Customer Reviews

Forgive & Forget [VHS]

5 star:		(5)
4 star:		(7)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(5)

 

 

FORGIVE AND FORGET

(UK - 1999)

Aspect ratio: 1.78:1
Theatrical soundtrack: Dolby Digital

The life of young, working-class David (Steve John Shepherd) is thrown into turmoil when his best friend Theo (John Simm) - with whom David is secretly in love - sets up home with art student Hannah (Laura Fraser), sidelining David, perhaps forever. David's subsequent attempts to disrupt Theo's relationship with Hannah and come to terms with his own sexuality has far-reaching, potentially devastating consequences...

Aisling Walsh's British telefilm - which takes its title from a cringe-making TV confessional show that figures largely throughout the film - examines the theme of a strong relationship threatened by an outsider, and is set against the backdrop of London's ultra-macho building trade, an aspect which dispels the possibility of gay stereotyping whilst simultaneously turning the dramatic screws for the central characters. But our sympathies for David - consolidated in a heart-wrenching scene when Theo asks him: "How do you tell someone you love them?", blithely unaware of David's feelings, and oblivious to the turmoil which such a question might provoke - are neatly challenged by his selfish betrayal of Theo's romance with Hannah. How the viewer reacts to the complex ambiguity of the closing sequence depends on how far you're prepared to 'forgive and forget' David's blind, reckless stupidity.

Walsh and writer Mark Burt recorded an audio commentary for the original US DVD release, where it became obvious they intended the movie for a predominantly straight audience. David's sexuality is never explored in any great detail and is used as little more than a device to facilitate the drama, though some gay viewers may find this matter-of-fact approach unusually refreshing. But while director and author provide a detailed analysis of the creative decisions which affected the outcome of individual sequences - the use of locations, color schemes, etc. - they make no attempt to engage with the brief controversy which blew up (in the UK, at least) over the film's ending. Were they even aware that some gay viewers were bitterly divided between those who thought the film simply explored the consequences of betrayal, and those who believed the climax was profoundly homophobic? Viewers are urged to see the movie and decide for themselves.

Though hidebound by the usual TV restrictions, the film's modest production values are thoroughly professional throughout, while Walsh's unobtrusive direction and Kevin Rowley's discreet camerawork allows a superb cast of familiar British actors - including Maurice Roeves and Ger Ryan (the latter went on to feature in the UK version of "Queer as Folk") - to illustrate those small, distinctive characteristics which define the Common Man (and Woman). But the film is anchored by Simm and Shepherd, both veterans of quality TV drama, and widely recognized as two of the finest actors of their generation. Here, they're quietly impressive as close friends who are ultimately divided by their separate needs, and they're given fine support by Laura Fraser as the hapless object of their concerns.

Though intended for television, FORGIVE AND FORGET played theatrically in venues all over the world, mostly in festival slots.

I really enjoyed this movie right up until the last fifteen minutes when it fell apart and turned exceedingly nasty, ugly, and senselessly violent.

For the first 75 minutes, this is an engaging film. It deals with two lifelong friends, plasterer David (Steve John Shepherd) and Theo (John Simm). David is gay, but has admitted this to no one, especially Theo, whom he loves. Their friendship is tested when Theo falls in love with the attractive, but insecure, Hannah (Laura Fraser). David and Hannah see in each other a threat to their own relationship with David, and they each take steps to undermine the other. It's petty, it's painful, but it's human. The performances by the three leads are realistic and heartfelt. The script by Mark Burt and the direction by Aisling Walsh are solid when they deal with the three leads. (I am less convinced by the direction of, writing of, and acting by David's coworkers.)

However, the movie falls completely apart in the last fifteen minutes. The climax takes place on the set of a fictional TV show called "Forgive and Forget" where one guest admits a transgression while the sinned against listens and declares whether he or she can forgive and forget. After David does something that drives a wedge between Theo and Hannah, he arranges an appearance on the show for him and Theo. I assumed that it would be to admit what he'd done that hurt Theo's relationship with Hannah. That would have made for good storytelling.

Instead, writer Burt wrenches the story in a completely different direction, and one that has caused other reviewers here to call the film homophobic. It's hard not to agree with that assessment. Burt has David ask forgiveness from Theo for being gay, as if this is something that must be forgiven! As offensive as that is, the final scene where the two confront each other after the show is even more heinous and completely undermines the rest of the movie. It is ugly, it is violent, and the last image of Theo walking away from David implies that writer Burt and director Walsh endorse the actions taken by the character Theo. It's thoroughly repulsive.

