Customer Reviews

Flawless: The Ten Most Common Character Flaws And What To Do About Them

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After reading the first two chapters of Tartaglia's book, I thought the information was given in somewhat of a shotgun approach: a little bit of everything was coming at me. It seemed that the information was good, but I didn't think the organization (or perhaps the flow) of the material was helpful. Either Tartaglia changed or I got a better handle on his style. Starting with the third chapter, my interest increased all the way until the final chapter.

Tartaglia has submitted ten character flaws for discussion. There's a little something for everyone. The chapter titles are: 1 - Addicted to Being Right, 2 - Raging Indignation, 3 - Fixing Blame and Nurturing Resentments, 4 - The Dread Seekers - Worry and Fear, 5 - Intolerance, 6 - The Poor Me or Martyr Syndrome, 7 - Self-Regard Run Riot, 8 - The Excuse for Everything-Inadequacy, 9 - Hypercritical Fault Finders, 10 - Chronic Dishonesty - The Trap

At the very least, I can assure you that if you read the book honestly, you will learn some things about yourself that you won't like. But Tartaglia gives some good advice on what you can do about these character flaws. He often relates the remedies to Biblical principles, which I appreciated, although I'm not sure that I agree with some of his interpretations. If you are honest with yourself, you'll learn something about yourself and your worldview after reading Flawless.

We all have character flaws, it is an unavoidable fact. We all have idiosyncracies that hinder us at times, and sometimes downright debilitate us! Not only do these flaws make our own lives disappointing, but they make those around us wish that we were not around them! Dr. Tartaglia shows us that these flaws tend to travel in clusters. They spin out of control and perpetuate themselves... "You only need to get one flaw going and the others automatically join. When they are all working in combination you are out of control. When they are out of YOUR control, your life becomes unmanageable."
The "flaws" he examines in this book are very... commonplace. If you honestly ask yourself the 19 questions he places at the beginning of each chapter (why 19? I don't know), you will SURELY find yourself saying "Wow, hey, I do that all the time!" Or, conversely, you will say, "No, I have a lot of problems, but this is not one of them." Make a list. Take notes. It's terribly interesting what you find out about yourself as you read this book. And it's so educationally beneficial and satisfying to place other people in those places that don't apply to you. "Oh, I know someone that is SO EXACTLY LIKE THAT!" etc. etc. You can photocopy those chapters and send anonymous letters!
The chapters conclude with good practical pointers on how to overcome flawed behaviour patterns. The author is witty and has definitely been around the block a few times in his observations about human behaviour. Flawless did not strike me as being notably PROFOUND though... it was just a lot of well-organized common sense, and toward the end it was starting to bore me. But it is always good to be reminded of the importance of common sense, and this book is worth the time.

This book is not really bad, it just doesn't say much. You don't really walk away with good, solid tools you can use to improve your life. You finish the book thinking, "That was interesting." Big deal! If I spend money on a book, I want a little more than something interesting. It suffers from the same defect most therapists suffer from: Too much emphasis on explaining the problem, not enough emphasis on what can be effectively done about it. Too much emphasis on the past, not enough emphasis on the future.

Better tools can be found in books like How to Win Friends, and a new one I just bought by Adam Khan called Self-Help Stuff That Works (Youme Works; ISBN: 0962465674)

"Dr. Tartaglia jump-starts us toward growth by understanding that character flaws are defensive mechanisms. ("Flaws don't occur because people are bad, but because people are hurting." ) He guides us to self-directed change by distinguishing between feats of iron will and the more powerful humility of willingness. Flawless is a powerful, timely guidebook to a healthier, heartier dance through life." --Jim Tunney, Ed.D., Former NFL Referee

This book has not been heavily promoted and that's a pity. It ought to have a wide audience. An excellent, insightful book, easy to read, easy to grasp, and much more useful than most of the pop psychology out there. Get it, read it, take it to heart. Much cheaper and more effective than therapy.

Oh, how I wish I had had this book while bringing up my sons! As it is, all is not lost as it has provided a wonderful starting point for discussions to improve interactions within the family and work relationships. It brings to a conscious level the ability to discriminate, work with, and improve(!)character in a very lucid, practical, and readable (humorous at times) way. It is particularly useful as it flags some problems the nature of our society has made more acute. And it would be especially appropriate for folks who can't accept "preachy" critique. There is an excellent balance between conceptionalization and concrete illustrations that make this accessible to everyone. I highly recommend it!

"Dr. Tartaglia has done it! FLAWLESS is a fascinating, realistic, practical guide to happiness. In fact, in a world of illusory promises, his may be the only reliable prescription for peace of mind and contentment. I do know for sure that this prominent psychiatrist has put his finger on exactly the reasons so many bright individuals fall short of the success they are seeking. Fortunately, this book provides us with many inspiring models for success and with the tools that we can use to fix the flaws that are holding us back. Dr. Tartaglia leaves no doubt that we do indeed have the power to change our lives, to create new selves, and to take charge of guiding our own destinies." --Scott DeGarmo, Former Editor-in-Chief & Publisher SUCCESS Magazine

Dr. T's suggestions work. I used one of his ideas with my son and it diffused the situation in a New York second. The book was funny. I laughed out loud. It doesn't get enough publicity but is one of the best self help books I ever read. Really useful and leaves you hopeful!

At first I thought the book was a little simplistic, but everyday I kept finding myself in situations where this stuff worked. This is a gem! I now realize this book is filled with the wisdom of years of clinical practice. I recommend it. Don't miss that last chapter it's a work of art.

"Flawless! A priceless jewel that show you it is possible by the grace of God to turn your character flaws into character assets." -- Robert H. Schuller, Author, Ten Steps to Financial Freedom and Life's Not Fair, But God is Good