Flying Solo: Single Women in Midlife [Paperback]

Carol M. Anderson (Author), Susan Stewart (Author), Sona Dimidjian (Contributor)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 17, 1995

A groundbreaking book portraying the new American lifestyle of single midlife women.

Unmarried at 40—could there be anything worse? Our culture dictates that women who have failed to catch or hold the golden ring of marriage are destined to be deprived and depressed, perhaps even dangerous. Add the burden of age and you have a woman headed for disaster. Not necessarily so, say the authors of Flying Solo, who talked with never-married, divorced, and widowed women in midlife across the country. These women's stories offer blueprints for living, as well as inspiration, for other women "flying solo."

Most of these women did not intend to be single at midlife. Yet they have given up the dream of "happily ever after" to create lives on their own that are rich and rewarding. The authors share these women's stories as well as their practical advice on managing the mechanics of being single, transforming loneliness, redefining the place of work, developing friendship and support networks, living with and without intimacy and sex with men, and choosing to have and raise children. In the process they define not just a new American lifestyle but a new American Dream.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

The authors present findings gathered from interviews with 87 middle-aged single women who disprove the stereotype that marriage is necessary for a woman's happiness.
Copyright 1995 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist

Family therapist Anderson and her coauthors chronicle the ups (mostly) and downs (minimized) of 40- to 45-year-old single women in a manner intended to evoke cheers. Based on a two-year study of 87 women, their book details, more objectively than existing self-help manuals, both the joys and the travails of living alone. Peppering their work with quotes from their subjects, the authors start and end by emphasizing the gift of going solo, and in the middle, they discuss destroying the myths of spinster-ship, overcoming divorce and the never-married syndrome, exchanging fantasies for real-life dreams, dealing with relationships, and managing the chores of everyday living. Their positive outlook is contagious and obliterates the Harvard-Yale-Newsweek contention that single women over 40 have less chance to marry than to be taken hostage by a terrorist. Even Gloria Steinem would approve. Barbara Jacobs --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 309 pages
• Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company (October 17, 1995)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0393313476
• ISBN-13: 978-0393313475
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.4 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #837,025 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

52 of 53 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An uplifting, empowering book., August 6, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Flying Solo: Single Women in Midlife (Paperback)

I have read this book several times and I always find it encouraging, empowering, and uplifting. The authors interview many women who have given up on, lost, or never sought the traditional route of husband-and-2.3 children. In spite of societal pressures and expectations, these women lead happy, fulfilling, satisfied lives. Some have found ways to have children and/or a significant other in their lives without the framework of a traditional marriage, and some have not -- but none of them have become the bitter, twisted "spinsters" our society would seem to expect them to be. I found this book to be an inspiration, and I think ALL women should read it; even if you're not "flying solo" now, you might find yourself doing so at some point in the future. This book can show you how to do it -- and even how to enjoy it!

22 of 26 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Not based in reality, April 12, 2006

By 

K. kahn - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Flying Solo: Single Women in Midlife (Paperback)

This book basically describes single women in midlife as uniformly content, financially well-off, healthy, and lovin' it. While I think this may be true for a significant proportion of us, I absolutely know it's not true for all. Considering this book was written by a social worker, it does nothing to address the very real societal and economic problems that affect single, middle-aged women. It's a little too biased and a little too gung-ho.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars "Must read!", April 29, 2009

By 

Mary J. Simon "relationship counselor" (Denver) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Flying Solo: Single Women in Midlife (Paperback)

This book, though 10 years old, is a "must read" for all women, single or married, in any stage of adult life. It provides an in-depth understanding of how The Dream, promulgated by our culture, results in most women, despite the progress we've made, still struggling to maintain their own sense of self in the context of relationships, especially with men. I'm on my THIRD reading!