For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women [Hardcover]

Shaunti Feldhahn (Author), Jeff Feldhahn (Author)

Book Description

Release date: April 3, 2006

Finally—You Can Understand Her!

Women: Complicated and impossible to understand? Do you love and want to please the woman in your life, but just can’t seem to figure her out? That was before For Men Only. Now at your fingertips is the tool that will unlock the secret to her mysterious ways. Through hundreds of interviews and the results of a scientific national survey of women, this book demonstrates that women are actually not random and that they really can be systematized and “mapped.” In fact, much to men’s delight, this book shows that women are actually quite easy to understand and please—as long as you know what it is they need. This simple map will guide you to loving your wife or girlfriend in the way she needs to be loved.

The bestselling author of For Women Onlyteams with her husband to offer men the key to unlocking the mysterious ways of women. Through Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn ’s national scientific survey and hundreds of interviews, For Men Only reveals what you can do today to improve your relationship. And believe it or not, as Jeff assures men, “It’s not splitting the atom.”

And for every guy who rarely reads a manual: Quick-Start Guide Included!

“When we featured Shaunti’s book For Women Only on FamilyLife Today, the phone rang off the hook! When Shaunti and Jeff come back on our broadcast, I’m buying some more phones. This is fresh and relevant—good stuff for every marriage. Read it!”
-Dennis Rainey, President, FamilyLife

Story Behind the Book

“As I was writing For Women Only to help women understand the inner lives of men, over and over I heard that men wished there was a way to understand their wives, but they felt it was probably impossible. I heard from them, ‘You are writing this little slim volume about men, but if it was about understanding women, it would have to be the size of an encyclopedia! Women are random and complicated!’ These men were surprised and encouraged when I assured them that women are neither random nor complicated, and we can be understood. Men just want to love their wives well, and For Men Only will help them do that.”
—Shaunti Feldhahn

Editorial Reviews

Review

Praise for For Men Only
 “Once again Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn have unearthed a treasure chest of insights that are not only eye-opening, but life-changing.”
—Andy Stanley, senior pastor, North Point, Alpharetta, GA, and bestselling author

“In our weekly couples’ study we read and discussed both For Women Only and For Men Only over the course of several months. They were fascinating and very helpful. The findings in For Men Only about how women think are so enlightening. My wife and I think these books should be required premarital reading!”
—Comedian Jeff Foxworthy  

“When we featured Shaunti’s books on Family Life Today, the phone rang off the hook! When Shaunti and Jeff come back on our broadcast, I’m buying some more phones. For Men Only is fresh and relevant –good stuff for every marriage. Read it!”   
—Dennis Rainey, President, FamilyLife Today

“If you’ve ever asked, ‘Why does she do, think, or say that?’ then you’ve got to read this book.  Shaunti and Jeff not only answer this question, they eliminate the confusion that has kept far too many men from bridging the gender gap.”
—Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, bestselling authors of Love Talk

“Most of my work helping passive Christian men become more like Jesus involves how best to relate to women.  I’m going to make sure to keep a case of the Feldhahn’s excellent book handy at all times.”
—Paul Coughlin, author, No More Christian Nice Guy  

“Men, we’re supposed to love our wives and live with them in an understanding way.  That’s the clear assignment God gives each of us in the Scriptures.  So buy this book, read it a couple of times, underline a few key ideas, and then keep it where you can review it regularly.  It will help you be the husband God wants you to be.”
—Bob Lepine, cohost, FamilyLife Today
 
Praise for For Men Only and For Women Only
 “Whenever Shaunti Feldhahn appears as a guest on the Focus on the Family radio program, we know that listener response will be enthusiastic. She has a way of connecting with the audience that is unique and compelling. We’re thankful for the unique perspective she provides not only to the Christian community, but to the culture at large.”
—Jim Daly, President, Focus on the Family

“These are the books I pass out to people as the best on the subject. Shaunti Feldhahn has the rare ability to do impeccable research and then make her findings incredibly practical. There is something to learn on every page.”
—Jim Burns, PhD., President, HomeWord, author of Creating an Intimate Marriage  

“Whatever Shaunti Feldhahn researches, read. Actually, do more than read…study!  Shaunti’s ability to ask the right questions, find the right answers and communicate the results clearly and practically sets her apart as a gifted researcher. Her content guides and changes lives.”
—Emerson Eggerichs, Ph.D., best-selling author, Love and Respect

“Shaunti Feldhahn has a unique gift for helping men understand women, and women, men. Her books, For Women Only and For Men Only, are the best I know at providing rich and practical gender understanding that can be used immediately. I highly recommend both all the time!”
—Robert Lewis, author of Raising a Modern-Day Knight; founder, Men's Fraternity

--This text refers to an alternate Hardcover edition.

About the Author

Shaunti Feldhahn is a best-selling author of For Women Only, a public speaker, and a nationally syndicated newspaper columnist. She contributes the conservative opinion for the Atlanta Journal- Constitution’s popular online “Woman to Woman” column which is syndicated all over the country. Shaunti holds a masters degree in public policy from Harvard University, and worked on Wall Street and Capitol Hill before becoming a surprise bestselling author in 1998. This wife of attorney and co-author Jeff Feldhahn and mother of two, now applies her analytical skills to illuminating those important, surprising truths that people really need to understand about each other. Her books for adults include For Women Only, For Men Only and For Parents Only and for teens - For Young Women Only and coming September of 2008, For Young Men Only. Each book is based on a nationwide survey and more than1,000 personal interviews. The result: candid expressions of the difficult-to-communicate-but-true inner feelings and thoughts of the men, women and teens surveyed. What makes Shaunti’s books and speaking events successful is her ability to communicate so clearly what she learned from the surveys about the inner longings, the reasons behind the exasperating words, and what your spouse or teen would tell you if only they could trust you to truly listen … what they say will surprise you!

