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For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men [Hardcover]

Shaunti Feldhahn
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (506 customer reviews)

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For Women Only, Revised and Updated Edition: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men For Women Only, Revised and Updated Edition: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men 4.3 out of 5 stars (506)
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Book Description

July 28, 2004
What’s going on in a man’s mind? From their early days, every woman has struggled to understand why males behave the way they do. Even long-married women who think they understand men have only scratched the surface. Beneath a man’s rugged exterior is an even more rugged, unmapped terrain. What bestselling author Shaunti Feldhahn’s research reveals about the inner lives of men will open women’s eyes to what the men in their life—boyfriends, brothers, husbands, and sons—are really thinking and feeling. Men want to be understood, but they’re afraid to “freak out” the women they love by confessing what is happening inside their heads. This book will guide women in how to provide the loving support that modern men want and need.

The Truth About His Inner Life He Desperately Wants You to Know

What's going on in there? Ever been totally confused by something your man has said or done? Want to understand his secret desires and fears, his daily battles that you know nothing about?

In a woman-to-woman conversation you’ll never forget, Shaunti Feldhahn takes you beneath the surface into the inner lives of men. This book is about the things we just don’t ‘get’ about guys. With findings from a groundbreaking national survey and personal interviews of over one thousand men, For Women Only is full of eye-opening revelations you need to not only understand the man in your life, but to support and love him in the way he needs to be loved. Grounded in biblical hope, you will discover how to love your man for who he really is—not who you think he is.

Story Behind the Book

I had no idea how clueless I was about men until I interviewed a bunch of them for my last novel. Initially, I just wanted a little insight so I could write my main (male) character. But pretty soon I found myself astonished, over and over again blurting out, “That’s what you’re thinking?” So I did more interviews. After the novel hit shelves, dozens of women told me they also had been astonished by what I included. Clearly I wasn’t the only one who needed more insight on this!

To lay the groundwork for this nonfiction book, I wrote out the half-dozen things from these interviews that had most surprised me—things that appeared to be universal to most men—that women desperately needed to know. I conducted a professional national survey of men to test my findings. Yep—the survey substantiated every single one. These findings are fascinating—and they have already changed my life and marriage. I can’t wait to share them!

Frequently Bought Together

For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men + For Men Only, Revised and Updated Edition: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women + The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts
Price for all three: $34.39

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"What an important book!"
- Beth Moore

About the Author

Shaunti Feldhahn started out as an analyst on Wall Street and ended up a surprise bestselling author, encouraging the Christian community toward service and outreach with the #1 bestseller Y2K: The Millennium Bug—A Balanced Christian Response. Also an author of message fiction, Shaunti is a newspaper columnist on women’s issues, contributing the conservative opinion for the Atlanta Journal- Constitution’s popular online “Woman to Woman” column. Shaunti and her husband, Jeff, are active leaders in their church, leading a home group that encourages married couples toward greater intimacy with God and each other.

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 208 pages
  • Publisher: Multnomah Books; 1 edition (July 28, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1590523172
  • ISBN-13: 978-1590523179
  • Product Dimensions: 7.2 x 5.3 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (506 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #33,356 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

SHAUNTI FELDHAHN is a wife and mom first, as well as a popular speaker and best-selling author. After receiving a graduate degree from Harvard, Shaunti started out on Wall Street, but now applies her analytical experience in a totally different way. Today, Shaunti is a social researcher investigating the most important things we all need to know about the most important people in our lives - the vital surprises about the inner thoughts, feelings, fears and needs that they deeply wish we understood. As a result, her research has uncovered the little changes that have big impacts in our lives, marriages, families and workplace relationships. Her eye-opening books, including For Women Only: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men, and For Men Only: A Straightforward Guide to the Inner Lives of Women, have sold more than two million copies in 22 languages. Close to her own personal challenges, Shaunti has also tackled how to have biblical life balance as a busy modern woman (The Life Ready Woman: Thriving In a Do-It-All World) and how teen and pre-teen girls (like her daughter) can look to God for affirmation, instead of to friends, guys, clothes, or food (Made to Crave for Young Women, co-authored with Lysa TerKeurst). Shaunti has also uncovered knowledge that has proven to be game-changing for talented, high-potential women in the workplace as well as for men who want to cultivate positive working relationships and champion female players for advancement (The Male Factor: The Unwritten Rules, Misperceptions and Secret Beliefs of Men in the Workplace).

