Customer Reviews

Forget Me Not: A Memoir

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Jennifer Lowe-Anker is a very good writer and her late husband Alex was probably even more gifted with words. I found the story very sad and depressing. Alex never put his wife or children first in his life. His life was all about Alex and where he wanted to go and what he wanted to climb. He didn't care if he missed birthdays, anniversaries or holidays. He didn't care if he made Jenni move away from her beloved, dying grandmother. He probably needed that attitude in order to survive as long as he did taking huge risks in an extreme sport. That Jenni chose him for her partner was her choice but I felt really badly for their children. In the forward, Jon Krakauer wrote that Alex loved his family unconditionally. Not true. He loved them to not make any demands on him. Jenni wrote that he was unpleasant when he could not have his way and get away. She put up with a lot and excused even more. She even acknowledged that some other climbers found him to be a prima donna. I think she found it easy to fall in love with another man just months after the death of Alex because she never felt really bound to him.

I also found it sad to discover that because climbers from industrialized nations have the time and money for this expensive, dangerous sport, that they employ native Sherpas and Tibetans as their guides and carriers putting them at huge risk. For these impoverished people, how could they not be tempted by the money? I have since found that the death and injury rate among these native people is even higher than for the climbers who employ them. More selfishness.

So, although the book was very well written, I guess I am the oddball who was not enthralled by Alex Lowe. He regularly risked his life, his sons' father, for no other purpose than to feel like he was on top of the world. To me, a man is a hero when he puts his family and not himself first.

I'm sorry...but, am I the only person who thinks Alex Lowe was one of the most self-centered, self-absorbed people on the planet? I couldn't even finish this book. The writing style was nice, but it made me so angry to hear Jennifer make a steady stream of excuses and justifications for Alex and his ridiculously dangerous pursuits.

If you are a born adventurer...fine. If you love the adrenaline rush of extreme sports...fine. If you love risking your life in pursuit of your dreams...fine. But, don't bring children into the world who have no say in such things. My heart aches for Alex and Jennifer's children - for all of the birthdays, holidays and special events missed their dad chose to miss...for all the times their dad chose mountain climbing over them.

The whole story really turned my stomach. I choose not to glorify a man like this. A real man realizes that when he becomes a father, life is no longer just about him. It is about something much bigger. Unfortunately, the biggest thing in Alex Lowe's life was mountain climbing.

I admire Jennifer Lowe-Anker for her accomplishments and capability to cope, but I felt very sad for her as she tried to live her life with out Alex ever really being there for her. His love letters were beautiful, but writing of love is a distant cry from acting out of love. I admired Alex for his love of nature, extreme drive and outstanding athletic ability. I am glad that he respected and was able to learn from other cultures. Those relationships seemed important to him, but of course they can only go so far and then the trip is over and it is time to go home. I hope that Jennifer has found true love with Conrad Anker. From her writing about him, I gather that she has.

I have followed the climbing careers of Alex Lowe and Conrad Anker for many years, ever since I first met them when they were both working in Salt Lake City. I was actually in Tibet at the time Alex, David and Conrad were caught in the avalanche that took the lives of Alex and David. I got to meet Jenni in 2007. They are all people who are warm and loving, and this book brings that to the forefront. After reading it, I feel as if I've been admitted to their circle of best friends.
I see several reviewers bashing Alex for being self - centered. Obviously they never met him. They just do not understand the magnetism the mountains have for a certain group of people. Jenni understands it because she has it also. She made choices with full knowledge of the possibilities and the hardships, because it was worth it to her to have Alex in her life. As for myself, I feel privileged to know them, because of the strong positive Spirit they exude. I couldn't have been happier when I heard that Jenni and Conrad had married. They both lost their best friend, but found each other and continued happiness in the process. This book conveys the positive outlook and hope that they have been able to continue to enjoy in their lives, and I applaud them.

I was increasingly impressed with this book as I read on. I found the writing to be excellent for someone who is not an author by profession. I think this is true for several reasons. She is a woman who thinks deeply and has taken the time to mull over what has happened to her. She is a reader and she is a writer, someone who has taken the time to write in journals and letters. I suspect she may have had some excellent professional guidance, but I get the feeling the work is genuinely hers. Time and again I marveled at how she had chosen just the right excerpt from his letters or hers or her son's, how she condensed some part and took her time to explain others. Unlike some of the other reviewers I get the impression she has given us a balanced, three-dimensional portrait of her late husband. I can see how others would not have found him to be the ideal mate. I admire her energy, resilience, focus, and creativity. I skimmed over a lot of the technnical climbing jargon and description, but this didn't slow the book down. This life is so different from my own, but it was interesting to have shared a little of this.

