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For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men Hardcover – July 28, 2004

520 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews


"What an important book!"
- Beth Moore

About the Author

Shaunti Feldhahn started out as an analyst on Wall Street and ended up a surprise bestselling author, encouraging the Christian community toward service and outreach with the #1 bestseller Y2K: The Millennium Bug - A Balanced Christian Response. Also an author of message fiction, Shaunti is a newspaper columnist on women's issues, contributing the conservative opinion for the Atlanta Journal- Constitution's popular online "Woman to Woman" column. Shaunti and her husband, Jeff, are active leaders in their church, leading a home group that encourages married couples toward greater intimacy with God and each other.

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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 192 pages
  • Publisher: Multnomah; 1 edition (July 28, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1590523172
  • ISBN-13: 978-1590523179
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.7 x 7.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (520 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #23,841 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Author and Speaker: SHAUNTI FELDHAHN

Contact for Speaking Engagements: Naomi Duncan at or 615-300-4837

Shaunti received her graduate degree from Harvard University and was an analyst on Wall Street before unexpectedly becoming a social researcher and best-selling author.

Today, she applies her analytical skills to investigating eye-opening, life-changing truths about relationships, both at home and in the workplace. Her groundbreaking research-based books, such as For Women Only, have sold more than 2 million copies in 22 languages and are widely read in homes, counseling centers and corporations worldwide.

Where the "Only" series revealed the often-unseen needs of men and women, her multi-year research project, published in The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages, investigates the process of what makes great relationships.

On May 6th her newest book The Good News About Marriage will be released. This research centers around the good news about marriage, debunking the grim facts we've heard for so long about marriage and divorce: Half of all marriages end in divorce. The divorce rate inside the church is the same as outside. And, most marriages are just holding on. But what if these "facts" are actually myths? In The Good News About Marriage, Shaunti Feldhahn presents groundbreaking research that reveals the shocking, incredibly inspiring truth:

* The actual divorce rate has never gotten close to 50 percent.
* Those who attend church regularly have a significantly lower divorce rate than those who don't.
* Most marriages are happy.
* Simple changes make a big difference in most marriage problems.
* Most remarriages succeed.

Shaunti's findings have been featured in media as diverse as The Today Show and Focus on the Family, The New York Times and MomLife Today. Shaunti, Jeff and their two children live in Atlanta and enjoy every minute of living life at warp speed.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

827 of 922 people found the following review helpful By Kindle Customer on March 23, 2005
Format: Hardcover
I recently ordered this book for my wife's birthday as a way of opening up one more avenue of communication and understanding in our marriage. After reading it myself first, I increasingly felt very hesitant to give it to my wife. Why? Although the book certainly raises important issues that are a great conversational starting point, I can't help but feel that Feldhahn's book is saturated with a particular kind of "submissive wife" ideology common in various evangelical Protestant circles. One of Feldhahn's driving theses is that men are wired a certain way, so the key to a successful marriage is for women to discover the intricacies of that wiring and then adapt themselves accordingly (Feldhahn tells her women readers that these "fascinating new secrets" about men are "supposed to change and improve us [women]" [p.19-20]). Although that might be in fact what men want, I'm unconvinced that is always what we or our marriages need. Following the suggestions in this book might make a happier husband but a more unfulfilled, subservient wife.

That's not to say I can't relate to much of what she describes. Her analysis of the inner wiring of men is interesting and accurate for the most part (although certainly some aspects are probably overstated), but it's her prescriptive "solutions" that seem misguided. In my experience, a marriage works best when good communication leads to mutual compromises. To have wives coddle their husbands might produce the desired results in the short term, but I think it is worth thinking about the reciprocal nature of a good marriage for long-term success. Is it too much to ask that husbands should work just as hard to figure out the needs and desires of their wives and adapt themselves as well? I hope not.
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264 of 298 people found the following review helpful By on December 14, 2004
Format: Hardcover
I am a bookstore junkie, big time, and one of my absolute favorite bookstores is LifeWay. While I was browsing one day about a month ago, I came across this book in the new release section. Having already read a fiction book by Shaunti Feldhahn, I picked up this non-fiction book even though I thought the cover was rather lame (also, Beth Moore's favorable quote on the cover got my attention). I started reading and by the time I had scanned (in depth) the first 3 chapters, I knew I was on to something important. My wife is not as "into" these types of books as I am, so I chose to run it by her first. I waited a couple of days until the moment seemed right to bring up the topic, and asked her if she wouldn't mind if I gave her the book (I explained it briefly) - she said she wouldn't mind at all. So I bought it the next day and gave it to her that night. My wife is a processor, luckily for me, and she is reading a chapter every few days and then letting that one soak in. If you should choose to read this book, I would urge you to take your time reading it. Each chapter goes into depth in a particular area concerning men, but does so in a way that is not bogged down in psych tech-speak. At a point about 4 chapters in, she asked me to read the book and decide which chapters fit me more than others - she wanted me to, in essence, rank the chapters. She had a tough time wording how she was feeling as she read more and more of the book, but what I gather is that she is genuinely taken aback by what the author has found out about men, and possibly even having a little trouble processing all the information, some of which, no doubt, is new to her, or if not new, I dare say she had no idea as to the depth.

After reading the book myself, this is what I want to say to you, the wives.
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232 of 270 people found the following review helpful By Marsha Marks VINE VOICE on February 1, 2005
Format: Hardcover
I thought I was happily married, I mean, come on I love my husband, and he loves me. I'm a Flight Attendant and successful author, what is there left to learn about men, that I don't know. Then I saw an interview with Shaunti on TV and I was stunned. The book sounded facinating. She interviewed 1,000 guys and tallied up the results. I got the book - read it in one setting and then quizzed my husband. "Honey, you don't think you?" He did. My eyes were opened. And I saw my husband as "so different" from me, someone who responds to different things, will respond differently than me. You need to get this book. I have told everyone I know, men and woman, this book will change your marriage.
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65 of 78 people found the following review helpful By G. Gilbert on September 18, 2006
Format: Hardcover
This was an excellent book. Before giving my own personal review of it though I'd like to answer a few of the critics of the book (as in the critics in the Amazon reviews below)


As per M. Duffy comments under "So What?" M. declares that "She's not changing for any man." This sounds like the comments of someone who expects that any man who's with her should change everything about himself to suit her. The fact is that relationships are a TWO-WAY street: this book is meant to be one-half of the overall issue (the author is very clear about this). The book in no way says that "men should do whatever they want and women should only do what the man wants them to do." If that's how M. Duffy read the book, she's sadly mistaken. If she knows that the book isn't saying the above but she's pretending that's what it's saying, then she's simply being intellectually dishonest, making her review irrelevant.

As per I. Bodden's comments: Her review is just drooling with disdain for anyone who doesn't have as high and mighty of views as she does. Perhaps it's time to open her eyes to the fact that not everyone has the "knowledge" that she does, and perhaps a lot of these "obvious" things are not so obvious. Her cheap shots at 'religious' people also reveals either that 1. she's simply had bad experience with 'religious' people (which is unfortunate, but you cannot judge any philosophy/religion by its illogical outworkings) or 2. her own mind is too tiny to comprehend the idea of the supernatural (I find that most people only accuse other people of having 'closed minds' when that particular person disagrees with the one who's making the accusation) or 3.
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