Forced to Be Family: A Guide for Living with Sinister Sisters, Drama Mamas, and Infuriating In-Laws [Hardcover]

Cheryl Dellasega PhD (Author)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Relationship counselor Dellasega adds to her long list of self-help books dealing with mean and troubled women (Surviving Ophelia, Girl Wars, Mean Girls Grown Up). Chock-full of real-life, victim-oriented stories by complaining women, Dellasega's latest is based on the idea that no one can hurt a woman more than a member of her own family, especially if the aggressor is female. Dellasega, a professor in the College of Medicine and in the department of humanities and women's studies at Penn State, offers depressing tales of women betraying their sisters and mothers-in-law humiliating their sons' wives. No longer a symptom of what used to be called a dysfunctional family, Dellasega labels this unrest Relative Relational Aggression or Relative RA. By the end, one can't help but long for the sensible advice of the late Ann Landers. Once, when someone wrote in to her asking what to do when a family member was rude to you, Landers told her to simply say, Excuse me? But then where's the drama in that? (Oct.)
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Review

Relationship counselor Dellasega adds to her long list of self-help books dealing with mean and troubled women (Surviving Ophelia, Girl Wars,Mean Girls Grown Up). Chock-full of real-life, victim-oriented stories by complaining women, Dellasega's latest is based on the idea that no one can hurt a woman more than a member of her own family, especially if the aggressor is female. Dellasega, a professor in the College of Medicine and in the department of humanities and women's studies at Penn State, offers depressing tales of women betraying their sisters and mothers-in-law humiliating their sons' wives. No longer a symptom of what used to be called a “dysfunctional family,” Dellasega labels this unrest “Relative Relational Aggression” or “Relative RA.” By the end, one can't help but long for the sensible advice of the late Ann Landers. Once, when someone wrote in to her asking what to do when a family member was rude to you, Landers told her to simply say, “Excuse me?” But then where's the drama in that? (Oct.) (Publishers Weekly, August 20, 2007)

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 272 pages
• Publisher: Wiley (September 28, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0470049995
• ISBN-13: 978-0470049990
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.2 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #323,452 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars A rehash of what everyone knows, January 11, 2008

By	angusmacscottie "RJB" (Fishers, IN USA) - See all my reviews

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This review is from: Forced to Be Family: A Guide for Living with Sinister Sisters, Drama Mamas, and Infuriating In-Laws (Hardcover)

The author resurrects all the old cliches about mothers-in-law, backbiting sisters, and other assorted dysfunctional family members. The book was surprisingly uninforming. Anyone could have written this book. If you want masterful advice as to how to deal with these people, read Dickens, he's covered just about all the problems families pose, with more panache, pathos, and genius.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Not quite as advertised, August 7, 2008

By	Liz Hamilton (SC, USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Forced to Be Family: A Guide for Living with Sinister Sisters, Drama Mamas, and Infuriating In-Laws (Hardcover)

This book provides vivid anecdotes about relationship aggression (some of which I would categorize as abuse)and does an excellent job of describing the nature of the problem. It provides relatively little information, however, about how to deal effectively with these difficult family situations. More how-tos would significantly strengthen this book.

5 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Highly recommend this book before the holidays!, November 12, 2007

By	Karate Mom (Arlington, TX) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Forced to Be Family: A Guide for Living with Sinister Sisters, Drama Mamas, and Infuriating In-Laws (Hardcover)

I just finished reading "Forced to Be Family" and hope that EVERYONE reads this before their next family gathering. The stories Dr. Dellasega shares in this book are real, touching, and sometimes emotional. There were so many I could relate to personally.

It really made me think about myself and re-examine how I interact with the various women in my life, both family members and friends. Some of the quizzes in the book are amazing, and it was an eye opener to me when I honestly answered the questions in regards to close family members.

I am so glad I read this before my family gathers over the holidays. I am planning to use the tools in this book to make MY holidays smoother and really think about how I choose to react to the various personality types I'll face over the next few months.

Every woman needs to read this book!