Customer Reviews

Fleeing Fundamentalism: A Minister's Wife Examines Faith

5 star:		(24)
4 star:		(9)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

Carlene Cross' Fleeing Fundamentalism - A Minister's Wife Examines Faith is a courageous narrative that pulls the reader in with a haunting truthfulness and warning about accepting dogma at face value. Ms. Cross bravely opens herself up to the reader and recounts her story with true dignity and grace. At no time does she blame; instead her approach compels the reader to question, question, question. Rather than raging against fundamentalist Christianity, Fleeing Fundamentalism - A Minister's Wife Examines Faith serves as a warning about blind acceptance. How many times in human history have humans blindly accepted the idealism of the day and how many millions have paid a dear price for it?

This book with its message of healing, hope, forgiveness, and triumph is wonderfully written, and the reader is able to connect with the author right from the beginning. The reader is with the author, when as a young girl, she watches her mother bake pies while simultaneously dreaming of studying distant cultures. The reader is also with her as she bravely decides to take her children out of an abusive situation and start a new life. How many can identify with Ms. Cross' despair when she realizes her education-and key to freedom-is in jeopardy? Finally, the reader is right there with her as she finally finds peace after her journey of self-discovery. Five-stars! This book is a must-read!

In this wonderful memoir, Carlene Cross rescues herself and her three young children not only from her failed marriage to a charismatic Fundamentalist minister but from that religion's intolerant and hidebound dogmatism. Her sharp eye for detail and ear for dialogue give dimension and an aching reality to this often harrowing tale. Her predicament is eased, surprisingly, by other church women many of whom, once the surface is scratched, feel as trapped and desperate as she does. Cross puts an honest, all-too-believable face on their shared dilemma. She is brutally honest about her own shortcomings, her trials and her embarrassments but manages to avoid self-indulgence by means of her exuberant style and sheer story-telling verve. The book is both moving and funny, which is a real gift to the reader. It's a story that sticks to your ribs.

Underneath a very engaging and riveting story, there is a quest for the truth about Christianity. Most Christians never take the time to question their religious beliefs and to look at the history of this religion which has changed radically since its beginnings.

Carlene found that Christian fundamentalism is, at its roots, not based on the teachings of Jesus, but a perversion of and misinterpretation of the Bible to justify prejudices and bigotry. If you read this book and want to know more, I recommend Rescuing the Bible from Fundamentalism: A Bishop Rethinks the Meaning of Scripture by John Shelby Spong. This is a meaty book that will shock, as well as educate you, about Bible scholarship and the history of Christianity. As a Christian, this book did not damage my faith, but rather helped me understand how the Bible has been misused to support political and social agendas.

What a brave and inspiring story! I read this book in the span of a weekend and couldn't put it down. Carlene Cross is a talented and eloquent author who draws you in to her spiritual journey, and it's a ride you don't want to miss. I admire her honesty (and courage!) to take an inward look at herself and her beliefs. She is extremely well-versed in religious studies and has an ease in describing religious history and philosophy. Whether you consider yourself devout, agnostic, or somewhere in between, there is something for everyone in this book.

This book threw my entire weekend off schedule because once I started reading it, everything else went to the back burner. This is a powerful and beautifully written story about the author's journey from a life of repression and hypocrisy to a world in which critical thinking and intellectual curiosity were vehicles of personal growth and enlightenment. The frightening type of Christian fundamentalism the author experienced first-hand is still very much present in the U.S. today. The author's resolve and courage to escape from this oppressive darkness and seek a brighter future for herself and her children are nothing short of inspiring. This book is about that journey, and it is a page-turner. Cross is a masterful writer. Through her words we gain not only insight but also wisdom. It took courage for her to flee fundamentalism and to write about it. I think anyone who reads this book will feel empowered by the author's integrity and convictions. No matter what "hell" we may be living in, Cross suggests there is always hope for redemption. The book explores profound life issues, but it also has its lighter, more amusing moments -- a testament to the author's versatile writing style. I highly recommend this book to anyone looking for something compelling, timely and thought-provoking to read. "Fleeing Fundamentalism" is ultimately about embracing self-respect and discovering a life-affirming, genuinely love-based (not fear-based) belief system and practice.

This is a wonderful book which I am recommending to everyone I know. Carlene Cross has written a story that many women can relate to.

This true story of one woman's struggle with what she knows in her heart to be right and what she is being told is right held my attention for an entire weekend. Carlene grew up being outspoken and independent. However, that slowly changed as she began secondary education at a fundamentalist college. She marries a mesmerizing young minister and finds herself in an environment which demands absolute obeyance to her husband. Not only is her marriage dysfunctional; her religious environment is dysfunctional.