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 192 pages
• Publisher: Multnomah Books; 1 edition (April 3, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1590525728
• ISBN-13: 978-1590525722
• Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.8 x 7.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (248 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #30,597 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

141 of 150 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Keeping Your Woman Happy...this book has great advice June 9, 2006

By Rebecca of Amazon HALL OF FAMETOP 100 REVIEWERVINE™ VOICE

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

"It's a huge shocker to talk to hundreds of women and find that while financial security is nice, it isn't nearly as important to them as feeling emotionally secure - feeling close and confident that you will be there for her no matter what." ~ pg. 17

If you are reading this book and your wife is reading "for women only," you may be in for a lovely time if you talk about the issues. By reading the "for women" and "for men" books, my husband and I finally sorted out the basis of our differences.

These books can at first cause more problems than they solve because as problems surface and you put names to the issues, things can get worse. A few days later, you may find your relationship on a better path and renewal setting in. The ideas almost require you to put pride aside and set to work on the real issues facing every relationship.

The chapters include:

Rethinking Random - Great information on how women want to feel emotionally secure. I could not agree more. If you don't feel loved, it is difficult to be motivated to respond. Respond and Respect seems to go hand in hand when loved.

The Deal is Never Closed - "Buried inside most women- even those in great relationships-is a latent insecurity about whether their man really loves them."

Windows...Open! - How women multitask and why they may not be able to let go of a grudge. Shows how to work through problems.

Your Real Job Is Closer to Home - Why women said they wouldn't mind their husband making less money if he could spend more time at home.

Listening Is the Solution - Why women sometimes just need to talk it out...excellent
advice. Some of the best I've read yet....

With Sex, Her "No" Doesn't mean You - Romance and what you say might be the key here.

The Girl in the Mirror - Are you really the mirror reflecting back what she wants to hear? As a husband, Jeff Feldhahn has some great wisdom to share.

You could save your marriage or relationship by following the ideas in "for men only." From personal experience, it might be a little dangerous to read each other's books. Only do so if very brave and ready for conflict resolution.

~The Rebecca Review Read more ›

82 of 88 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A must read... May 1, 2006

By Alan Reynolds

Format:Hardcover

My wife and I were going to be teaching seperate guys and girls Bible studies this summer. We bought this book, as well as For Women Only, in order to read up some in preparation to teach. We got a lot more than we bargained for.

On the one hand, this book will help neither of us much in preparation for our classes. On the other hand, it is a great book that I think every person should read. We began reading one night together, and almost instantly, our relationship began to improve. We didn't even have a bad relationship, but there's always room for improvement, right?

This book is easily accessible for just about anyone. The writing style is simple to read, and you will move along quickly. There is enough humor to make you chuckle throughout. While there are quite a few statistics, you won't find yourself bogged down in them. The research is done well and fairly unbiased. There are also some very practical things that anyone can do to help improve on their relationship.

My wife and I kept finding ourselves asking each other about the findings in the book. Amazingly enough, "For Men Only" seems to catch the truth about most women (just as "For Women Only" does about men). The writers are Christians (as are my wife and I), but they don't start with Scriptures to base their point. They let the statistics speak for themselves, and it just so happens that many of the results line up with biblical evidence.

All things said, it is a great book. It is a quick and easy read, as well as extremely helpful. If you are in a relationship, you can't afford not to read this book. My only suggestion is this...both partners need to read the volume for them together. It will open amazing dialogue between you.

52 of 56 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Very in-depth, we loved it! June 26, 2006

By Debbie TOP 1000 REVIEWERVINE™ VOICE

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

I'm a woman, and I read "For Women Only" first. In fact, I read that book several times, started to apply it, told my boyfriend about it, and then asked him if he'd like to read "For Men Only." He happily agreed. I first read the book (constantly thinking, "You mean, men don't know that!?!") while I also marked how I would have answered the survey questions. My boyfriend has now read this book several times and has started to apply it. He says he loves how I treat him (using information from "For Women Only") and I'm in bliss right now from his efforts to apply what he learned in "For Men Only." I've read other books on similar subjects, but none really get to the heart of the issues like these two little books. Thanks so much for writing them!

Update: Men (and women!), please don't think you're an expert on your mate just because you read this book several times. It's a great book, but listen if someone tells you that a part doesn't strongly apply to them! Believe me, most women would love this, but I'm getting sick and tired of being told I'm so beautiful and rock my boyfriend's world. That was never an issue for me and hearing this two or three times every time we interact is making the words lose all meaning to me, but my boyfriend won't stop because "it's in the book!"

86 of 101 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Best Book for Understanding Your Wife June 19, 2006

By Edward J. Vasicek

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

As a pastor of 27 years who does a lot of counseling, I wish this book had been written years ago. It clearly and succinctly discusses how women think and what they need from their husbands.

I have read many books about male/female differences (and numerous counseling books), so much of the material here I already knew. I was reading it to determine if I should recommend it to folks I counsel. I was surprised to find useful and practical information here I had never seen before.

For example, I have always known that women could multi-task and divide their attention, unlike men who focus intently upon one thing at a time. But I never knew that women could not help dividing their attention -- computer-like "windows" of thought involuntarily pop up in their minds, "windows" that could not be easily closed. This fact of "thought bombardments from the past" fits the reality I have observed, but I never could put my finger on it before reading this book.

The chapter about sex would help so many men and improve the sex lives of so many couples.

My only objection in the book is that it includes, "significant others," thus implying the legitimacy of live-in relationships. This is atypical for evangelical publishers.

Nonetheless, pastors and Christian couples will benefit greatly from this book.