Customer Reviews

Flux: Women on Sex, Work, Love, Kids and Life in a Half-Changed World

5 star:		(27)
4 star:		(9)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Wow. FLUX is a great read--engaging stories, interesting voices, and salted with scintillating analysis by Orenstein. I recognized bits of myself, my life and thoughts, in nearly every woman she interviews, but I also felt enough distance from the women to fully appreciate some of the book's larger themes about women's choices. Particularly great is the fact that this book is not a standard feminist rant, but rather a thoughtful, upbeat yet realistic look at where we are in this "half-changed world." As a woman in her thirties, I found myself identifying with not only the younger women and those my age, but I also appreciated hearing older women's voices as well. If you liked SchoolGirls, you'll love this one.

Last weekend, I wandered into a bookstore musing about the current Big Decisions in my life -- Where is my career going? Should my husband and I start a family? What are my goals in life -- and I thought, "Too bad there isn't a book with all the answers."

Orenstein's book doesn't answer all the questions, but it provides a wonderful -- and comforting -- framework for grappling with the questions women face in contemporary American life. And it's not a man-bashing manifesto. My husband actually started reading it over my shoulder, and he's been badgering me to finish it so he could have a turn. This is good stuff!

Incredibly provocative book. It will challenge you to really ponder and revel in your choices as a woman. Orenstein manages to cover a wide and representative range of lifestyles (young/single/career focused, married w/o kids, married w/kids/career, single mothers by choice, the stay at home mom after career). While covering every imaginable life choice, she also delves deeply enough into each of these woman's lives to give us a significant picture of the trade-offs, the joys, and the ongoing challenge of making choices between family, work and self fulfillment.

I can't imagine any woman not finding this to be an uplifting read. One of the best books I've ever read. I cried at some extremely powerful passages in the book and laughed at others as I heard my life echoed back to me. There is a strong sense of control over one's destiny that resonates in your mind and heart after reading this book. I applaud Orenstein for her timely topic and enlightened presentation. It's truly a gift to all women.

I read this book because it was chosen by my book club. I found nothing particularly surprising, no revelations. Ms. Orenstein's writing style is engaging, but there was definitely a slant toward upper-income, well-educated females. While I happen to fall into that class myself, it bothers me when a work attempts to encapsulate "women's" feelings while focusing on such a narrow strata of our society.

The work also seemed to focus, to a great degree, on the interviewees' feelings regarding children and motherhood. Since the subtitle is "Women on sex, work, love, kids" I was a bit surprised to see so little discussion of sex, and so much about kids. As someone who has deliberately chosen to remain childless, my view is that this book would be much more relevant to women who are struggling with family or work/family issues.

I am a new mother in her 30s who recently decided to stay home full time. It was a very difficult decision. I picked this up in an airport layover on a recent vacation and did not put it down. Many late nights were spent with this book. When I wasn't reading it, I was thinking about the most recently read chapters or interviewees. I read parts of it to my husband who now also wants to read it.

I love the books thoroughness, and the author's ponderings even more. She examines things with such candor, and describes conversations so eloquently. She does such a beautiful job translating not only the spoken, but also the unspoken.

This is not just another feminist or mommy rant. Even the husbands are described and examined as vital and equal participants. She nails so many of the current issues and realities, and I found myself constantly reminded that even though the name on the door may be different, the same things are going on inside in so many ways.

I am sending out invitations this week to start a book club just to have more conversation about it. It is the best thing I have read in a long time.

I read this book for my bookclub - an all women's group. We had the best discussion from it. This book raised some thought-provoking questions. For example, why do many girls grow up thinking that they need to be independent (financially) to support themselves, yet many boys group up thinking that they need to be able to support themselves *and* their family? Hmmm... As an electrical engineer, I had always thought of myself as an independent woman, but why didn't I grow up thinking that I needed to support a family as well as myself? Peggy doesn't answer these questions, but the interviews with different women allow the reader to come to their own conclusions. The only criticism I have about this book is that many of the women interviewed have very similar careers. She interviews many lawyers, which actually seems to serve well as an example of a somewhat male dominated field. I thoroughly recommend this book for any woman in her 20s, 30s, or 40s - or any man wanting to understand women in that age group!