Without repeating it, I would echo the praise of other reviewers but would add this: after reading a slew of weighty intellectual material on progressive Christianity, this book was a refreshing change of pace -- an engrossing, personal account of one woman's spiritual journey. Despite its salacious aspects involving alcohol, hot tubs, and her pastor husband's sex addiction, her story rings true. Like another reviewer, I too have experienced firsthand the effects of fundamentalism on a marriage. While reviewer J. Casebolt makes the point that there are fakes and hypocrites, both in the church and out, fundamentalism seems to foster misuse of biblical teachings by those who find just what they need there to justify God-sanctioned domination of their wives and children. In the idealized marriage that Casebolt describes, this would not be so, but unfortunately it requires perfect wisdom, perfect judgment, and perfectly self-sacrificing love in order to succeed. Whether in a secular or a Christian marriage, this would be rare.
In my experience, there are certain personality traits that draw a person to fundamentalism -- a 'black & white' worldview and a psychological need for absolutes. Those of us who see shades of gray and are willing to tolerate some uncertainty in our spiritual lives are more likely to ultimately reject the fundamentalist claim to 'truth', although it often takes years as it did for Carlene Cross. My point is that her story is not an intellectual argument against biblical literalism & fundamentalism, but rather hints at the psychological underpinnings of the fundamentalist mindset.
Another reviewer doubts the author's veracity -- questioning why the church is not identified (my take: confidentiality would be lost if she did so - why change the names if you're going to identify the church?). The reviewer also questions whether a pastor would actually leave the church of his own accord. I'm sure he left due to the difficulty of maintaining a public persona so at odds with his private one and knew that he was moments away from being `discovered.' The author may have had good reasons for omitting certain other details, or was simply exercising narrative license, & I would not use those omissions as a basis for doubting the author's honesty. All writers pick and choose which details to include.
Ultimately, this book was a message of hope. I did finish the book wanting to know more about the author's subsequent journey of faith - had she abandoned it altogether? - and perhaps Cross will treat us to a second installment. I would definitely purchase the sequel.

With recent revelations of Ted Haggard, Carlene Cross' book couldn't be more relevant. Best of all, it's true. A young woman from Montana falls for a charismatic future preacher, who takes over a church in the Seattle suburbs which takes the gigantic leaps in attendance I've seen occur in the megachurch I sporadically attend. But David's little secret, which Carlene eventually discovers, is that he's never left his past behind. He still attends girly shows, and seems less than interested in pleasing his wife sexually or emotionally.

The book is written in an engaging style, with plenty of detail about life growing up in rural Montana, the life of a devout Christian and the biblical foundations for many fundamentalist beliefs. The description of fundamentalist beliefs about the end-times seemed a little too detailed at first, until it occurred to me how many books there are in the Left Behind series. Considering its impact on world events, this stuff is pretty important to understand.

One cannot help but sympathize with Carlene, especially since in all of her suffering, and far beyond the call of duty, she remains faithful to her husband. And yet, I couldn't help feeling the book might have carried more weight if Cross had shown a little more gratitude for the men in her life. Not her husband; she had ample reason to be angry with him. But Cross goes to great lengths to show the injustices inflicted by her husband, and by her friends' husbands on their wives, but barely glosses over the men who help her out in her efforts to break free.

What about the caring men she mentions attend her church? Or the bartender at the Space Needle who covers for her as a cocktail witness when she confides she doesn't know anything about drinks? What about the man in the university office who raises hell with the government when he discovered she'd been harassed by a caseworker at the Welfare office? Why doesn't she acknowledge the wisdom of the father she'd rebelled against all these years who tried to steer her away from what in the end proved to be false religion? Certainly she mentions these men, but I think if she'd gone into more detail, allowing herself and her reader to be moved by these acts of chivalry, she would have created more of a contrast between these men and the false Christian men she left behind.

You can't help but have the sense of a woman who's been somewhat sheltered from real life. This adds to the appeal of the book, because there's plenty of humor, and a willingness to own up to her own weaknesses. Cross describes an experience in which she develops a crush on a college professor and makes a fool of herself before he tells her he's happily married. While I couldn't judge her for having these kind of feelings--which I've sometimes felt inappropriately myself--I couldn't help wondering why she hadn't at least looked to see if he was wearing a ring.

To her credit, Cross acknowledges with self-effacing honesty that she simply didn't want to know. Indeed, this sort of denial is pervasive in fundamentalist women I've known. And is quite likely what kept Cross' marriage intact for so long.

I found this book to be extremely fascinating---most of us will never see what life at a Bible college or as a minister's wife would be like. Cross wrote so well about her state of mind as she at first accepted what she was being taught wholeheartly, and then later came to have grave doubts.

There were a few things about the book that bothered me, however. Although I know the book is true, and perhaps it's just because what really happened was so extreme, but the sudden realization of what Cross's husband was really like seemed so sudden. I know that people keep dark secrets, that is certainly true, but to fool that many people for that long? It's not that I don't believe the book, I just wish somehow it was more explained how people could hide secrets that well---perhaps because it scares me so.

I am glad that at one point Cross went back and realized there were good hearted people at her church, people who truly practiced what they preached. Her brother is also a great example of a sincere Christian.

I wonder how Cross's children are doing now? The book gives a little information, but I do wonder what their state of faith is like. I also wish the book told more about Cross's upbringing. Her parents sound like interesting people.

Certainly I recommend this book! It's not perfect, but it's truly a compelling read.

I read this book while my marriage was in its death throes. The relationship began to crumble when he started using the Bible to judge and control me.

Carlene's book was tremendously helpful especially when she told her story about how much research she did into chuch and Bible history. I always had intellectual and emotional issues with some of the doctrines and stories of the Bible, and to find out that I did not need to "just believe in them without ever questioning" removed the weight of the world from my shoulders. I have never felt more free, and free to be myself, and reading this book was one of the stepping stones I crossed in order to reach that freedom.

The biggest issue with fundamentalism are the personal sacrifices required to adhere to this paradigm; not in terms of money, or belongings, or even time and effort. The hardest part is giving up parts of your personality and things that make you an individual.

In short, this book is terrific - it is valuable not just for the factual information in it all potential converts should be given before converting to Christianity, but because of the deeply personal nature of her quest to be treated with respect by those who purported to love her. Unfortunately the Bible can and still is used by men to control, abuse, subjugate, define, and dismiss women. Carlene's book is one voice that contributes to the dialog that hopefully someday will see the end of that tragic tradition.