For Couples Only: Eyeopening Insights about How the Opposite Sex Thinks [Hardcover]

Shaunti Feldhahn (Author), Jeff Feldhahn (Author)

Book Description

Release date: January 13, 2009

Over Two Million Sold!

When For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men first burst onto the scene, it received rave reviews from women who were shocked but thrilled to discover how men really think. Soon For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women provided an eyeopening counterpoint, with simple revelations for men
that explained the seemingly mysterious ways of the opposite sex.

Together at Last

Now these classics have been updated with insights from the latest brain research and with additional data. The new editions are brought together in the For Couples Only boxed set, providing the perfect resource to help you understand relationship-changing insights about the woman or man in your life.

Each volume is based on input from more than a thousand members of the opposite sex—including an unprecedented nationwide survey and hundreds of personal interviews. This innovative approach yields candid and surprising answers that reveal what you don’t “get” about your significant other—answers that person deeply wishes you knew. It also produces simple but groundbreaking awareness of how you can best love and support the one you care about most.

So whether you are newly dating or have been married fifty years, get ready to know each other in a whole new way. The adventure is just beginning!

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn are popular speakers and best-selling authors whose research findings are regularly featured in national media as diverse as Focus on the Family, Family Life, the New York Times, and the Today Show.

Product Details

• Hardcover
• Publisher: Multnomah Books (January 13, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1601422482
• ISBN-13: 978-1601422484
• Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 1.6 x 7.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (51 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #21,831 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

29 of 30 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A Wonderfully Enlightening Resource February 21, 2009

By Stacey VINE™ VOICE

Format:Hardcover

"For Couples Only" by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn is a two-book set containing their titles "For Women Only" and "For Men Only". These comprehensive guides de-mystify the opposite sex. They are incredibly valuable resources that encourage you to learn about your mate (and maybe even yourself). Packed with insightful information detailing the differences between men and women, these books can be used to spark conversation with your significant other. In this set, there is even a conversation guide included. "For Couples Only" is truly a wonderful asset to possess if you want to build your relationship.

18 of 18 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars For Couples Only - Insightful for both Men and Women! September 10, 2009

By Wendi Barker VINE™ VOICE

Format:Hardcover

Perfect for : Personal Use, For couples, for newly-weds, for engaged couples, for church bible-study class, engagement gift, wedding gift

In a nutshell: For Couples Only is actually a set of books: For Women Only and For Men Only, which have been designed to help you understand your partner better. The books were written and based on input that was gathered by the authors from over 1000 surveys (each). We tend to make assumptions, and sometimes what we believe is actually far from reality. These two books are meant to be read by each partner, and are written in an easy-to-read format with great insight throughout. I was simply amazed at some of the survey results - many of the answers were the opposite of what I would have thought, which has led me to have a better understanding of why my husband and I understand the same comment two different ways sometimes. I've been able to learn a lot more about my husband by reading For Women Only. Read this book and find out what you didn't know about your other half - you might be surprised!

Extended Review: One key note I learned by reading the front of For Men Only (Yes - I peeked!) is that Shaunti took the time to write women a quick note inside the men's book, and it basically shares that we process the information we are learning in different ways, and while many women will learn something and then talk to their spouse about it as a way to better-understand what they are reading, men do the opposite - they like to think about what they are reading until they understand it, and THEN they will talk about it. Knowing that made reading and discussing the book easier for me, because I didn't take my husband's quietness as non-interest....

Content: The books come in a nice case that includes a Couples Conversation Starter

Format: The information they are sharing is straight and to the point, with examples and graphs that show the survey results. The authors take the time to explain why the topic is important and how it affects our significant other.

Readability: Very easy to read and understand. Each topic/chapter is easy a quick and easy read, although I did find myself re-reading certain chapters for my own benefit.

Overall: I think these books are wonderful for anyone in a relationship. There is so much we don't understand (even if we think we do) about the opposite sex. Pick up a set for yourself, and don't be afraid to give a set to a new couple, or one who has been together for quite a while! Everyone can benefit from these books. Read more ›

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Helpful for us both February 9, 2009

By Brian Dolleman

Format:Hardcover

I first read the "ladies" version in 2005 and really liked it. It was an insider look on the way a man thinks, feels and behaves. I was really surprised how much certain things mean to a man... like being respected even over being loved. I realized that I often times try to love my husband how I would want to be loved as a woman, but he needs that communicated a little bit differently. When I show honor and respect to him, it even trumps "love"- or at least the "girl version of love" that is full of words, compliments, and talking.