Like one of the previous reviewers, I happened to find this book while wandering in a bookstore, while dealing with major questions regarding my career, my marriage, and whether I am a "good enough" mother. This book didn't provide the nice, neat answers I thought I was looking for, but Peggy Orenstein nonetheless does an excellent job of detailing the lives of the women she profiles. She shows women at different stages of their lives, faced with different choices about marriage, career, motherhood, and gives the reader food for thought about the good and the bad behind the choices made. The biggest change, though, must, as Ms. Orenstein notes, come from culture as a whole. Men need to be given permission, and in fact encouraged, to consider flex-time, stay-at-home parenting, "daddy tracks," and corporate culture needs to encourage, not punish, those who take advantage of these opportunities to nurture their families. For me personally, the best part of this book, though, was the emphasis on the need for women to find their own identities. Self actualization need not equal selfishness.

This book is an insightful study of the issues and challenges faced by women at the turn of the 21st century. This important book, which should be read by both men and women, touches upon many spheres of a woman's life, including education, career, and family, the ways in which these spheres interconnect, and the choices that women must make in order to navigate through them. Without providing specific answers, the book poses many provocative questions that each woman should answer for herself and raises important issues that should be addressed by our society as a whole.

The book is based on the many conversations that its author, Peggy Orenstein, had conducted with a number of women over the course of a couple of years, as well as some of her deeply personal experiences. The book is divided into three parts, each focusing on a distinct period in a woman's life: "The Promise" (women in her twenties, still contemplating what their future will be like), "The Crunch" (women in their thirties, facing the realities and the choices of marriage, family, and career), and "Reconsiderations" (women in their forties and beyond, rediscovering themselves after the pressures of biological clocks and life decisions have subsided). The author illustrates how the different women choose to navigate the different stages of their lives. Each of the women has her unique perspectives and challenges; however, many common threads and patterns emerge that define their experiences.

Reading this book can be frustrating and enlightening at the same time. The frustration partially comes from acknowledging the issues faced by most women in our society. It also arises from the naïveté of many of the young women who expect to "have it all" without thinking about the inevitable tradeoffs. The enlightening part of the book is also its key takeaway: the fact that there is no single, one-size-fits-all answer, and that each of us needs to be more thoughtful and deliberate in making the important decisions that have an impact on the rest of our lives, and not just be blindly led by tradition and society's expectations.

The book also has its limitations. For one, it is focused rather narrowly on a specific type of woman: white-collar, highly educated, accomplished, career-minded. While this is not necessarily a drawback, it does limit the audience for whom this book is intended. Second, in providing us with examples, the author still shows primarily "traditional" families. It would have been truly enlightening, for example, to see a family where the husband makes significantly less than his wife and how he manages the choice to either continue working or stay home. Finally, I couldn't help but feel that some of the issues in the book are slightly over-dramatized. It leaves one with a rather unsettled feeling and not a lot of optimism for the future. While all of the issues in the book are absolutely true, when presented together they can be quite overwhelming and discomforting - but perhaps, this is precisely what the author intended.

In summary, I would recommend this book without hesitation to anyone (women and men) who is considering the choices concerning family and career, and especially to every young person about to embark on his or her life's journey.

Through examples of the lives of hundreds of women, Orenstein explains how women's ambivalence about choices they make in their own lives often comes from the conflicting messages we receive and hold about our roles in a post-women's movement society. Orgenstein points out that women have not yet achieved total equality and are therefore in a transitional stage. The ability to recognize the effects of this state of flux on one's psyche will help anyone, man or woman, make choices more in tune with their own inner wisdom.

This book is an incredbly insightful journey into the lives of all kinds of women from the age of 20 on. It examines all combinations of women who are married, single, divorced, with children, without children, conventional, unconventional, pioneers in business, and everything in between.

It is a very thought-provoking book. (That is, truly, an understatement!). It's a great reminder that there is not one right "answer" to how we, as women, should live our lives. This book allows a look at all the possibilities. What adds greatly to the book is the presentation of Orenstein's own compelling story of examining all the options as a woman in today's world. I highly recommend this book.