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For Yourself : The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality Mass Market Paperback – December 1, 2000

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For Yourself : The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality + Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women + The Elusive Orgasm: A Woman's Guide to Why She Can't and How She Can Orgasm
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Should be read not only by women but by their partners." -- Mary Calderone, M.D.

About the Author

Dr. Lonnie Barbach received her M.A. and Ph.D. in clinical social psychology from the Wright Institute in Berkeley, California. She is now on the clinical faculty of the University of California Medical School in San Francisco and also has a private practice. Among her several bestselling books on sex and relationships are For Yourself, Pleasures, Going the Distance, The Pause, Seductions, The Erotic Edge, and Erotic Interludes, her book with her partner, David Geisinger, Ph.D. They live in Mill Valley, California, with their daughter, Tess.

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Product Details

  • Mass Market Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Signet; 1 edition (December 1, 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0451202007
  • ISBN-13: 978-0451202000
  • Product Dimensions: 4.2 x 0.6 x 6.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 3.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (28 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #159,301 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Lonnie Barbach is considered the Dear Abby of sexuality and relationships for the baby boom generation. From For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality to The Pause: Positive Approaches to Perimenopause and Menopause, Dr. Barbach has guided countless women through the stages of sexual discovery. Her practical and sage advice is characterized by unjudgmental warmth, always with an emphasis on self-determination and pleasure.

Her work as a couple's therapist for more than three decades and the publication of Going the Distance: Finding and Keeping Lifelong Love crafted with David Geisinger, Ph.D., her partner of 25 years, has defined Dr. Barbach as an acknowledged expert on intimate relationships.

As one of the first co-directors of clinical training at the University of California San Francisco, Human Sexuality Progam, Dr. Barbach created the women's preorgasmic group treatment program. Considered a pioneer in her field, her dozen books, translated into an equal number of languages, have sold over 4 million copies in the U.S. alone. She is a life member of the American Psychological Association, a member of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists and an elected member of the International Society for the Study of Women's Sexual Health.

Dr Barbach has appeared on hundreds of local radio and television programs as well as most nationally televised talk shows, many several times, including Oprah, Good Morning America, The Today Show, CBS Morning News, and Charlie Rose. She had her own bimonthly segment on San Francisco's KPIX Morning Show for more than 18 months.

Dr. Barbach's contracted advice columns have appeared in Playgirl Magazine, New Woman Magazine, eternelle Magazine and McCall's. She was featured as the lead story, her photograph on the cover, of the 25th anniversary edition of San Francisco Magazine. Articles and excerpts from her books have been published in magazines ranging from Family Circle and Redbook to Cosmopolitan and Men's Health. And her edited compilations of female oriented erotica initiated a new literary genre.
She has authored books, videos or CDs on the following subjects:

Female Sexuality
Sexual Desire
Erotica
Menopause
Rapid Ejaculation
Erection Problems
Sex after 50
Relationship Communication

In 2012, her first book, For Yourself: the fulfillment of female sexuality was recently ranked the #1 self-help book across all surveys carried out by the National Register of Health Care Providers in Psychology, the major credentialing organization for psychologists. For Each Other: sharing sexual intimacy was ranked #4.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

