Flying Without a Net: Turn Fear of Change into Fuel for Success [Hardcover]

Thomas J. DeLong (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 14, 2011

Confronted by omnipresent threats of job loss and change, even the brightest among us are anxious. In response, we're hunkering down, blocking ourselves from new challenges. This response hurts us and our organizations, but we fear making ourselves even more vulnerable by committing mistakes while learning something new.

In Flying Without a Net, Thomas DeLong explains how to draw strength from vulnerability. First, understand the forces that escalate anxiety in high achievers and the unproductive behaviors you turn to for relief. Then adopt practices that give you the courage to "do the right things poorly" before "doing the right things well."

Drawing on his extensive research and consulting work, DeLong lays out:

- Roots of high achievers' anxiety: fear of being wrong and lack of a sense of purpose, and a craving for human connection

- Destructive behaviors we adopt to relieve our anxiety: busyness, comparing ourselves to others, and blaming others for our frustrations

- Behaviors we must adopt to gain strength from vulnerability: putting the past behind us and seeking honest feedback

Packed with practical advice and inspiring stories, Flying Without a Net is an invaluable resource for all leaders seeking to thrive in this Age of Anxiety.

Editorial Reviews

Review

“Summing Up: Recommended” — CHOICE

“If you have these types of personalities in your organization, or are one yourself, DeLong’s book will be enormously helpful.” — HR Professional magazine

“As part leadership training and part psychology text, Flying Without a Net takes on the often-overlooked soft side of the leadership vortex, and DeLong’s timing could not be better.” — Korn Ferry Briefings

“The jargon-free book delivers a helpful read that will give you a sophisticated means to accomplish your tasks with grace and aplomb.” “Read Flying Without a Net to reassess your ambitions, restore your sensibilities and inspire you to do more than just checking tasks off a list.” — Small Business Trends (smallbiztrends.com)

“For those who like a little psychoanalysis with their summer reading, this is the perfect book.” — Atlanta Journal-Constitution

“…Harvard Business School professor Thomas J. DeLong’s Flying Without a Net is a must-read.” - Infosys Finacle Connect

About the Author

Thomas DeLong is the Philip J. Stomberg Professor of Management Practice in the Organizational Behavior area at the Harvard Business School. His research focuses on the challenges facing individuals and organizations in the process of change.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 288 pages
• Publisher: Harvard Business Review Press; 1 edition (June 14, 2011)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 142216229X
• ISBN-13: 978-1422162293
• Product Dimensions: 6.3 x 0.9 x 9.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #507,803 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

18 of 19 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A new model for anxiety management by "high-need-for-achievement professionals" June 2, 2011

By Robert Morris HALL OF FAMETOP 100 REVIEWERVINE™ VOICE

Format:Hardcover

In the Preface, Thomas J. DeLong observes, "The old model for high-need-for-achievement personalities was invulnerability - being opaque, emotionally detached, risk averse, and coldly analytical. This book will make the case for a new, vulnerable, model and offer directions for professionals who no longer know which way to turn." The new model that DeLong offers bears stunning resemblances to Robert Greenleaf''s concepts of servant leadership and to others' concepts of emotional intelligence, notably those of David Wechsler, Howard Gardner, and Daniel Goleman.

What DeLong contributes is a brilliant analysis of (a) why most people fear change, Chapters 1-2; (b) "the big three anxieties" (purpose, isolation, and significance), Chapters 3-5; (c) four "traps" that prevent change (busyness, comparing, blame, and worry, and finally, Chapters 6-9; and (d) what is needed to avoid or escape from the anxieties and traps by "turning fear of change into fuel for success," Chapters 10-14. To assist that process of personal change, he inserts through his narrative sets of direct questions or suggestions that comprise an accumulative self-assessment. In the first four chapters, for example, questions to

o Determine your willingness to do the right thing poorly (Page 34-35)
o Determine if your work is connected to a larger purpose (46)
o Raise your awareness of events that devalue you (52-53-35)
o Maintain awareness of feeling isolated (68-69)
o Determine if you're caught in a "gravitational pull" of your own (78)

I was especially interested in what DeLong has to say about The Blame Trap. As I read his extensive discussion in Chapter Seven: How to Break Your Heart Every Time, I was reminded of Ernest Becker's book, Denial of Death, in which he asserts that physical death is inevitable but it is possible to deny another form of death: that which occurs when we become wholly preoccupied with fulfilling others' expectations of us.