Shaunti's keynote speeches, pastoral interviews, leadership consultations and team training sessions are based on more than ten years of research, including countless surveys and thousands of interviews and focus groups with men, women and teens across the globe. Shaunti and her findings have been featured in media as diverse as The Today Show and Focus on the Family, The New York Times and MomLife Today, Cosmo and Lifeway's Living With Teenagers magazine. Based out of Atlanta, she and her family are intensely grateful for the crazy but wonderful life God has given them.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
752 of 837 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Another man's perspective: Do I get off this easy? March 23, 2005
By lfisher
Format:Hardcover
I recently ordered this book for my wife's birthday as a way of opening up one more avenue of communication and understanding in our marriage. After reading it myself first, I increasingly felt very hesitant to give it to my wife. Why? Although the book certainly raises important issues that are a great conversational starting point, I can't help but feel that Feldhahn's book is saturated with a particular kind of "submissive wife" ideology common in various evangelical Protestant circles. One of Feldhahn's driving theses is that men are wired a certain way, so the key to a successful marriage is for women to discover the intricacies of that wiring and then adapt themselves accordingly (Feldhahn tells her women readers that these "fascinating new secrets" about men are "supposed to change and improve us [women]" [p.19-20]). Although that might be in fact what men want, I'm unconvinced that is always what we or our marriages need. Following the suggestions in this book might make a happier husband but a more unfulfilled, subservient wife.

That's not to say I can't relate to much of what she describes. Her analysis of the inner wiring of men is interesting and accurate for the most part (although certainly some aspects are probably overstated), but it's her prescriptive "solutions" that seem misguided. In my experience, a marriage works best when good communication leads to mutual compromises. To have wives coddle their husbands might produce the desired results in the short term, but I think it is worth thinking about the reciprocal nature of a good marriage for long-term success. Is it too much to ask that husbands should work just as hard to figure out the needs and desires of their wives and adapt themselves as well? I hope not.
... Read more ›
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244 of 277 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Spot ON! December 14, 2004
Format:Hardcover
I am a bookstore junkie, big time, and one of my absolute favorite bookstores is LifeWay. While I was browsing one day about a month ago, I came across this book in the new release section. Having already read a fiction book by Shaunti Feldhahn, I picked up this non-fiction book even though I thought the cover was rather lame (also, Beth Moore's favorable quote on the cover got my attention). I started reading and by the time I had scanned (in depth) the first 3 chapters, I knew I was on to something important. My wife is not as "into" these types of books as I am, so I chose to run it by her first. I waited a couple of days until the moment seemed right to bring up the topic, and asked her if she wouldn't mind if I gave her the book (I explained it briefly) - she said she wouldn't mind at all. So I bought it the next day and gave it to her that night. My wife is a processor, luckily for me, and she is reading a chapter every few days and then letting that one soak in. If you should choose to read this book, I would urge you to take your time reading it. Each chapter goes into depth in a particular area concerning men, but does so in a way that is not bogged down in psych tech-speak. At a point about 4 chapters in, she asked me to read the book and decide which chapters fit me more than others - she wanted me to, in essence, rank the chapters. She had a tough time wording how she was feeling as she read more and more of the book, but what I gather is that she is genuinely taken aback by what the author has found out about men, and possibly even having a little trouble processing all the information, some of which, no doubt, is new to her, or if not new, I dare say she had no idea as to the depth.

