice have demonstrated the effectiveness of the REACH program. Dr. Worthington faced the ultimate test, however, when his mother was brutally murdered in l995. Using the paradigm he had taught so successfully to hundreds of people, he used the REACH program to forgive his own mother’s murderer.

In Five Steps to Forgiveness, Dr. Worthington shares his proven program, the latest research, his own compelling story, and a wealth of wisdom from the experiences of those he has helped to enable you to attain the hope, health, and happiness forgiveness brings.

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Those trying to recover after being the victim of a crime, divorce, layoff or other upset will find solace in Five Steps to Forgiveness: The Art and Science of Forgiving by Everett Worthington. The author suggests a gentle but realistic plan for achieving forgiveness, which he calls the REACH program: Recall the hurt, Empathize with the one who hurt you, Altruistically decide to forgive, Commit publicly to forgiveness and Hold on to the forgiveness. He brings a personal note to his coaching by sharing the story of how he dealt with his mother's murder.

Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist

The author's mother was murdered, yet he somehow managed to forgive the killer. The reader's first question is bound to be: Why would he forgive such a horrible act? The author answers the question in the introduction. Foremost among the reasons he cites is to break the cycle of anger. Then he presents the five steps to forgiveness, which he clearly explains, supplying helpful keys to achieving each step and for moving on to the next level. Examples buttress the author's point that it is possible to forgive what seems unforgivable. The second part of the book is about reconciliation, which is what allows people to go beyond forgiveness. Worthington recognizes that there are reasons why reconciliation may not be possible or even desirable; but for those who want to reconnect a broken relationship or repair one, reconciliation is the key. Marlene Chamberlain
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 288 pages
  • Publisher: Crown (October 23, 2001)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0609609181
  • ISBN-13: 978-0609609187
  • Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.6 x 1.1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,113,451 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

7 Reviews
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Average Customer Review
4.4 out of 5 stars (7 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A Golden Book, December 6, 2001
By 
Elizabeth (Richmond, Virginia) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Five Steps to Forgiveness: The Art and Science of Forgiving (Hardcover)
Dr. Worthington's latest book is certain to lead the reader forward on the path to forgiving another. Five Steps To Forgiveness offers a plan that works when applied to the heavy burden of pain, anger and rage that many carry around. Just as a diet and exercise can do much to reduce unwanted weight. Anger, hurt, pain and rage can cause the bearer's spirit to be weighted. Interpersonal relationships suffer when we have unresolved issues. Five Steps To Forgiveness; The Art and Science of Forgiving is a wonderful resource to enable the reader to begin to rid their spirit of the heaviness of pain, anger and hurt that others have inflicted.

A wonderful gift for those you treasure.

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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Words of Wisdom, December 13, 2001
By 
Alexander (Richmond, VA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Five Steps to Forgiveness: The Art and Science of Forgiving (Hardcover)
I have long been a distant observer of work in the field of forgiveness, so naturally I was interested in reading Dr. Worthington's latest efforts. I was exceptionally pleased to see that he makes no unrealistic promises on individual success, but does offer a way for the individual to learn to deal with his/her own wounds and ultimately forgive the transgressor. He does an excellent job of outlining each of the vital steps to both forgiving and reconciling old wounds. His inclusion of real life examples, both from his own life and the lives of others, on how (and when) to implement these steps, gives this piece a personal touch that allows the reader and the author to relate to one another. In short, this book is a worthy addition to the scientific field of forgiveness, and a powerful psychological tool that we could all benefit from.
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10 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars I Forgave Myself and My Ex, December 8, 2001
By 
Lee (Virginia) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Five Steps to Forgiveness: The Art and Science of Forgiving (Hardcover)
I actually got hooked by this book looking through it at a bookstore. The author tells a great story about how he forgave his mother's murderer, something I don't think I could ever do. I had hated my ex-husband for years, and I had tried hard to forgive. I read a lot of books on forgiveness-both religious and self-help. This is the best I've read. I liked his five steps. They were easy to do and easy to remember, but the best thing was his sections on forgiving ourselves and on talking about old wounds with others (in the last half of the book). His whole approach was really practical. The book was written well, with lots of stories and several laugh-out-loud stories. I have tried to do what the book recommended and I seem to have been able to forgive myself more than ever and to forgive my ex. I don't think I'll ever get completely over our fighting, but at least I could let go of some of my hate and feel some empathy for him. I think this has been pretty much a life changer for me. I recommend this book highly.
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