I can not, in good conscience, recommend this to anybody.

I have not listened to the commentary track, although there is one. I'm not sure I want to listen to Mark Burt and Aisling Walsh trying to justify their work.

I would suggest giving this a skip and go directly to the British "Queer as Folk (series one)", "Get Real", "My Beautiful Laundrette", "Maurice", or "Boyfriends"

(C)2001 Joe Edkin

I do not find the movie itself homophobic, although the subject matter deals with homophobia in less than profound ways. The central character, David, is a working class closet case who secretly loves his best friend, Theo, a straight man involved in a serious relationship with an insecure woman, Hannah. Hannah, in turn, has recently broken up with a long-time lover due to his infidelities. David underhandedly plots to destroy Theo's relationship by preying upon Hannah's insecurities and by making her believe that the innocent Theo has been unfaithful. Theo, in turn, helps the disintegration of his relationship along (a bit too conveniently, plot-wise) by lying to Hannah about his whereabouts on a particular weekend. After succeeding in breaking the couple up, David comes out on a national talk show (aptly referred to as "confessional television" by the British) and confesses his love, with unhappy results.

After reading some other reviewers' comments, I'm particularly bewildered by those who expect some type of happy denouement in which Theo sweetly forgives David and the two ride off into the sunset. Maybe in someone's porn fantasy, but not here. I guess my own sense of morality must be terribly quaint and old-fashioned to suggest that David has thoroughly betrayed Theo by nefariously plotting to destroy his happiness "for Theo's own good." Theo discovers the truth of David's plotting, and not through David himself. Theo's subsequent anger and violence toward David has nothing to do with David's alleged love or with homophobia, but it has a LOT to do with a scheming friend's complete betrayal. Even if Theo were gay, is David the kind of man a reasonably adjusted person would want for a lover, let alone, friend?

As for homophobia -- the movie illustrates the day-to-day homophobia found among the English working classes (although, frankly, having lived in England, I find that the worst homophobia is found among the middle classes). However, working class blokes are prone to reticence and have trouble discussing their emotional states, honestly captured here, which is one reason David has such a tough time emerging from his closet. And like all closet cases, David's self-esteem is perhaps not what it should be or could be.

David's addiction to confessional TV and his determination to blow his wad on national television is peculiar and not overly convincing. Granted, the writer sets up from the beginning David's attraction to his favorite TV show, but David's actually admitting his love for Theo in such a manner rings hollow and is in contrast to all his deviousness up until this point. It's just not emotionally true for this up-to-now reserved character. In fact, it's downright stupid, and I suppose one could argue that David is suddenly operating in a self-destructive mode, but I find nothing in the writing of his character to suggest that he would make such a blunder. I think the real character, as presented, would save his confessions of love in a private moment with Theo.

The screenwriter admits that he himself is not gay and is more concerned with a triangle relationship in which betrayal plays a part. And the screenwriter is good at illustrating this. But the subject of living in a closet and finally coming out is, frankly, beyond his scope, and this is where the movie is flawed. Any gay man or woman knows that coming out is a process, a progression that doesn't happen in one overly dramatic flourish, on national TV, no less. And frankly, the movie offers no evidence of any progression for David, who in reality would have to deal with a) coming out and then b) confessing his secret love.

I've mentioned the problem with the unmerited national TV confession and Theo's lying to Hannah about his weekend. The third plot failure deals with Hannah's willingness to believe the worst about Theo based mainly on a phone call Theo receives from another woman (that David has set up). Oh, c'mon! No matter how insecure or tender Hannah's emotional state, the phone call would hardly constitute her going ballistic, and if she's that unbalanced then David is probably right -- Theo would be better off without her. In conclusion, plot trickery is just not a substitute for emotional truthfulness, and this is where this otherwise watchable film ultimately fails.

Directed by Aisling Walsh and written by Mark Burt "Forgive and Forget" is a powerful and unnerving love story. Hailed by some and criticized by others I found it to be quite moving as well as disturbing. If a movie can affect you in some way, and it's something you soon won't forget, then I think it's done its job at a fine piece of storytelling. This really hits hard.