My husband doesn't typically cry. He's not opposed to emoting and doesn't think real men don't cry. He just doesn't find much to cry about, so when he tried to read a passage aloud to me from Forget Me Not, but couldn't make it through for the emotion clogging his throat, he got my attention. Likewise, when my sister spotted the book lying on my coffee table and picked it up to take a quick perusal but ended up having to take it home because she couldn't put it down, I took note. Their reactions to Lowe-Anker's book paralleled my own. Although our reactions were similar, the reasons were different. My husband was moved beyond words by the Lowe boys' loss of their father, whereas my sister was hooked by sheer adventure: "Why read somebody's made-up story when this adventure is so amazing and it happened to real people!"

I read memoirs and biographies for their lessons on living. Lowe-Anker's memoir offers a look at the human spirit and its capacity for compromise, empathy, patience, trust, and forgiveness. Although this story is primarily supposed to be about Alex Lowe, I was drawn to the story of the plucky young woman who chose him as her mate and was struck by the tragedy of suddenly losing him. To be able to, to want to move on into a new marriage is a testament to the depth of love Alex and Jennifer shared. Long before I read this book, I happened across an image of one of Jennifer's paintings in a magazine. There were two horses; both were running, and launching herself midstride from one horse to another was a cowgirl. Now I understand the painting to be a leap of trust and faith in both the journey of a new relationship and in the heart of her new partner.

Forget Me Not is a book that braids the strands of relationships, discovery, adventure, love, loss, and courage into a story you won't be able to put down.

I loved this book. I spent a stormy afternoon finishing it last week, unable to put it down, swept along between enviable loves, heart wrenching losses, and, of course, climbing expedition dramas; all my favorite components for a great read.
Jenni Lowe-Anker changes mediums from paints to prose with unequivocal success in her rendering of mountain landscapes and the people compelled by them, of whom she is clearly one. She climbed hard with
Alex, raised three boys, and forged a successful career with her painting to help support them. Now, trading
brush for pen, she has written their story.
Jenni's indomitable spirit shines from every page with warmth and genuineness as she navigates the complex loves and losses of her life. She courageously shares both with candid honesty, first through her own
story, then through Alex's letters home from the mountains. These letters are a highlight of the book, an amazing gift she chooses to share.
This is a book about hope. It is a lesson in picking up the pieces and moving forward, moving on with
strength and grace, and an absolute lack of self pity. It is an inspiration to follow one's dreams with passion and originality, to love hard, mourn hard, and love hard again.

In Jennifer Lowe-Anker's captivating life story, she not only tells of her own life in poignant detail but those of so many intertwined. From the beginning as a reader it is hard not to be taken by the passionate relationships between climbers, lovers and friends. Lowe-Anker reminds us of our own loves and losses as she describes falling in love with one of the finest Alpinists of this time. When she writes of his loss, the pang of that raw anguish hits the reader, even though it is mentioned from the beginning.

Death is never an easy thing, but as the author points out it is all around us, ebbing with the tides of life on this earth. As someone in a climbing relationship as well, I particularly related to the fears and elements described in the relationship that Jennifer and Alex Lowe shared, though even if you aren't involved with climbing it captures the core of all human relationships. Reading about the life she lived after she had thought it ended was a show of confidence and courage that everyone can use a dose of.

This book will take you on a journey through many high summits, and a story of how some may find themselves despite the ever changing tides that life brings us. Above all else you will leave the last page rejuvenated to live and love every day to the fullest from reading this heartfelt story of the Lowe and Lowe-Anker family.

The center insert of black and white photos are particularly absorbing.

Jennifer Lowe-Anker's wonderfully woven tale poignantly describes the emotional heartache experienced by Alex Lowe as he battled daily with his two loves, climbing and his family. I knew of Alex only as a climber, yet this tale describes his immense love and devotion to his wife and family, and his struggle to balance these two oft-competing passions.

As a climber, husband and a father, both my wife and I have struggled with the issues described here, and Lowe-Anker's heartfelt prose brings home the harsh realities of a life lived with love, and the ultimate consequences that can occur as we pursue our dreams.

This is a wonderful book, which causes us to ponder the big questions of love and life, and the true value of every second we have in our hands, and our hearts.

I have read and re-read this memoir, and can't get enough. Lowe-Anker does an incredible job of bring Alex's spirit, love of love, energy, and boundless enthusiasm to life. Jennifer, Alex, and Conrad are all amazing people -- with an equally amazing story to share. Guaranteed to make you laugh, and cry!