Forgiven and Forgiving [Paperback]

L. William Countryman (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 1, 1998

"Only the strong can forgive. God, who is strongest, forgives best," writes Dr. L. William Countryman in this fresh look at forgiveness. Unlike most books on the subject, Forgiven and Forgiving is not about a step-by-step process. Rather, it is about conversion. Once we truly understand the depths of God's love for us and know deep-down that we are forgiven, we begin to see the world anew through God's eyes. Only when we are able to accept God's forgiveness for ourselves can we offer forgiveness to others. Biblically based with sound academic research, yet written in a conversational style, Forgiven and Forgiving offers valuable insights for clergy, laity, and church study groups. L. William Countryman is an Episcopal priest, professor of New Testament at the Church Divinity School of the Pacific in Berkeley, California, and the author of The Good News of Jesus, Biblical Authority or Biblical Tyranny?, Language of Ordination, and The Mystical Way in the Fourth Gospel: Crossing Over into God (Trinity Press International), and Living on the Border of the Holy: Renewing the Priesthood of All.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

The practice of forgiveness is often one of the most difficult required of Christians in their everyday lives, mainly because it involves an admission of human weakness and requires an indulgence of the offense to be forgiven. In this biblically grounded study of the concept of forgiveness, Countryman, who teaches New Testament at the Church Divinity School of the Pacific in Berkeley, Calif., offers a new look at forgiveness. Forgiveness, he contends, is not a duty but a conversion, a change of mind (metanoia) in order to see things through God's eyes instead of ours. Countryman writes, "Forgiveness... is the most generous of loves. It is God's best gift to us.... It is the spiritual river of life that carries the past along, washing it clean of its wrongs, into the as-yet uncertain future?a future that will culminate in the life of the age to come. By forgiving and being forgiven, we bring that life, our true citizenship, with us into the midst of this world." Countryman traces his reflections on forgiveness through chapters on repentance, unhealthy forms of forgiveness, refusal of forgiveness and justice. Countryman's lively style and his lucid insights into the nature of forgiveness make this a must read for clergy, laity and general readers.
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

"Combining excellent theology, theory, and practical pastoral suggestions, Countryman explores the concept of forgiveness. Basing his work less on a step-by-step process and more on the concept of conversion, or change of perspective, the author helps readers understand what it means to know God's forgiveness first in their own lives and how that knowledge leads to forgiveness of ourselves and others. The writing is written in a conversational tone that will be appealing to laity and church study groups." -- ChurchNews

"In a world as fractious and broken as ours, this book is a much needed and welcome gift.When Countryman begins to unfold his text, one steps back with a deep sense of appreciation and admiration for how thoroughly comprehensive this little book is on this topic. This is a wonderful book." -- Sisters Today

"The joy of Forgiven and Forgiving is the way in which Countryman leads us to take the life and message of Jesus seriously--joyfully seriously!--by reminding us of what we knew all along, that God begins by creating something good and breathing life into it." -- Pacific Church News

... excellent theology, theory, and practical pastoral suggestions... biblically based with solid academic research behind the ideas... conversational tone... -- Church News, publication of the Diocese of West Texas

... fine book... sheds light on 'the gracious and generous project of redeeming the world through the spread of forgiveness.' -- Values and Visions

... pastoral theology at its best... benefical for... counseling and for any parish to use in an adult forum situation. -- Jeffrey Allen Mackey, Sewanne Theological Review

Biblically-based with sound academic research, yet written in a conversational style... valuable insights for clergy, laity, and church study groups. -- East Tennessee Episcopalian, March 1998

The author offers four ways to cultivate forgiveness, each of which is designed to avoid the denial, re-victimization, simplistic platitudes, and guilt so typical of much of the older literature on Christian forgiveness. Countryman presents a book which is both theologically and psychologically sound, the true meaning of pastoral theology. It is fortunate that the two fields are wed so well here. -- Anglican Theological Review

The joy... is the way... Countryman leads us to take the life and message of Jesus seriously-joyfully seriously! -- Pacific Church News