The story centers on David (Steve John Shepherd) in a remarkable performance where his brooding looks, body language, and inner turmoil just exudes from him as the story unfolds. You see, David is struggling with his sexuality and the love of another man. With parents he can't seem to talk to, working with macho construction workers, and no one to turn to but tricks he picks up at night, his undying love gets the best of him. His best friend, or mate as they say, is Theo (John Simm) inseparable since childhood. The two work together and play together and it isn't until Theo falls in love and moves in with his girlfriend Hannah (Laura Fraser) that their relationship begins to unravel. Hannah has her own past to deal with and is jealous of their friendship and sees a part of David that Theo can't. Thus she tries to wedge them apart. It's their love that drives these characters actions and feeds the fire. Reminiscent of "Chuck and Buck", David's obsession grows stronger and soon does what he can to break Theo and Hannah up. When he finally does he then makes the ultimate and hard decision about coming out, to himself, Theo, and the world. And although brutal, the outcome for David is one of redemption, acceptance and liberation that he proclaims is the "happiest day of my life". And one you soon won't forget.

I really, really enjoyed this movie. Touching, sad, intense and poignant. The climactic ending hits you over the head and wakes you up to the realities of homophobia, trust, friendship, and loyalties. Steve John Shepherd and John Simm are outstanding in their performances and the supporting cast is equally impressive. I think you'll find this to be one of either you'll love it or hate it. I loved it.

The DVD is presented in Widescreen 16:9 with chapter selection, director and writer commentary, TV spots and cast and crew bios. Soundtrack is Dolby surround. The picture quality is crisp and clear and is a nice transfer.

Forgive and Forget, directed by Aisling Walsh, is a story about David (Steve John Sheperd) a plaster mason who is in love with his long time best friend Theo (John Simm) who is straight and moves in with the girl of his dreams Hannah (Laura Fraser). As Theo and Hannah get closer, David begins to feel threaten with the loss of a friendship and his long time secret love. What emerges is a deceptive ploy by Daivd to derail the couple and solidify his feelings for Theo.
This movie starts off very promising with solid character development and the interactions between David, Theo and Hannah runs smoothly. The script and director do a nice job of letting the romance of Theo and Hannah flourish, while David pines away and is slowly comsumed with jealousy and fear of losing something he never really had (Theo's romantic love interest). As the movie comes to its end it starts to fall apart, the utter violence that consumes Theo as he tries to beat David (with a pipe) is so against character and misplaced it comes across as ridiculous. The idea that David tells Theo about his love on a talk show is just as foolish since the script has him so far in the closet it would take a burning house to get him out. In the end what you won't forget or likely forgive it the inability of the writer or director to take control of this ending and make it a meaningful message instead of some poor attempt of David attaining sudden blissful insight after his beating.

I hear alot of negative remarks about this film, and after watching it, I wonder if these people who thought so negativly were even watching the same film? I found that the acters played the roles quite well, the story line was very believable, and all-in-all it was a very good movie.

Watching it brought me back to a time when I was back in the closet; when I was inlove with my best friend, and I think that John Shepard was excellent at playing the part of David and getting us to feel how he did.

At the end when he admitted his sexuality, and everyone had turned on him, I noticed some people had said it was 'unbelievable'. How could someone say that. It happenes everyday to people all over the world. Parents turn you away, you lose friends, get beat up. I found it to be very believable. And what I really liked at the end was how after his parents turned him away and he was beaten up by his best friend, He still was strong enough to say that it was the best day of his life. I think it had a very positive ending. I tink this was a great movie and I would highly recommend it.

If the Christian Right wanted to make a hateful, homophobic propaganda movie they couldn't have done better than this one. The main character is a self-loathing blue collar worker in an extreme homophobic environment. The film takes a long time to have any indication of plot, and then it goes downhill from there. The characters are pathetic, the main character is portrayed as a psychotic freak that must go on a daytime talk show to communicate. Real life - are you kidding?
Interestingly, trailers from other films on the DVD indicate that this company has a deep rooted homophobic habit. If there were a 0-star choice, I would have picked it.
There is no entertainment, no message, a view of life that is depressingly unreal. And who wrote that other review, the producer?

Fans of Alan Clarke and early Mike Leigh will be pleased with this social realist film from Scotland that does something all too rare: it presents the subject of homosexuality from the perspective of the working class, where traditional masculine values often reign supreme. The feel-good gay cinema that we have come to know in the U.S. is entirely predicated precisely on a lack of social realism where class is concerned (America tends to be "class-blind" anyway, for better and for worse). The gay men are always somehow magically steadily employed in some white-collar field, they live in swanky apartments, they drive nice cars -- loneliness or cheating or extended family are the only problems that enter their world.

