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The Football Fan's Manifesto Paperback – August 18, 2009

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 336 pages
  • Publisher: It Books (August 18, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0061735140
  • ISBN-13: 978-0061735141
  • Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 0.8 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 2.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #639,086 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews


“The Football Fan’s Manifesto is the throbbing id of the NFL, a throwdown in the name of football supremacy, the type of book you just know Roger Goodell wishes he could write. If you think football is the only thing that matters on earth, this is your book .” (Will Leitch, author of God Save The Fan and founder of Deadspin)

“Fantasy football fans that don’t read Michael Tunison’s book and recognize it as the gospel truth aren’t real football fans.” (Gregg Rosenthal,

From the Back Cover

The Football Fan's Ten Commandments

  1. You Must Choose Your Team by the Age of Eight.
  2. Value That Team Above All Else, Even Yourself.
  3. Under No Circumstances Can You Switch Teams (And Expect to Live).
  4. There is a Limit to the Amount of Merchandise You Can Own (But It's Very Generous).
  5. Sportsmanship is for the Athletes. Fans Can Gloat Endlessly.
  6. A Self-Induced Coma to Skip the Off-season is a Practical Solution to an Annoying Problem.
  7. An Inoffensive Fantasy Football Name is a Lame Fantasy Football Name.
  8. Wealth Doesn't Matter So Long As You Don't Have to Work Weekends.
  9. Respect Superstitions. If Your Team Lost, It's Because You Jinxed Them.
  10. In Life, the Order of Importance: Football First, Football Second, Football Third, Family . . . uh, I Don't Know, twelfth?

These are just the basics if you wish to be a True Football Fan. The full picture is much more complex and boozy. Thankfully, The Football Fan's Manifesto is your very own playbook to the strict rules and bylaws that must be scrupulously observed. After all, trash-talking is an intricate science and running onto the field a dangerous but irresistible pursuit. There are many lessons to be learned, especially that choosing a favorite team to live and die with is not a choice made easily: It's the most important decision of your life!

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Customer Reviews

2.8 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Shopper on February 10, 2010
Format: Paperback
This book was given to me as a christmas present by a co-worker. I'm a big sports fan and do enjoy reading KSK. This book however was just another in an ever growing family that proves that what works on blogs doesn't translate into print. When I pick up a book or open a newspaper I expect (and hope) to have my senses given a B-12 shot and have the author's words paint a picture in my head, or get me thinking about things I'd never really thought about. I hope to read interesting stories that might give me a greater appreciation for something, I don't need a bunch of cliches and vulgar jokes. Reading this book was like reading a 300 page fark thread. Where as people like Will Leitch & Bill Simmons can write great books and be popular bloggers, Tunison is only a popular blogger with a talent for short form sports humor & insults. He doesn't have a way with words and can't carry books. Aside from co-writing a screen play with Tucker Max, I don't think Tunison should venture off the web. What would have been several good reads on KSK was just a tough book to sit through, and I did get to a point where I was forcing myself to finish it. I'm not saying that all books need to be squeaky clean passion pieces, I in fact found Drew Magary's book very fun to read. I suppose to make a long story short, I don't think Michael Tunison is very good writer, but Christmas Ape is an f'ing awesome blogger.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful By Shawn M. Ritchie on November 3, 2009
Format: Paperback
I keep falling into the same trap: funny bloggers rarely make funny authors. "The Football Fan's Manifesto" by Kissing Suzy Kolber stalwart Mike Tunison is a case in point.

A snarky (what, a blogger who cops a snarky attitude? Get out) take on how to be a fan of an NFL team, Tunison hits the expected notes (pick a team to root for young, never change allegiance ever, hit fans of other teams in the balls with bricks, etc.) and makes sure to shoehorn in the occasional commentary snidely referencing the fact that NFL owners and players give two tugs of a dead dog's dick about their fans so it's all pretty much a waste of time, money and emotional investment anyways.

The book follows the lifetime of an average fan, starting with picking out a favorite team as a child, progressing through learning how to insult fans of other teams, arranging college life around football, how to pick a spouse that won't interfere with being a fan, etc and so on through death (even though, as Al Davis aptly proves, death is no reason to stop being involved with football).

Sections on each team's city and respective fanbases, larded with insults tailored to each are chuckle-worthy, even if the insults are mostly of the "take a word for some genitalia and combine with a meaningless noun to form New Insult #487" stripe. I particularly giggled at the expected gibes against terrible franchises like the Redskins or Raiders. I certainly chuckled out loud a few times here and there.

The problem is, this style of writing makes for an excellent blog post, but not so much for an excellent book.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful By The Czonk on October 25, 2010
Format: Paperback
I've been a fan of Mr. Tunison's irreverent, offensive, and downright hilarious work on the website for years. I bought this book in the hopes that Tunison (or Christmas Ape, as he is called on the site) would copy the successful formula he uses on his website. Unfortunately, I was sorely disappointed. This book is BORING, lazy, and totally unfunny. The author clearly has no idea what he's doing in this medium, and the best parts of this book do not equal even the worst parts of his website. I would recommend this only to people who need something to put them to sleep.
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