64 of 68 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on June 4, 2003
Format: Mass Market Paperback
I just finished reading this book last night. When I first picked it up and read the first few chapters, I was so engrossed that I couldn't put it down. Within the first few pages I felt like the author was addressing me personally. Before this book I really thought I was the only woman on planet Earth that couldn't have an orgasm and I felt very uncomfortable sharing this problem with anyone for fear that I'd be told that I was a freak of nature and would need to be shot to be put out of my misery. I was so relieved to find that there was actually a whole book written about this problem and that I was not alone.
Some readers here have commented that certain sections of the book are outdated, especially the parts that deal with the distorted ways that women are brought up to view sex, but believe me, there are still a lot of us out there that were brought this way and I'm only 28. Cultural and religious background may have a big impact on this. I had a Hispanic, Catholic upbringing. But this book never speaks to a specific type of woman, it speaks to ALL women, in a warm, straighforward manner. The concept is that physiologically, we are all the same.
Indeed the one and only thing that I found quite disturbing about this book is in the Chapter on how to bring your children up to be sexually healthy. It straight up says it's okay to have sexual feelings and fantasies about your children, just don't act upon those feelings. I'm not a psychologist but that doesn't sound right to me. I think someone who has those thoughts and feelings towards a child, no matter whose they are, probably has some other sexual issues and should seek some professional help!
Other than that, I can honestly say this book changed me.
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29 of 30 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on June 6, 2004
Format: Mass Market Paperback
Originally published in 1975 during the height of the womens lib movement, this is THE classic text to help women understand their own sexual response and become orgasmic - with or without a partner. This book has the potential to cause a revolutionary shift in the consciousness of women who persist in believing that the penis is king, i.e., that women can only have orgasms with the assistance of a thrusting male member. Wrong, wrong, WRONG. The penis is NOT a necessary condition for female orgasm. Barbach notes in the opening chapter that "minor surgery can be performed on the inner two thirds of the vagina without an anesthetic." So in reality, it is the clitoris and not the vagina that is the female sex organ. The clitoris exists purely to provide women with sexual pleasure. It's funny how the clitoris is no where near the vaginal opening. Nature's little joke? Perhaps. The message of Dr. Barbach's book: women, take responsibility for your own sexual pleasure, and don't wait around for the "Magic Penis" or "Mr. Right" to give you that elusive orgasm.
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24 of 26 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on February 12, 2003
Format: Mass Market Paperback
I read this book in the late 1970's and because of it have gone on to lead a "normal" sex life. She tells it like it is; the title got me because of an abusive partner--abusive emotionally and uneducated in the ways of sex. I decided that I could "do this for myself" as the title indicated and DID! If it had not been for the information in this book, we might have been divorced--or worse I would have been in some institution!! It is a great book for achieving the female orgasm. It may not be needed by all, but probably IS needed by more than most men will admit AND by more women who don't even KNOW their lives can be changed. Believe me, honey, you are NOT frigid as you've been told! Read the book!! Thank you, Lonnie Barbach!!
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Christine Jacobs on January 9, 2007
Format: Mass Market Paperback
This book is very informative. It answered a lot of questions that I had about female sexuality--the kind of questions I don't even feel comfortable asking my close female friends about. I had never experienced an orgasm prior to reading this book, and I didn't think it would ever happen for me--I thought I was inorgasmic. This books points out that I was pre-orgasmic--and what do you know, I was about halfway into the book when I crossed over. I am now able to orgasm fairly regularly!
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful By Lolly on February 24, 2006
Format: Mass Market Paperback
This was a very informative and helpful book. It tells you all the things you wanted them to tell you, but they didn't, in that sex-ed class we all have in school. Has great ideas for learning to grow as a person by realizing that everyone has sexual wants and desires, it is normal. I think men should read it too.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on September 4, 2008
Format: Mass Market Paperback Verified Purchase
Very good info. If you have never had an orgasmic experience it is a nice exercise of how to get your mind and body going. It has good basic anatomy and helpful tips for those who already know about orgasm. It can NEVER hurt to learn more about your body!
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Froggy on January 16, 2014
Format: Mass Market Paperback Verified Purchase
As a husband and father I believe that this book has helped me understand better the issues that are within a female's sexuality. I strongly recommend reading it as a man wanting to support women in his life. Wives, futures, daughters, and maybe girl friends could stand to have this dropped on a night stand, in a gift bag, or handed out around "the talk".

I read it to my wife and we both found it informative. It helped clear up old hang ups and regrets as well as show itself as a great resource for the squeamish when trying to be proactive with children's sexuality issues. For Christians/Religious types (we are) it will stretch you a bit but having done the research and investigating it passes the James Dobson sniff test. Can't say that all other will agree but for what it is worth it has helped my teen through 20's daughters say "No" and not feel like they are missing out.

The focus is making YOU the focus and knowing YOURSELF before worrying about pleasing OTHERS. Is that selfish? Absolutely not! You are no good to anyone if you are broken or falling down. Even the airlines tell you to put your own mask on first! Yes, it goes there. M is encouraged and NO, you will not find Biblical verses in the New or Old Testament(Female/Torah) addressing it. Great for singles, married, teens, husbands, fiances, or anyone trying to understand. I my humble opinion a good man will educate himself so he can be a better partner, husband, and father. Just saying.
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