After reading the book myself, this is what I want to say to you, the wives.
... Read more ›
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220 of 255 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book changed my marriage February 1, 2005
Format:Hardcover
I thought I was happily married, I mean, come on I love my husband, and he loves me. I'm a Flight Attendant and successful author, what is there left to learn about men, that I don't know. Then I saw an interview with Shaunti on TV and I was stunned. The book sounded facinating. She interviewed 1,000 guys and tallied up the results. I got the book - read it in one setting and then quizzed my husband. "Honey, you don't think this...do you?" He did. My eyes were opened. And I saw my husband as "so different" from me, someone who responds to different things, will respond differently than me. You need to get this book. I have told everyone I know, men and woman, this book will change your marriage.
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59 of 68 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
This was an excellent book. Before giving my own personal review of it though I'd like to answer a few of the critics of the book (as in the critics in the Amazon reviews below)

--------------------------------------------------

As per M. Duffy comments under "So What?" M. declares that "She's not changing for any man." This sounds like the comments of someone who expects that any man who's with her should change everything about himself to suit her. The fact is that relationships are a TWO-WAY street: this book is meant to be one-half of the overall issue (the author is very clear about this). The book in no way says that "men should do whatever they want and women should only do what the man wants them to do." If that's how M. Duffy read the book, she's sadly mistaken. If she knows that the book isn't saying the above but she's pretending that's what it's saying, then she's simply being intellectually dishonest, making her review irrelevant.

As per I. Bodden's comments: Her review is just drooling with disdain for anyone who doesn't have as high and mighty of views as she does. Perhaps it's time to open her eyes to the fact that not everyone has the "knowledge" that she does, and perhaps a lot of these "obvious" things are not so obvious. Her cheap shots at 'religious' people also reveals either that 1. she's simply had bad experience with 'religious' people (which is unfortunate, but you cannot judge any philosophy/religion by its illogical outworkings) or 2. her own mind is too tiny to comprehend the idea of the supernatural (I find that most people only accuse other people of having 'closed minds' when that particular person disagrees with the one who's making the accusation) or 3.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Good for your marital library
Date: 6/4/13
Title: For Women Only
Author: Shaunti Feldhahn
ISBN 13: 978-1601424440
Pages: 224
Publisher: Multnomah Book
Cover: Hardcover... Read more
Published 5 hours ago by Literary Wonders!
5.0 out of 5 stars Must Have resource!
A great book that tells why men do the things they do and how we can use that information to enhance our marriages. I love the format and easy to read style of writing.
Published 9 hours ago by Caroline S. Shinn
2.0 out of 5 stars Confusing overgeneralizations
I'm being generous and giving this two stars because it's well written and does contain SOME facts.

What do you do when you read a book about "this is how men are wired"... Read more
Published 1 day ago by Alice Fielding
5.0 out of 5 stars For Women Only
The author created this book based on research with thousands of men and gives an excellent compilation of her findings and presents what she believes every woman--single or... Read more
Published 14 days ago by Johnson
5.0 out of 5 stars For Women Only (revised and updated edition)
I find it interesting how, shortly after I decided to not request any more marriage books for review, this one was available to me. Read more
Published 17 days ago by Sonya Jeffords
1.0 out of 5 stars Lame
This book will never win literary awards for originality. It smacked of regurgitated and stereotypical gender roles that makes for amusing reading, nothing more. Read more
Published 18 days ago by Janna Yore
5.0 out of 5 stars Fascinating!!!
I read For Women Only by Shaunti Feldman. I had heard of this book before, but this is a newly revised and updated edition. Read more
Published 19 days ago by L. Shaffer
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Insight
I cannot say enough good things about this book! I read the original version of it, and this revised and updated edition continues the excellent research and informative writing of... Read more
Published 19 days ago by Heather
5.0 out of 5 stars Very insightful
I recommend this book for wives who want to know and understand their husbands better. Based on statistically accurate studies, Shaunti Feldhahn reveals how men think and what... Read more
Published 20 days ago by Sher
5.0 out of 5 stars MUST READ!
This book is very insightful and helpful for women of all ages, especially young married women. I strongly recommend it for the newly married young woman who has a desire to be... Read more
Published 20 days ago by Ted R Drayer
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For Women Only....What Women Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men
To Seeker: Excellent points made!! I am going to buy this book and read it, b/c I agree with you. This book describes men in their "fallen" state after Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden --- hence their "natural man" thoughts. To overcome these, both genders must... Read more
Apr 14, 2009 by Words Are Weapons for Good or Evil; Truth... |  See all 3 posts
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