Customer Reviews

Following Foo: (the electronic adventures of The Chestnut Man)

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When I saw this book, I just had to read it. Not because of who the author was or that he was gay, but because he LIVED what I was LIVING. Mr. Wong's book is the ONLY book about NICU babies that I would suggest as a MUST READ for critically premature parents! It doesn't help you understand the medical terms, it helps you understand YOU, as a parent of a tiny ray of life in a plastic box.
I lost a premature daughter (Mary) at 23 weeks, eleven months after that my second premature baby (Julia)was born at a whopping 28 weeks. I still was grieving Mary's death while trying to stay "upbeat" and "positive" about my Julia in the NICU. I joked, I laughed, but I hid A LOT of emotions. Everybody tells you how strong you are, what a brave person you are, while inside you are screaming "WHY MY CHILDREN!?!". You feel like you are the ONLY person in the world who feels that way.
Well, Mr. Wong's book is the ONLY book I have read that made me feel like I wasn't going crazy. He not only addressed the issues of being a parent of a NICU baby, but losing a child, and the realities of coping with that loss while being exatically happy your child has made a huge accomplishment (She either pooped, or ate half a teaspoon of breastmilk... major things in a NICU).
His humor at the most critical of times is very similar to how I dealt with things when the dr.s would say... "Well, Julia had a good day today, she only stopped breathing twice, and oh, by the way, her blood levels show she may need a transfustion, etc."
Life in the NICU is like constantly waiting for the shoe to drop! And when it does, it is usually a size 15 triple E!

I would love for Mr. Wong to do a follow up to his book, maybe "Following Foo, The Early Years". Julia is now 18 months old, and we are dealing with Early Intervention, Boston Children's Hospital, Weight issues, and Mom (or Dad) going nuts trying to keep it all in check. I would dearly love to hear some advice. Plus, I fell in love with his adorable son in this book and would love to know how he is doing!

...It was on this evening that the actor/singer B.D. Wong and his talent agent partner, Richard Jackson, became fathers in Modesto, CA. Their twin sons were born woefully, dangerously, nearly 3 months premature. Over the next several months, Wong kept his ever increasing list of friends informed of the roller coaster progress, the ups and downs, through a series of emailed updates. These introspective, mesmerizing, hopeful, honest emails got passed around, and have been compiled to create this book. At times it elicits chuckles, sometimes you will thank god for unsung heroic healthcare workers, and at other times your eyes will well up with tears. The book is an adventurous journey into fatherhood, Jewish and Chinese American families, medical miracles, social work, gynecology, as well as sprinkling asides into life in television and film acting, food, and parenting.

The words are presented in a variety of fonts and styles to add drama to the reading. Graphics from the Milton Bradley games of Operation and Ka-boom also drive home some messages. Wong also includes some of the songs he wrote, such as his ode to Poop.

The book is impossible to put down, as you hunger to learn whether first-born Boaz Dov Wong (Boaz: the swift, strong, hospitable, giving biblical character who rescues Ruth and fathers the line of King David; Dov: the quiet strength of a peaceful bear) and younger Jackson Foo Wong (Jackson/Yohanan: for his father's surname, graciousness of god; Foo: wealth, for his grandfather) will survive and thrive. At the end of each update, Wong includes snippets of the emails responses he received from friends, family, nurses, and doctors, including other famous celebrity/parents, such as Joel Gray, Jane Kazmarek, Barbara Barry, Margaret Cho, Michelle Kwan, and John Lithgow. David Hirson, a playwright, wrote it best when he repsonded in an email to Wong, that each bulletin [was] "...melancholy, funny, spirited, rallying, sometimes buoyant, sometimes exhausting..." For readers who need linear stories, start with Update 8; all other can begin with the Preface.

Following Foo is actor and writer B.D. Wong's account of the saga of his and his partner Richie's decision to have a child through surrogacy, and how that choice came to beautiful and heart wrenching fruition through the premature birth of twin boys Jackson (Foo) and Boaz. Oh, but it is so much more than a chronological recap of events in the process of pregnancy, birth and nurturing. It is a window into the daily and hourly emotional upheavals that attend the impending birth of a child (in this case, children)as well as the joys and sorrows experienced by loving parents and dedicated medical professionals as they join in the struggle to nurture new life. Moreover, this exceptional work is a moving tribute to the human spirit exemplified in the courage of two beautiful souls, Jackson and Boaz. Mr. Wong captures the very essence of the human capacity and need for love in this warm, often times humorous, always compelling work. A significant portion of the book is composed of supportive e-mails from friends and family. While at first glance, this might seem a distraction, it is actually an integral and enjoyable part of the journey, which serves not only to lighten the tension that is so ever present in the struggle for survival that all premature infants undergo and so effectively communicated to the reader by Mr. Wong, but it also serves to show a beautiful community of love and concern that was empowering and life-affirming. This superbly paced narrative is intelligent , whimsical and keenly observant of the human condition. It is highly recommended.