Chapter 5 titled, "Sex Changes Everything" gave some interesting insight into the world of our husbands... "Men want more sex than they are getting. And what's more, they believe that the women who love them don't seem to realize that this is a crisis-not only for the man, but for the relationship... Lack of sex is as emotionally serious to him as, say, his sudden silence would be to you, were he simply to stop communicating with you. It's just as wounding to him, just as much a legitimate grievance - and just as dangerous to your marriage."

I totally appreciate the straigtforward advice that the Feldhahn's give in their books. It gave Brian and I lots to talk about together. The fun thing about reading a book is that you can ask one another, "Do you agree? Is this true for you?" Relationships are built deeper and better when we share this kind of real information with one another. If you want to build a stronger marriage, I dare you to read these books!

(written by Shari Dolleman)

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars I've been raving about this 2-volume set! January 4, 2010

By allison taylor

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

I like this set so much I am buying a copy for each of my brothers, so they can (hopefully) skip some of the mistakes I made in my first marriage. The best gift I can give each family member is a happy primary relationship, and I think this is the best means by which I can give it to them.

For either gender, this set seems to be the closest thing imaginable to an "owner's manual" to the opposite gender. I wish I'd had this available years ago, to avoid some of those situations when walking on eggshells seemed inevitable. I've always believed in respecting the differences between people, but it's exponentially easier when you know precisely what the differences are!

Without trivializing any one trait, this married couple co-authors a simply & factually written guide to understanding the psyche of your significant other. I can't imagine how much good they have done for couples who read these volumes. I bet most readers get only a few pages in before exclaiming "WOW," because it's rare that the other gender will open up so completely and so fearlessly to give us a clear glimpse inside their psychological map. After I received my copy, I read both volumes, discussed them with my boyfriend, then lent them to his daughter. I hope to share this treasure with many more people!

The volume about men began accidentally, when the author discovered (while researching a novel) that her understanding of the male psyche was much less deep than she thought, and began to see her research as more applicable to a self-help book than a fictional story. Promising anonymity encouraged several male acquaintances to level with her, and she discovered a new understanding of "normal" for a man's inner world.... Surmising that very few of us women would attempt such research, and that very few men would be willing to lay themselves bare to a loved one, she collected hundreds of answers about the issues that are core to the male psyche. Then she started to give out this info in her couples' workshops, and got even more insight. Then her husband went with her to several such workshops to gather intel, and wrote the companion volume for men, to explain the things that confounded men about their female significant others. Both books are strong enough to stand on their own, but are more useful to established couples in tandem, so each person can explain or answer questions about their own gender, then ask some questions of their partner, all based on the insights presented here.

The volume "For Men Only" gives a pretty accurate description of typical womens' wiring, touching on the subjects of differing sex drives, our perceived obsession with beauty, the ability to mentally multi-task (and inability to stop multi-tasking) emotional "flashbacks" to episodes/memories that were seemingly resolved, and a few other female idiosyncrasies. Although I consider myself an atypical woman in many ways (and others have strongly agreed with this assessment), much of this information is still true, to a degree. There's even a short, one-page "abstract" of the topics, for men who only have 5 minutes to peek inside the book before deciding whether to continue.

I found the "For Women Only" insights to be quite useful too, and discerning about how to explain a man's mental terrain so that a woman can best comprehend it. Although none of the topics were surprising, I was startled by the superficiality of my previous understanding. This volume covers mens' drive to perceive themselves as providers, the centrality of the sex drive, the need for respect (especially in public) from near & dear (particularly spouses), and ability to compartmentalize mental issues/topics, and a few other male idiosyncrasies.

For all of us in a committed, healthy, heterosexual relationship, who would like to avoid stepping on an emotional landmine, this is worth the price and the time it'll take you to read it the first time. I bet my next paycheck that you will then decide it's worth reading at least one more time, and lending out to someone else who wants to have a healthier relationship with their significant other. Just remember that individuals will vary within the range of "generally true information" presented herein. Read more ›