Here's what DeLong says about social relativity:

"It is the process of using external measures to determine how we think we are doing, of defining our successes by external criteria. This process begins early in life, and it is instilled in us by many factors. In fact, the process is so baked into everything we experience that it often feels like we have no control over the emotions that cause us to compare ourselves to others. It becomes a reflex rather than a calculated action. In certain cultures, the process of comparing impacts behavior all the time and in every way."

This is especially true of those whom DeLong characterizes as "high-need-for-achievement professionals." For them, Flying Without a Net really is a "must read."

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Spot on insights into behavior- Weak on solutions August 16, 2011

By Joel Dobbs

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

A while back I heard a Harvard Business School podcast featuring an interview with Thomas J. DeLong. In it he summarized this book and discussed several of the behaviors of High Achievers. Frankly, he was describing both me and many of the executives I have coached or worked with in the past with frightening accuracy and precision.

DeLong has spent years studying what he calls "high need for achievement professionals." He especially focuses on why change can be so challenging for these people. One of the main points is that for these people to change and learn new things they must go through a period of what he calls "doing the right thing poorly." Because they are fearful of "looking bad" as they attempt to grow and learn there is a tendency to avoid situations in which they may look less than competent even if this means that they limit their growth and development. When they find themselves in these situations, the result is frequently severe anxiety.

DeLong describes four traps that keep high achievers from changing. He describes these as busyness, comparing, blame and worry. He spends a chapter on each and his descriptions of the behaviors and their consequences make for fascinating reading. The many stories and personal reflections included in each chapter add both depth and perspective. The first sections of the book are excellent.

Unfortunately, the final section of the book titled "Getting Over It: Tools for Turning Fear of Change into Fuel for Success" fails to deliver. I had hoped to find some great tools and insights to use both personally and with my executive coaching clients; however, I found almost all of his suggestions to be either vague generalities or overly simplistic exercises.

If you are, or work with, high need for achievement type people you will find the descriptions and insights into common growth-limiting behaviors both interesting and informative. The prescriptions for change may disappoint.

3.0 out of 5 stars A smooth reading experience for a professional February 18, 2013

By Arijit Chakraborti

Format:Hardcover

Well, I know Professor DeLong. I have spent four days in his presence. From the start of morning breakfast till the end of evening dinner. In the classroom of HBS. Everyday. With him in his role of professor. With some sixty other smart co-learners in the role of students. And guess what, it was a course on Managing and Transforming Professional Services Firm!

Although the publisher classified this book as "Management", this book actually offers you a story reading experience; or you may call it a collection of stories. If you have attended his class, you may realize that some of the stories you have already heard in the classroom. If you have not, the book may be a good source of getting those fresh. It's important to meet the real characters, through classroom case study or through this book.

Prof DeLong has structured this book into four parts. He started with building the context of change and fear. Then he moved to in-depth discussions on professional's anxieties and traps. Finally, he concluded with some thoughts on how to get over it. There are fourteen chapters in total. The brilliance lies in organizing all these fourteen chapters with sharp analysis to establish each of the elements of professional's fear, anxiety, and resistance to change. Those who are avid readers on behavioural matters and leadership may find resemblance with various doctrines written in other books. What makes this book unique is the presentation of the key points without indoctrination.

Throughout the book, Prof DeLong continued asking pertinent questions to the readers. Quite often I felt those questions were meant for me, because those are so relevant to my professional life. While looking through a glass of critique, I realize the depth of research undertaken to ask those sharp questions. I am sure every professional with high need for achievement would find many of those questions (if not most) to be apt for them too. As a reader, you have an option to sit with a notepad and start answering those questions as you progress with reading. The value of learning will be enhanced for you, I am sure.

Coming to my favourite areas, I liked the chapters on anxieties are quite thoughtful. In fact, the chapter "Isolation" was simply superb. Towards the end, while reading "Ask Someone to Dance", I started articulating what's flying all about. Flying without a net is the title of the book, not necessarily the promise. The promise resides within one's mind - what, when, how, and all that. But it's that temptation to fly with new fuel is what sets this book as an inspiring one. The end of the book has an impressive bibliography for reference. For those who are interested to take deeper dive in behavioural science, may find it useful.

If you're looking for a step-by-step guide that would make you a achieving what you want achieve, you are likely to be disappointed. This book doesn't have any such thing inside. In fact, there is no such thing like step-by-step guide for professionals. It's time for you to be the stepper. It's time for you to convert all those fears into new fuel. It's time to fly!