What strikes me most about Following Foo is the amazingly creative writing style of Mr. Wong. Through his words I was immersed into the emotions, minds, and lives of he and his family. Not only did I get to learn what happened in this incredible true story but I actually felt some aspects of the pain and joy that these brave people experienced. This is an incredible feat of writing. Mr. Wong communicates his feelings in words to totally move me. There I was on a plane reading the book, one minute crying, next laughing out loud. Those around me, each in their own time, all inquired as to the nature of the book, having watched me for several hours. Mr. Wong captivates the emotions of the reader through his moments of happiness and grieve, laughter and pain, all within the snap of a finger. Sure the book is a tribute to parenthood and Gay life, but it is far more than that. Through words he captures the dream of life. I really felt as though I was living through parts of the story! I was so moved by the book and the atmosphere that Mr. Wong creates that I can only but jump up and down with joy and gratitude that he choose to share with the world this story. He really opens his heart and mind to the world through this book. I wait with baited breath for the next written work by the author (although I would be most thankful if it were not such a difficult true story for the author to write about). Mr. Wong may have long been a noted as an accomplished and acclaimed actor. Through his book he certainly has earned the title of author extraordinary. It is rare indeed for an author's first book to be so excellent. Finally, much of the book is a compilation of e-mails written by the author to his loved one as updates during the events of his life. Much to my surprise the web site is actually real and a most delightful accent to the book. Buy it, read it, laugh and cry through and with it. You will not be disappointed. I would not be surprised if someday it is required reading for college courses. What an awesome experience that would be for students!

I've long been a fan of B. D. Wong (Tony Award winner for his performance in "M. Butterfly"), but was totally unprepared for this deeply moving account of the trial and tribulations he and his partner Richard Jackson faced when their twin sons were born prematurely. An extended collection of e-mails, "Following Foo" documents in heart wrenching detail the loss of one child and the harrowing fight to save the other. This is an unforgettable book about the triumph of the human spirit and the healing force of love.

I loved the wide range of emotions. Very creative writing style. BD Wong is my new crush. I am now a follower. I usually don't read a lot, but I couldn't (didn't want to) stop reading it once I started. Just when I thought all would go well, there was a shocking, and very emotional story that happened in the ICU step down area. BD Wong is a remarkable father who told a very difficult story. I was lucky enough to get to see BD read at "Books Inc." in San Francisco last week. His reading brought even deeper meaning and emotions to the book for me. I would recommend this book to EVERY parent.

I just finished reading "Following Foo: The Electronic Adventures of the Chestnut Man" and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Having just read another book called "Gay Dads: A Celebration of Fatherhood", I felt that these two works perfectly compliment each other. "Gay Dads" gave 21 examples of gay men who wanted to have children and the ways they expanded their families. This story is an extension of that theme, showing the unexpected problems that can crop up in any birth. There is no guarantee, no matter how much you fantasize about the birth of child, that the stork will have a smooth landing and bring a baby that is perfectly formed, completely healthy and on time. B. D. Wong and his partner, Richie, learn this first hand when their twins, carried by a surrogate, come very early and riddled with complications. Wong, an actor in television programs such as "Oz" and "Law and Order: SVU", is obviously a creative man that uses email as a way to reach out to friends an family to update them on the progress of the baby (one twin, sadly dies shortly after birth). He soon receives responses from many people, giving him words of encouragement and showing a great deal of love for the tiny little boy trying his hardest to stay in this world with his two stressed out and loving dads. This book reveals what a serious undertaking parenting is and how dedicated and trying it can be. I'm not a parent but I certainly felt for these two men as they struggled with the constant health issues and feared for the life of their little tyke. There are lots of interesting responses and some are from familiar names: John Lithgow, Margaret Cho and Michelle Kwan, to name a few. But it is little Jackson that is the star in these pages and you find yourself drawn into his world, breaking out the pom poms and cheering "Go, Jackson GO!" A great book for any parent (gay or straight)....actually a good read for anyone! Give it a try. You'll not be disappointed.

Let's face it, we know the ending when we start. But, once into the book, you are drawn into the world at the NIC unit. You see what is happening as if you were there experiencing it. To see the raw emotion, experience the day to day happenings is to fall in love with the little life that is so fragile at this stage. Then on the other level you see how much love is shared, how everyone is drawn to this family. And yes, it is a family just like any other. I keep going back to the book and reread passages - when after a bath, little Jackson has a breathing problem, you read the "prayer" that BD Wong has going through his head. You get so imvolved that you actually feel emotionally exhausted after you put the book down. I so hope for more books by this particular author! Bravo! I am a Foo Follower for sure!

As a charter member of the email club, I wondered if a book could capture the poignant scenes and cliffhanger moments of the actual experience. Remarkably, the writing is so immediate, you'll find yourself holding your breath. It's not just stories BD wrote to his family and friends to keep everyone posted on the latest developments, it's a love letter from a parent to his children; a sweet, scary, tough, funny, emotionally exhilarating memoir. Jackson's email musings are some of the most original and satisfying passages. You will believe you are inside his head. Looking at the picture of the quarter in Jackson's hand, and the picture of him now, you'll suddenly appreciate the depth of the drama in this book.

An awesome tale every parent should read. The highs and lows of nurturing the young chestnut man are beautifully portrayed by the author. Follow Foo!