Customer Reviews

Forced to Be Family: A Guide for Living with Sinister Sisters, Drama Mamas, and Infuriating In-Laws

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

The author resurrects all the old cliches about mothers-in-law, backbiting sisters, and other assorted dysfunctional family members. The book was surprisingly uninforming. Anyone could have written this book. If you want masterful advice as to how to deal with these people, read Dickens, he's covered just about all the problems families pose, with more panache, pathos, and genius.

I'm giving this book two stars instead of one, because I think someone could find it helpful. It spends a lot of pages dealing with issues between sisters, and issues between mothers and daughters. For people with those specific issues, this might be an excellent book.

However, I read this book hoping to find some insights into problems with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law, more specifically looking for some explanation or understanding of my sister-in-law's behavior, and perhaps so tips for both situations. Unfortunately, the chapter entitled "Mothers and Sisters By Law" mostly informs the reader that there are websites where people are able to share their woes, talks about competition between sisters from a sister-in-law's point of view, and shares some statistics. For a book that admits that family problems are most commonly with mother-in-laws and sister-in-laws, this chapter reads like a last minute report. You know the one when the student stays up all night trying to make a few hours worth of research seem like they spent weeks on it? That one.

At the end of the chapter the author admits that she is one of the fortunate few that has always liked her sisters-in-law. Really? That's nice. But then the chapter ends. The only enlightening bit about sisters-in-law in the entire chapter is that "One expert I spoke with assured me that sisters will never get along with their brother's wives because of territorial issues." The author attributes this sentiment to cave-woman instincts, but does not elaborate. At one point there is a reference to "take-backs," a type of behavior wherein one party insults the other and then claims to have been joking, but there are no examples given, and no tips to be found for dealing with it.

At the very end of the book the author tries to give some universal advice in how to improve problems within families. I skimmed until I found the chapter "Special Solutions for In-Laws and Exes." Some of the advice is so simplistic that is unhelpfully obvious, while other bits of advice are helplessly naive. If you are someone who already has in-law problems, be warned that this chapter will frustrate you. "Live and let live." The author says. "Enjoy the moment." Advice that is about as helpful and insightful as a greeting card.

This book provides vivid anecdotes about relationship aggression (some of which I would categorize as abuse)and does an excellent job of describing the nature of the problem. It provides relatively little information, however, about how to deal effectively with these difficult family situations. More how-tos would significantly strengthen this book.

I just finished reading "Forced to Be Family" and hope that EVERYONE reads this before their next family gathering. The stories Dr. Dellasega shares in this book are real, touching, and sometimes emotional. There were so many I could relate to personally.

It really made me think about myself and re-examine how I interact with the various women in my life, both family members and friends. Some of the quizzes in the book are amazing, and it was an eye opener to me when I honestly answered the questions in regards to close family members.

I am so glad I read this before my family gathers over the holidays. I am planning to use the tools in this book to make MY holidays smoother and really think about how I choose to react to the various personality types I'll face over the next few months.

Every woman needs to read this book!

Wow - I never thought I'd find a book so easy and enjoyable to read and so helpful on a touchy topic. Dr. Dellasega comes through with heartfelt, professional advice on family relationships - many I find myself searching for answers for during holidays, picnics, weddings and day to day conversations with family females. A great, subtle holiday gift and message for those who may be culprits in your own family life - without the awkward confrontation!!! A real gem!


Elizabeth Cook, Harrisburg - PA

Dr Dellasega continues to establish herself as the ultimate authority on women and relational aggression. This is her finest work to date that explores all aspects of women's relationships among relatives. The brief exercises really gave me insight into how I react in those family gatherings and more importantly what I need to change. It's a must read for all of us who yearn for more meaningful connections with the women of our families.

Dr. Cheryl Dellasega has done it again. I actually thought this book was written for the women in my family and the challenges we face to stay bonded through love, forgiveness and patience. To connect relational aggression to family relationships was an eye opener which before reading I had not considered. Thank you Cheryl for another excellent book.

Dr. Dellasega has done it again! This book gives provides insight and captures the truth and reality about how women think and feel about those closest to us. A great read for those looking to gain a deeper understanding about relationships with the women who have shaped our own perceptions.

This book was fabulous! So fabulous in fact, that I am buying a copy for every female relative I have. Thanks, Cheryl Dellasega, for helping me understand my relationships with my female relatives.