Forgive and Forget, by contrast, is about a construction worker named David whose sole identity comes from being a job foreman, a breadwinner and a protector -- and he's gay. And in love with his best friend, whose typically hetero problems with sustaining relationships with women lead the construction worker to think that perhaps he has a chance to move in on this guy.

David is not a smart, clever, educated gay; he drinks beer and believes what he sees on television. He poignantly tries to make sense of his feelings, given a limited means of expression and severely limited social power. Yes, it's desperation, verging on the insane, and yes the ending flirts with a kind of masochistic gay self-hatred that will unnerve many viewers. But the world is smaller for some than it for others, and options are fewer. Just as we need more films about gay men of color, we need more films about working class gays. Forgive and Forget opens that painful but necessary conversation.

Despite the efforts of a capable cast, "Forgive and Forget" is otherwise a shipwreck of a movie, one that ultimately sinks under the weight of its own dishonest conceits. Blame the screenwriter, Mark Burt, and the director, Aisling Walsh, for creating inherently unlikable characters and placing them in an unbelievable - and even offensive - set of circumstances.

Tall, handsome David (Steve John Shepherd) is a closeted, conflicted gay man who still lives at home with his homophobic parents and works for his father's construction business. David's life is centered around running, smoking, drinking, and having empty sexual encounters. He's also addicted to watching a reality television show named "Forgive and Forget", in which people who have harmed one another confront their pasts and decide whether to forgive and forget. David is secretly in love with his best friend Theo (John Simm), an unremarkable looking, and rather bland, straight guy with whom he runs and smokes and drinks. When Theo falls in love with Hannah (Laura Fraser), a deeply neurotic and bitter young artist who also runs and smokes and drinks, David deviously plots to sabotage his friend's romance, and later, to make a desperate - and very public - play for him. David's plan goes awry, and the movie abruptly ends on an unhappy note for almost everyone involved.

There is a disturbing and unappealing thread of anti-gay sentiment that runs throughout this unpleasant little made-for-Scottish-television movie. In truth, David's sexuality only comes into play so that the piece would have a gay villain; the story would have worked just as well (or maybe better) had David been a straight man motivated by an interest in seducing Theo's girlfriend. Besides the messed-up David, the only other gay character who receives much screen time is the prissy, effete man who has hired David's company to renovate a building, and who is mocked and ridiculed by the construction workers. Even in the cast and crew biographies which comprise one of the DVD "extras", ballet dancer-turned-actor Shepherd and screenwriter Burt takes special pains to point out that they are, in fact, totally straight ... as if the world needed to know, or might care.

Homophobic undertones aside, the script is incredibly inconsistent and manipulative. For example, the film cuts to many episodes of the titular TV series, "Forgive and Forget". The host (well-played by actress Meera Syal who oozes just the right amount of smarmy and insincere concern for her guests) always - always - asks the participants, "Are you ready to forgive and forget?" That, after all, is the show's concept, its theme, its reason for being ... except, of course, when Theo and David make an appearance. In their episode - which, unbelievably, is broadcast live - all the rules and conventions of the show are conveniently tossed out the window without logic or reason, and they are never asked the familiar closing question. This is sloppy filmmaking, when the writer and director paint themselves into a corner and then "cheat" their way out for the sake of moving the story along, and it's an insult to the audience's intelligence.

I'm going to give this DVD a rating of two stars, because the actors clearly gave it their best shot, despite the inadequacies of the script and direction. However, I would discourage any of my friends and family from wasting their time watching it, and accordingly, I will not recommend it to you either.

This is surely one of the nastiest, most misleading, films ever made.

The only redeeming factor is handsome John Shepherd who plays David, a very closeted London construction worker. Secretly in love with his life-long mate Theo, David's covert problems escalate when Theo announces he is moving in with his girlfriend. Unable to share Theo's time and attention, David will do anything to undermine the couple's relationship.

David, with a misguided fantasy of 'sharing', gets the bright idea to come out of the closet on a talk show. An unwitting Theo joins him and is utterly embarassed when he is told, in front of a national audience, that David is in love with him.

That the plan backfires goes without saying, and the pretense of light comedy ends abruptly. David's ghastly father pronounces him sick and summarily tosses him out of the house. Theo hates him and, to show him just how much, beats David senseless with a lead pipe. I kid you not.

It seems that Theo and his girlfriend are a perfect match after all: they are equally smug and hateful. Looking back with pity and loathing at the wretched, bleeding David, they walk off into the sunset together. A perfect ending for a mean-spirited film that gay-friendly TLA should be ashamed to have produced.