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 144 pages
• Publisher: Morehouse Publishing; 1 edition (March 1, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0819217344
• ISBN-13: 978-0819217349
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.6 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #788,163 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

18 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Thoughtful and intelligent treatment of a crucial topic, June 20, 2000

By 

Sophia (the Pacific Northwest) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   

This review is from: Forgiven and Forgiving (Paperback)

In "Forgiven and Forgiving," L. William Countryman engages the topic of forgiveness from a gospel perspective, especially how it fits into the Christian life, and how it contributes to the "forgiver's" sense of self, spirituality and quality of life. Mr. Countryman neither minimizes nor glosses away important issues such as abuse, pain, suffering, anger or fear; nor does he participate in sugar-coating, guilt trips, self-hatred, sanctimoniousness or denial.

Instead, this work illuminates the gradual, often difficult and painful, process of conversion needed to experience God's love and forgiveness and the realization that ultimately, every human being, each of us, will need to be forgiven for *something*. Mr. Countryman also reminds us that as we grow into our experience of God's love, forgiveness becomes that much easier, an extension of the wonderful love and support we feel. A very good, very healing, book, both religious and spiritual in the truest sense of the words.

13 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Gentle and Revolutionary, April 5, 2000

By 

Miss Poppy Dixon "Miss Poppy" (Hollywood, California) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Forgiven and Forgiving (Paperback)

I'm reading this book as part of a Lenten study series. At first I was relieved to find out that forgiveness bore little resemblance to my preconceptions of it (mainly denial). But this little book deepens quickly, and I've found myself looking at forgiveness in an entirely different way.

For one thing - if you've ever hesitated in living your life for fear of offending others, you'll learn that forgiveness is a life long process, and that apologies are nothing to fear. Forgiveness draws us deeper into life, closer to our own desires, and into more authentic relationships with others.

For someone like me who SO enjoys plotting revenge (though I rarely carry it out) this book has been tranformative.

5.0 out of 5 stars a gem of a book!, August 31, 2010

By 

Balancing Act (East Coast, USA) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Forgiven and Forgiving (Paperback)

This is a Christian book primarily about how to forgive. However as long as someone is not hostile to Christianity, I think it would be helpful to non-Christians too.

It is primarily for those who have been grievously wronged. And perhaps been wounded again, by well meaning people making light of what forgiveness really is.

Among other well done topics in this book, is the 2nd chapter called "Forgiveness - Not Quite What You Thought". Countryman explains 4 common things that are mistaken for forgiveness:

1. "One commonly share misconception is that forgiveness is a matter of making nice. The motto of this sort of forgiveness is 'They didn't really mean it.'"

2. "Another mistaken notice of forgiveness is to make it a mode of denial, the forgiveness that takes as its motto: 'It wasn't really that important.'"

3. "Another way we distort and misunderstand forgiveness is by making it a a form of emotional manipulation of ourselves or others. We think of it primarily as a feeling to be acquired by whatever means are necessary.... This is forgiveness as melodrama, a complicated competition for moral superiority based on who feels the right way and who doesn't.'"

4. "Still another common misunderstanding of forgiveness treats forgiveness as a commodity. We purchase it by means of repentance - perhaps including penances that cost us dearly. This is the notice of forgiveness as second prize. First prize goes to those who do everything right the first time around. Second prize goes to those who repent really, really well.'"

There is also a section titled "Forgiving Others for Our Own Sakes". It begins "What the matter comes down to, then, is that I need to forgive others for the sake of my own well-being. If I refuse to begin the process of forgiveness, I will find myself locked up in the pain of past wrongs. I'll no longer be shaped and determined primarily by the blessings and opportunities of my life, but by the harm someone else has done to me."

Countryman does not shy away from tough issues, such as non-apologies, no apology, the absent offender, abusive situations, repeat offenders, spiritual abuse, when forgiveness is not extended to you, and when reconciliation is foolish.

If I had to reduce my library to a handful of books, this one would make the cut.