Customer Reviews

Flight of the Stork: What Children Think (And When About Sex and Family Building)

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Ok, this is a bit of a heavier, academic-type book, although the writing style is easy enough to read.

Bernstein has interviewed many children about their understanding about sexuality, particularly in terms of pregnancy, birth and family structure. The book is filled with examples of what children say and think, which can be fun to read.

Bernstein separates children's responses into six rough stages of mental development, which turn out to be fairly clearly differentiated. In each stage, she describes and explains how children think, giving examples of what children have said in interviews with her. She then also suggests how to talk to children of each stage, taking into account their understanding and way of thinking at that time.

There are also chapters on adoption and stepfamilies, and generally how to discuss and make sense of the great variety of family structures children encounter, and how children understand them.

It's reasonably fun reading, if you have the concentration to read through it all, and the desire to think about yourself and your situation, and how you may improve your communication and the understanding of the children you encounter.

The book is labelled as What Children Think (and When) about Sex and Family Building. I expected it to be more like a humour book with kids answers to questions about what sex is and where babies come from. Sort of like Kids Say the Darndest Things about Sex. I was wrong.

It does have antedotes from children about these subjects but the purpose of the book is not to make us laugh but to teach us what children at different levels think, how much they can understand, what they really want to know and how to talk to them.

Although it wasn't what I thought it was, I found it interesting. I have read other books on how to talk to your kids about sex but this takes a different route. It divides children into different levels of understanding and shows you to how help them reach the next level. It explains how sometimes when a child asks a question, they really only want a simple answer, not details. It suggests you should sometimes ask your child what THEY think the answer is so you can see where they are getting mixed up. It also proved that while most parents think they're children understand the birds and the bees, most have a few things off, some have it all wrong.

Although this book isn't specifically about childrearing an "infertility" child, knowing the thought processes that children go through when learing about "where do I come from" is crucial for anyone who is thinking about using assisted reproduction or who is thinking of adopting to understand. The book contains some specific sections on those areas, but don't just skip to them. This book can help you make those very difficult decisions relating to whether you can BE a parent of a child brought to your family by less than traditional methods.

Now in a new revised edition, Flight of the Stork: What Children Think (And When) About Sex And Family Building is a straightforward guide especially for parents, but also valuable to educators and child psychologists, about what children understand about human reproduction at which ages, the stages of cognitive awareness young people pass through concerning the subject, and how parents can best educate young people about it. The revised edition specifically deals with topics pertaining to twenty-first century advances in assisted reproductive technology, donor insemination, and surrogacy. Above all, Flight Of The Stork emphasizes good parenting skills: listening to children, understanding one's own issues, and the importance of honesty and empathy. Flight of the Stork is very highly recommended reading, especially for parents who find themselves flustered explaining the birds and the bees.